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La Team Weeds de seriessub.com
presents
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Weeds 2x12
"Pittsburgh"
(Season Finale)
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We hope you took as much pleasure as we did to follow this season =)
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Greetings Agrestic Elementary school, class of 2006
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Greetings Agrestic Elementary school, class of 2006
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Hello teachers-
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-siblings-
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-parents-
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-stepparents-
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-pets
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No pets.
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Ok, Greetings Agrestic Elementary school, class of 2006.
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Did you know about all this stuff ?
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Of course not.
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You never clean anymore.
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I think he do this for you.
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Please !
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Look, he decided to steal cameras,
not the car-stereos and door knobs.
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Why would anyone steal a door knob ?
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There are some nice door knobs.
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Lupita,
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listen.
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Yes ?
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If something would happen to me...
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What's going to happen to you ?
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Nothing, but, if something did...
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Yes ?
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The kids go to my sister Jill.
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Not to Andy, ok ?
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Jill ! Her number's in my book.
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Jill, Price-Grey, with a fucking hyphen
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Fucking hyphen.
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Under J, for "Jill"
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You know what, um...
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Don't worry about it.
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Nothing's gonna happen, yeah.
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I'm gonna be fine !
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Okay.
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I'm not going to Chili with you !
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Okay, to Bolivia then.
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Or one of the guays
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Para ? Ura ? You decide.
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Why ? Why do we have to leave ?
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Because !
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I stole 1.3 million dollars worth at poker chips
from a casino in Canada.
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And Abumchuk is not just a bounty hunter,
but he's also an ultimate fighter.
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But don't worry, I have a plan
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We'll go down to south America,
we find this guy Homet)
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Serious gambler, he'll buy the chips
for 34 cents on the dollar.
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We'll get a little casita, and have babies.
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I always know exactly when I'm ovulating.
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Oh my god !
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We'll leave today after graduation,
I'll make a waldorf salad for the road.
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Or a corn salad,
I'll make a great corn salad.
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Do we have a cooler ?
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You know,
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I haven't forgotten
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how you stabbed me screaming "Die Shit hill, die ! "
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You stepped on my spirit turtle.
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You are bad shit nuts Kat.
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and I love that about you.
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But I've never meant for you to find me again.
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And I cannot go away with you.
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You know how I hate to travel alone !
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I wanna lick this space where your toes used to be.
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I know you do, I know !
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Oh god ! That's it ! Right there, right there, right there.
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Son of a bitch !
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Son of a fucking cold bitch !
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Silas ?
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It's me, again.
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I'm offering you amnesty if you come home in the next hour.
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Probation, if you show up for graduation.
At the very least,
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please, let me know you are okay.
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You look very handsome !
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Are... we moving ?
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Why don't you let me get through today and then,
ask me about that again tomorrow, ok ?
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Is Silas coming to my graduation ?
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I'm not sure about that.
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Mom ?
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Yeah ?
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What do I tell people when they ask what you do ?
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You tell 'em I'm your mom.
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I've been doing some research on the internet,
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and I really think Pittsburgh is the place for us.
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I'll keep that in mind.
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Pittsburