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Previously on Weeds...
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- We can't get our weed back.
- I will help you.
3
00:00:09,844 --> 00:00:11,914
After I slam his dick...
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00:00:12,663 --> 00:00:14,221
- in this drawer.
- I can do this.
5
00:00:14,432 --> 00:00:17,197
You're Pretty! will front you
all the products that you need
6
00:00:17,322 --> 00:00:19,477
to put yourself
on the road to financial freedom.
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I can sell a lot more makeup
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00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:23,355
if I give a free gift.
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00:00:23,839 --> 00:00:25,315
No, I can't steal their weed.
10
00:00:25,527 --> 00:00:28,527
No, just tell them that you got
ripped off by black people.
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00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:31,572
- Strike a pose, Harm.
- They really want to have sex.
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Both of them? Use condoms.
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All I know is
some Mexi-cunt screeches at you,
14
00:00:38,665 --> 00:00:40,121
suddenly the marriage is off.
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00:00:40,333 --> 00:00:43,376
She's just protecting
my public image.
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- Because she owns you.
- I am the father of this child.
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I couldn't put Esteban's name
on the birth certificate.
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So you put my name on it.
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00:00:51,390 --> 00:00:53,593
I'm not doing this for you.
This is for me.
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I want something that matters.
21
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This is unacceptable.
22
00:00:57,178 --> 00:00:58,831
My son will be baptized.
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Sorry. He's Jewish.
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00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:02,722
My son's not gonna be raised
by that pendejo!
25
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That pendejo sticks around!
26
00:01:05,108 --> 00:01:06,580
And he's not a coward.
27
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Weeds 509
Suck 'N' Spit
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By the Fumistes team.
lesfumistes[at]gmail.com
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I need the bed, Andy.
30
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It lives here.
31
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I made up the couch for you. Soft...
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Lots of blankets.
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Great.
34
00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:45,581
Enjoy it.
35
00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:12,737
No! Jesus!
36
00:03:15,214 --> 00:03:16,737
So, are you and Esteban over?
37
00:03:17,756 --> 00:03:19,198
Looks that way.
38
00:03:19,409 --> 00:03:21,367
He's pissed
about the Jew thing, huh?
39
00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:23,774
I have no idea, Andy.
Why don't you ask him?
40
00:03:23,899 --> 00:03:25,870
Can you turn off the light, please?
41
00:03:26,085 --> 00:03:27,736
No. My bed, my rules.
42
00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:32,402
- There's some things I want to say.
- Of course there are.
43
00:03:32,527 --> 00:03:34,754
First, physical contact.
44
00:03:35,022 --> 00:03:37,573
If we have to share a bed,
don't even think about spooning me,
45
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that's not happening.
46
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Second, pillows...
47
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I use three.
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Under the head,
between the legs, and a hugger.
49
00:03:46,185 --> 00:03:48,174
Third, night farts...
50
00:03:48,813 --> 00:03:49,813
happen.
51
00:03:50,039 --> 00:03:51,978
Especially since I've been dieting.
52
00:03:52,103 --> 00:03:55,144
So beware when you lift the covers,
and don't expect apologies...
53
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I need sleep!
54
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One night of sleep in a bed!
No sounds, no lights, nothing!
55
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Fine.
56
00:04:05,204 --> 00:04:07,412
But just so you know,
I'm not your rebound guy.
57
00:04:10,785 --> 00:04:12,851
He's winding up. Go get him.
58
00:04:13,333 --> 00:04:14,420
What about Lupita?
59
00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:15,964
It's her night off.
60
00:04:16,405 --> 00:04:18,012
You wanted to be a daddy.
61
00:04:18,779 --> 00:04:21,010
This is your big chance,
night feeding.
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It's where the big boys play.
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- This is just so you can have the bed.
- Yes, it is.
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There's breast milk in the fridge.
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You can warm it up in the bottle
66
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in a pot of hot water and test it.
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00:04:36,164 --> 00:04:38,088
And don't forget to burp him
and sing.
68
00:04:38,213 --> 00:04:40,537
He likes that.
Me and Mrs. Jones.
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00:04:41,032 --> 00:04:41,864
Seriously?
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We got a thing...
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going on.
72
00:05:09,105 --> 00:05:10,792
Can you check on the baby?
73
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I fed him.
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00:05:13,888 --> 00:05:15,146
He probably pooped.
75
00:05:15,358 --> 00:05:16,884
That's how babies work.
76
00:05:17,454 --> 00:05:19,610
I was thinking
that you could handle the poop
77
00:05:19,821 --> 00:05:22,627
and I would amuse him
by making funny faces.
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You can make funny faces
while you wipe his butt.
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I'm gonna pump.
80
00:05:40,854 --> 00:05:41,757
What?!
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00:05:42,101 --> 00:05:43,478
I just changed him!
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He's hungry again.
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He wants his mommy.
84
00:05:48,307 --> 00:05:51,102
Well, I'm empty...
from the last pumping.
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00:05:51,227 --> 00:05:52,845
Go pop a bottle in his mouth.
86
00:05:54,665 --> 00:05:57,273
- You're trying to break me, aren't you?
- No!
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00:05:57,483 --> 00:05:59,096
This is what parenting is.
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Shit and food.
89
00:06:03,158 --> 00:06:04,158
Shit...
90
00:06:05,104 --> 00:06:06,532
and food... mostly shit.
91
00:06:07,416 --> 00:06:08,631
Wiping shit.
92
00:06:09,541 --> 00:06:10,995
Keeping them away from shit.
93
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Minimizing the external shit.
94
00:06:13,988 --> 00:06:15,374
It's parenting shit.
95
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What about love?
96
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It's there, it's just...
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buried under all the... shit.
98
00:06:23,271 --> 00:06:24,821
I still feel used.
99
00:06:26,066 --> 00:06:28,494
Talk to me after you've had something
clamped onto your breast
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every 3 to 4 hours.
101
00:06:30,266 --> 00:06:32,602
You think I never had
my nipples clamped?
102
00:06:32,987 --> 00:06:34,434
Ashley Stepanski...
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I don't care. Go.
He's crying. Go, go.
104
00:06:45,863 --> 00:06:48,416
So, after the judge signs off
on the release form,
105
00:06:48,541 --> 00:06:51,764
and after I get the pot back
from the cop at the evidence locker,
106
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I put it in a black duffel.
107
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I bought one just for this.
I'm not gonna charge you for it.
108
00:06:56,209 --> 00:06:58,043
Anyway, I threw it
in the back of my car.
109
00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:00,878
But on my way home,
Marine View Road is closed.
110
00:07:01,128 --> 00:07:02,546
So I detour onto Pacific,
111
00:07:02,755 --> 00:07:05,133
but I didn't know
that would take me into Chula Vista.
112
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:07,249
So I'm lost. I don't have GPS.
113
00:07:07,458 --> 00:07:08,845
So I stop at a gas station.
114
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,742
But the attendant
only speaks bengali.
115
00:07:10,951 --> 00:07:13,964
So I ask a couple of guys selling
stuffed tigers outside the mini-mart
116
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if they know
how to get back to ren mar.
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Next thing I know,
I wake up in the backseat.
118
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They got everything.
Your pot is gone.
119
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I've got a crooked dick,
and there's no pot?
120
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Silas, you understand.
121
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I mean, it wasn't my fault.
122
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I'm the victim here.
123
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Holy shit. Nice bar.
124
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Can we get drunk?
125
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- I'm not sure.
- Go ahead. Tell him.
126
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Tell me what?
127
00:07:55,595 --> 00:07:57,643
- There's this thing.
- It hurts when we pee.
128
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- It might be nothing.
- Or it might be chlamydia.
129
00:08:04,478 --> 00:08:07,028
- See anything?
- Nothing on the underside.
130
00:08:07,550 --> 00:08:09,405
What's the white stuff
under the head?
131
00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:11,532
It's just lotion from this morning.
132
00:08:12,008 --> 00:08:14,259
- This morning?
- Nothing. I don't know.
133
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Oh, shit.
Okay, didn't see anything.
134
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:19,689
Have fun, kids.
Have fun.
135
00:08:21,846 --> 00:08:22,960
I'm back.
136
00:08:24,962 --> 00:08:28,236
I can't allow this.
It doesn't seem very responsible.
137
00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:31,784
On the one hand,
I approve of the triangle formation
138
00:08:31,993 --> 00:08:34,193
and the daring use of spotlights.
139
00:08:34,503 --> 00:08:37,058
- On the other hand...
- I might have something.
140
00:08:38,194 --> 00:08:39,936
Not tonsillitis, I'm guessing?
141
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,479
We all have chlamydia.
142
00:08:43,309 --> 00:08:44,445
Okay, everyone out.
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00:08:44,654 --> 00:08:46,609
Dancer, Prancer,
go tell your own parents.
144
00:08:47,576 --> 00:08:48,444
Go, go.
145
00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:50,863
Don't have any sexual encounters
on the way home.
146
00:08:51,260 --> 00:08:54,492
And, Shane, button up,
and then we'll go get this checked out.
147
00:08:54,897 --> 00:08:57,869
- It's fine. It's nothing.
- No, it's not fine. It's never nothing.
148
00:08:58,444 --> 00:09:01,616
Sometimes it's nothing,
but only after you make sure it's not.
149
00:09:01,825 --> 00:09:05,086
And then if it is something,
I'm sure that that can be fixed.
150
00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:06,504
You ever...?
151
00:09:08,820 --> 00:09:10,148
Well, a couple times.
152
00:09:10,723 --> 00:09:12,707
I think. If I can remember...
153
00:09:12,916 --> 00:09:14,366
Take a deep breath.
154
00:09:16,528 --> 00:09:17,878
Hold that breath.
155
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:21,402
And let it out slowly.
156
00:09:23,353 --> 00:09:25,995
Doesn't that feel good?
157
00:09:31,668 --> 00:09:33,718
Thank you, Danielle.
Good aim.
158
00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:35,575
I play softball.
159
00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:36,975
Of course you do.
160
00:09:37,184 --> 00:09:41,080
So, am I smoking
the mascara or the blush?
161
00:09:42,626 --> 00:09:45,126
- You have the Winter...
- Winter's kiss.
162
00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:47,997
Winter's kiss powdery blush.
163
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:50,712
And Pinky has...
164
00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:52,661
Lucky lash. Waterproof.
165
00:09:52,870 --> 00:09:55,627
Lucky lash waterproof mascara.
166
00:09:55,836 --> 00:09:58,473
You sure I can put this
on my credit card?
167
00:09:58,723 --> 00:10:01,523
That's what makes this
the best deal in town.
168
00:10:02,917 --> 00:10:06,296
Your weed shows up
as "beauty products"
169
00:10:06,505 --> 00:10:08,065
on your credit-card statement.
170
00:10:08,554 --> 00:10:11,861
No cash needed.
Smoke now, pay later.
171
00:10:12,590 --> 00:10:15,947
What do you say?!
Are you feeling pretty?!
172
00:10:16,156 --> 00:10:18,033
Lady, I never feel pretty.
173
00:10:18,578 --> 00:10:21,039
But right now I'm feeling good.
174
00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:24,040
- I'll take one of everything.
- Me, too.
175
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:26,501
And I got some friends
that are pretty hard up
176
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:29,337
since that dry-cleaner pot club
got shut down.
177
00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:30,882
What about this?
178
00:10:31,294 --> 00:10:35,009
You buy from me
and resell it to your friends.
179
00:10:35,828 --> 00:10:38,596
The more you buy from me,
and the more they buy from you,
180
00:10:38,968 --> 00:10:42,068
the sooner you're gonna pay off
those credit cards.
181
00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:52,024
Come forward and receive.
182
00:10:54,629 --> 00:10:55,738
But first...
183
00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:56,988
Business.
184
00:10:58,568 --> 00:11:00,284
Everyone, let's see that plastic.
185
00:11:06,932 --> 00:11:09,669
This is great... No crying, no poop,
186
00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:12,203
just a good old-fashioned STD scare.
187
00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:13,813
This is my wheelhouse.
188
00:11:14,022 --> 00:11:15,813
Well, I'm glad you're happy.
189
00:11:16,022 --> 00:11:17,414
I'm in an LGBT clinic
190
00:11:17,623 --> 00:11:20,555
waiting to see if my 14-year-old
has a venereal disease.
191
00:11:21,270 --> 00:11:22,673
I'm never having sex again.
192
00:11:22,882 --> 00:11:26,032
Buddy, you got to get back
on that horse and ride...
193
00:11:26,422 --> 00:11:27,534
Not bareback.
194
00:11:27,743 --> 00:11:30,481
No sex ever again.
That's a very good idea.
195
00:11:30,731 --> 00:11:32,157
Terrible idea.
196
00:11:32,366 --> 00:11:35,111
Sex is awesome.
I enjoy sex.
197
00:11:35,464 --> 00:11:36,988
You enjoy sex.
198
00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:38,948
Why shouldn't shane enjoy sex?
199
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:41,867
I just had a q-tip in my dickhole.
200
00:11:42,117 --> 00:11:43,417
Cotton-eyed joe.
201
00:11:43,695 --> 00:11:45,945
We've all been there.
No big deal.
202
00:11:46,241 --> 00:11:49,887
I got a cat hair lodged
in my urethra one time.
203
00:11:50,096 --> 00:11:52,920
It's not bestiality.
A sleeping bag at burning man.
204
00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:55,535
Cat girl.
God, she meowed...
205
00:11:55,744 --> 00:11:57,416
No, the last thing we need
206
00:11:57,625 --> 00:12:00,970
is another uncle Andy
fractured fairy tale.
207
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:04,473
- I don't want him thinking it's okay.
- This is okay.
208
00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:07,251
- I don't want Shane living your life.
- As opposed to living yours?
209
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:09,562
'cause you've been such
a good object lesson for him.
210
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:12,189
I've been a parent, not a friend.
211
00:12:16,087 --> 00:12:17,903
Well, it's not chlamydia.
212
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:20,740
- High five.
- He does, however, have an infection.
213
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:23,908
- What kind of infection?
- Candida. It's a yeast.
214
00:12:24,643 --> 00:12:26,643
A yeast infection?
Seriously?
215
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:31,542
I'm gonna prescribe some gentian violet
to rub on your penis.
216
00:12:32,499 --> 00:12:35,538
Or if you want the cheaper
over-the-counter option,
217
00:12:35,747 --> 00:12:37,173
you can use vagistat.
218
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:40,176
No, no, no, no, no.
We'll take violet over vag.
219
00:12:40,499 --> 00:12:43,684
Money's no object...
For my nephew's object.
220
00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:44,835
Right, Shane?
221
00:12:45,044 --> 00:12:47,892
See, you're being a buddy,
not a parent.
222
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:50,788
Will you two stop?
I don't need a buddy or a parent.
223
00:12:50,997 --> 00:12:52,497
I need a pharmacist.
224
00:14:20,169 --> 00:14:23,093
He'll be fine.
Rite of passage.
225
00:14:23,927 --> 00:14:25,454
Granted, not...
226
00:14:26,110 --> 00:14:28,594
exactly the Bar Mitzvah
that he should have had.
227
00:14:29,425 --> 00:14:30,738
A moment of silence, please,
228
00:14:30,863 --> 00:14:33,269
while I continue to enjoy
the sweet caress of alcohol
229
00:14:33,394 --> 00:14:35,332
for the first time in far too long.
230
00:14:43,209 --> 00:14:44,508
Can I talk now?
231
00:14:50,555 --> 00:14:51,348
Now?
232
00:14:53,074 --> 00:14:57,078
So, fucking male yeast infection.
That's crazy, right?
233
00:14:57,519 --> 00:15:00,342
Who knew? It's like
a cross-pollination sort of thing...
234
00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:02,400
Mad cow, hoof and mouth.
235
00:15:02,734 --> 00:15:06,321
The human body is a complex
and mysterious experiment.
236
00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:07,405
It's a sewer.
237
00:15:07,890 --> 00:15:09,893
You're still reeling
from that diaper change.
238
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,619
That wasn't human.
You didn't see that.
239
00:15:13,972 --> 00:15:15,081
I've seen it.
240
00:15:17,201 --> 00:15:20,252
Well, he's Lupita's problem
for the next couple hours.
241
00:15:21,855 --> 00:15:23,455
He's nobody's problem.
242
00:15:24,669 --> 00:15:26,055
He's my son.
243
00:15:26,180 --> 00:15:29,610
My third son.
My third... son.
244
00:15:31,989 --> 00:15:34,002
The little bastard saved my life.
245
00:15:34,435 --> 00:15:36,017
And he's pretty damn cute, right?
246
00:15:36,305 --> 00:15:37,305
Like...
247
00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:39,835
sick crazy cute.
248
00:15:41,129 --> 00:15:42,829
These drinks are strong.
249
00:15:43,162 --> 00:15:44,852
Why can't babies just talk?
250
00:15:44,977 --> 00:15:47,845
They come out knowing how to breathe.
Talking should be a...
251
00:15:47,970 --> 00:15:49,739
What do you call?
Involuntary action.
252
00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:51,366
- For you, it is.
- Imagine
253
00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:54,411
if Stevie could say,
"hey, I got something in the pants.
254
00:15:54,937 --> 00:15:56,663
"Put me on the potty, stat."
255
00:15:56,788 --> 00:15:58,707
You'll learn to read the signs.
256
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,961
God, I should have pumped.
257
00:16:04,408 --> 00:16:07,356
- So, they hurt or...?
- Yes. Hurt.
258
00:16:08,310 --> 00:16:10,160
- Do you want to go?
- No.
259
00:16:11,506 --> 00:16:14,639
It's my first time out.
Hang on a second.
260
00:16:40,361 --> 00:16:41,361
No way.
261
00:16:46,164 --> 00:16:47,166
Fuck!
262
00:16:50,883 --> 00:16:51,883
Okay.
263
00:16:53,719 --> 00:16:55,159
Okay, relax.
264
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,905
Oh, god damn it.
Fuck it all to hell.
265
00:17:05,030 --> 00:17:06,923
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
266
00:17:20,233 --> 00:17:21,775
Hi. Yeah.
267
00:17:22,586 --> 00:17:24,236
Could you come in here?
268
00:17:25,409 --> 00:17:27,109
In the... bathroom, yeah.
269
00:17:31,889 --> 00:17:34,289
Just shut up.
Just come in here. Bye.
270
00:17:38,234 --> 00:17:39,307
My dream is dead.
271
00:17:39,817 --> 00:17:41,017
Paradise lost.
272
00:17:42,409 --> 00:17:43,669
We'll start over.
273
00:17:43,794 --> 00:17:47,167
I'll grow in the upstairs closet.
I did it once, I can do it again.
274
00:17:47,292 --> 00:17:50,193
This is America. You get one chance.
You blow it, that's it.
275
00:17:50,922 --> 00:17:54,906
Adiós, losers.
I am out of here for good.
276
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:56,700
For great.
277
00:17:57,842 --> 00:17:59,035
New Condo.
278
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,871
Ocean view. Covered parking.
279
00:18:02,343 --> 00:18:04,040
Saltwater pool.
280
00:18:05,376 --> 00:18:07,002
Good for you, Mrs. Hodes.
281
00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:08,461
Thanks for stopping by.
282
00:18:09,235 --> 00:18:11,798
- Enjoy packing.
- Thank you.
283
00:18:11,966 --> 00:18:14,384
- Yeah, good for you. Who you fucking?
- Nobody.
284
00:18:15,157 --> 00:18:19,161
I did this all on my own,
selling You're Pretty! cosmetics.
285
00:18:19,590 --> 00:18:22,315
And I am selling a shitload.
286
00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:24,390
That bullshit makeup company?
287
00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:27,105
Yeah, that bullshit
is buying mama a new life.
288
00:18:27,641 --> 00:18:29,791
God, it's good to be back on top.
289
00:18:31,815 --> 00:18:34,350
- Engorged. I'm engorged.
- "I'm engorged"?
290
00:18:34,475 --> 00:18:37,407
Engorged. It hurts.
Please, I need you to suck it out.
291
00:18:38,494 --> 00:18:40,243
- Can't we just...?
- I tried!
292
00:18:40,411 --> 00:18:42,120
- Maybe...
- I tried.
293
00:18:42,591 --> 00:18:44,137
Please, be the baby!
294
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:47,369
I've done my share
of role-playing before.
295
00:18:47,494 --> 00:18:48,710
Some crazy, weird shit.
296
00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:50,642
- I was a werewolf...
- Shut up and suck!
297
00:18:50,767 --> 00:18:51,967
Wait. Hold it.
298
00:18:53,628 --> 00:18:56,428
- What's it gonna taste like?
- Rum and milk.
299
00:18:59,246 --> 00:19:01,270
Here we go. Lips to nips.
300
00:19:08,439 --> 00:19:11,064
- No teeth! No!
- Sorry. Sorry.
301
00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:22,702
Spit, spit.
302
00:19:29,916 --> 00:19:31,720
That's a really interesting flavor.
303
00:19:31,845 --> 00:19:34,798
I imagined a spout,
but it's like a showerhead. It's like
304
00:19:35,288 --> 00:19:36,488
You swallowed!
305
00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:40,226
Yeah, well...
I don't want to be a hypocrite.
306
00:19:52,705 --> 00:19:54,442
Why is the bed moving?
307
00:19:55,973 --> 00:19:58,113
I guess we had an earthquake.
308
00:19:59,491 --> 00:20:01,491
You're jerking off.
309
00:20:02,184 --> 00:20:03,326
I couldn't sleep.
310
00:20:03,962 --> 00:20:06,162
Well, take a fucking Ambien.
311
00:20:10,274 --> 00:20:11,974
That's what I was doing.
312
00:20:12,693 --> 00:20:13,974
Nature's Ambien.
313
00:20:14,099 --> 00:20:17,165
The old tried-and-true male way:
cum, sleep.
314
00:20:18,009 --> 00:20:19,558
I'm right here!
315
00:20:19,798 --> 00:20:23,138
Well, I'm engorged. It hurts.
I need you to suck it out.
316
00:20:23,562 --> 00:20:26,262
- Be the baby.
- This is too fucking weird.
317
00:20:27,943 --> 00:20:29,602
I've seen you in the bathtub.
318
00:20:30,308 --> 00:20:32,224
You watched me fuck your sister.
319
00:20:32,349 --> 00:20:33,908
I suckled you.
320
00:20:34,308 --> 00:20:36,308
But this is too weird for you?
321
00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:40,629
Which is why we should cling to any
last shred of normalcy that we can.
322
00:20:40,754 --> 00:20:41,656
Okay.
323
00:20:42,524 --> 00:20:44,324
Just be two normal people.
324
00:20:44,851 --> 00:20:47,075
Normal brother/sisters-in-law
325
00:20:47,561 --> 00:20:49,638
sharing a house and a bed together,
326
00:20:49,763 --> 00:20:51,913
raising a Mexican-American child.
327
00:20:52,677 --> 00:20:54,477
- Just normal.
- Exactly.
328
00:20:54,952 --> 00:20:57,505
Which means
masturbating on our own time.
329
00:20:57,673 --> 00:21:00,212
'cause I'm swimming in that
these days.
330
00:21:00,337 --> 00:21:04,341
Today was a bath of me time
and personal space.
331
00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:08,308
Sounds like a feeding.
332
00:21:09,305 --> 00:21:13,199
I'll get this. Go ahead.
Take your Andy time.
333
00:21:15,344 --> 00:21:17,544
Can Andy time be about 15 minutes?
334
00:21:18,036 --> 00:21:20,436
Just keep it
on that side of the bed.
335
00:21:22,311 --> 00:21:23,761
Just so you know...
336
00:21:24,337 --> 00:21:28,287
If you want to rub one out in bed,
I totally get that, and I'll stay
337
00:21:28,733 --> 00:21:29,913
way over on my side.
338
00:21:30,350 --> 00:21:32,174
You won't even know I'm here.
339
00:21:33,189 --> 00:21:34,834
I just had a baby
340
00:21:35,407 --> 00:21:36,593
less than two weeks ago.
341
00:21:36,718 --> 00:21:39,007
The father of my child might be
gone for good,
342
00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:42,079
so rubbing one out isn't exactly
at the top of my list, but thank you.
343
00:21:42,204 --> 00:21:43,635
Just wanted to reciprocate.
344
00:21:46,105 --> 00:21:48,890
- When you... You weren't thinking...
- Don't flatter yourself.
345
00:21:50,667 --> 00:21:51,667
Here.
346
00:21:52,235 --> 00:21:53,485
For when you...
347
00:21:54,340 --> 00:21:55,340
burp.
348
00:22:00,698 --> 00:22:03,738
Go ahead, sweetheart.
Share. This is a safe place.
349
00:22:05,866 --> 00:22:08,243
Well, he says
that I can't do anything on my own.
350
00:22:09,850 --> 00:22:11,750
He says no one will hire me.
351
00:22:12,786 --> 00:22:14,791
That I'm too stupid to have a job.
352
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,543
He calls me dummy-no-jobby.
353
00:22:18,772 --> 00:22:21,855
And whenever his friends come over,
he...
354
00:22:24,426 --> 00:22:25,426
He what?
355
00:22:25,594 --> 00:22:27,053
Locks you in the closet?
356
00:22:27,221 --> 00:22:28,849
Dresses you like a maid?
357
00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:31,349
Go ahead, finish the story.
What happened?
358
00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:33,893
May I help you, sir?
359
00:22:34,178 --> 00:22:36,938
Yeah, I want to make a lot of money
selling your face chemicals.
360
00:22:37,106 --> 00:22:41,106
Well, we don't carry products for men,
so please leave the way you came in.
361
00:22:41,401 --> 00:22:43,386
What?
You're kicking me out?
362
00:22:43,648 --> 00:22:46,030
'cause I'm not some bored housewife?
What's that?
363
00:22:46,314 --> 00:22:47,360
Sir,
364
00:22:47,791 --> 00:22:51,202
You're Pretty! is for women
who have been marginalized,
365
00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:52,412
disenfranchised
366
00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:55,456
and who have never been allowed
the opportunity to succeed.
367
00:22:55,624 --> 00:22:57,709
Well, I need
the opportunity to succeed.
368
00:22:58,895 --> 00:23:00,045
Please leave.
369
00:23:00,791 --> 00:23:04,202
Okay, if you wouldn't mind opening
your incentive booklets to page 5.
370
00:23:04,327 --> 00:23:06,459
Okay, okay. I see the game here.
371
00:23:06,584 --> 00:23:09,526
And I'm gonna sue you
for sexual harassment. How about that?
372
00:23:09,847 --> 00:23:12,308
- You mean discrimination?
- That, too.
373
00:23:12,433 --> 00:23:15,310
I demand you let men sell makeup.
374
00:23:20,589 --> 00:23:21,494
Look, asshole.
375
00:23:21,619 --> 00:23:25,028
I will hook you up with a starter kit
if you get out. You're blowing my gig.
376
00:23:25,423 --> 00:23:27,030
Starter kits are for pussies.
377
00:23:27,198 --> 00:23:28,948
You think you can handle
a full order?
378
00:23:29,224 --> 00:23:31,455
Damn right, full order. Fill me up.
379
00:23:31,580 --> 00:23:34,122
And I want one of those booklets too,
so I have incentive.
380
00:23:34,247 --> 00:23:36,582
- You single?
- I dig snatch.
381
00:23:36,707 --> 00:23:37,707
Me too.
382
00:23:38,201 --> 00:23:39,334
You want to go out?
383
00:23:40,149 --> 00:23:42,211
Buy three full orders,
and I'll think about it.
384
00:23:42,489 --> 00:23:44,907
Okay?
You have a pretty day now.
385
00:23:46,209 --> 00:23:47,216
Very pretty.
386
00:23:56,885 --> 00:23:58,140
Pilar was right.
387
00:23:59,682 --> 00:24:02,271
I should be happy.
388
00:24:03,128 --> 00:24:04,840
I should enjoy myself.
389
00:24:06,695 --> 00:24:08,984
Life's too short, Cesar.
390
00:24:10,265 --> 00:24:12,186
You should smile more.
391
00:24:24,229 --> 00:24:26,451
He drank 4 ounces.
392
00:24:27,458 --> 00:24:28,660
Nice.
393
00:24:30,595 --> 00:24:33,346
Think that'll translate
into 4 hours?
394
00:24:34,137 --> 00:24:35,473
Let us pray.
395
00:24:35,895 --> 00:24:37,071
I can't.
396
00:24:38,300 --> 00:24:39,542
I'm too tired.
397
00:24:50,643 --> 00:24:51,697
Interesting.
398
00:24:52,159 --> 00:24:53,491
How did you get in here?
399
00:24:53,883 --> 00:24:55,871
You are in bed together.
400
00:24:56,287 --> 00:24:58,891
Chill out. Look. Pillow wall.
401
00:24:59,884 --> 00:25:02,417
A small house. Few rooms.
402
00:25:03,466 --> 00:25:05,336
It's fine.
I'm not threatened.
403
00:25:06,707 --> 00:25:08,923
Well, maybe you should
be threatened.
404
00:25:10,811 --> 00:25:13,713
I have something to tell you.
405
00:25:14,393 --> 00:25:16,848
- So, tell me.
- Alone.
406
00:25:18,649 --> 00:25:21,015
I'm not leaving. This is my bed.
407
00:25:21,551 --> 00:25:23,146
Say what you have to say.
408
00:25:26,519 --> 00:25:27,519
Marry me.
409
00:25:31,178 --> 00:25:33,156
We've had this discussion before.
410
00:25:34,642 --> 00:25:37,160
I would like to have it
one more time.
411
00:25:38,234 --> 00:25:39,579
Never gonna happen, pal.
412
00:25:40,470 --> 00:25:42,039
Andy, would you give us a second?
413
00:25:42,849 --> 00:25:46,274
- It's my fucking room!
- Okay.
414
00:25:48,398 --> 00:25:49,881
Let's go downstairs for a minute.
415
00:25:50,633 --> 00:25:51,833
Yeah. Do that.
416
00:25:53,677 --> 00:25:54,844
I'm going back to bed.
417
00:25:56,430 --> 00:25:58,030
I need my beauty rest.
418
00:26:12,916 --> 00:26:14,466
What are they saying?
419
00:26:15,248 --> 00:26:16,407
I can't hear that well.
420
00:26:17,965 --> 00:26:19,696
I'll give you a dollar
if you go find out.
421
00:26:19,821 --> 00:26:22,121
- What am I gonna do with a dollar?
- All right, 20 bucks.
422
00:26:22,416 --> 00:26:24,147
- Why don't you go?
- 'cause I don't care!
423
00:26:24,272 --> 00:26:26,866
Now get the fuck out there
and find out what's going on!
424
00:26:30,381 --> 00:26:32,263
I'm gonna wind up
secretly engaged to you
425
00:26:32,388 --> 00:26:34,884
until one day Steven asks me
who his real father is?
426
00:26:35,133 --> 00:26:36,177
We will get married
427
00:26:37,285 --> 00:26:38,285
now.
428
00:26:38,514 --> 00:26:40,556
Steven will know who his father is.
429
00:26:40,902 --> 00:26:42,752
Suddenly everything's fine.
430
00:26:44,235 --> 00:26:47,522
Last night I had dinner with the woman
I'm supposed to be with.
431
00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:50,230
Okay. Fuck you.
432
00:26:51,585 --> 00:26:54,487
She knows the right people.
She says the right things.
433
00:26:54,655 --> 00:26:56,555
She wears the right clothes.
434
00:26:57,651 --> 00:27:00,034
She's the perfect candidate's wife.
435
00:27:00,202 --> 00:27:02,328
But she turned you down,
so now you're here?
436
00:27:03,335 --> 00:27:04,497
I love you.
437
00:27:05,113 --> 00:27:06,263
So I'm here.
438
00:27:06,388 --> 00:27:08,338
And you love me. So I'm here.
439
00:27:08,839 --> 00:27:11,289
And we have
a beautiful baby together.
440
00:27:11,764 --> 00:27:13,096
So I am here.
441
00:27:13,947 --> 00:27:15,547
And I am staying here.
442
00:27:17,385 --> 00:27:18,385
Get down!
443
00:27:23,518 --> 00:27:24,518
Mom?
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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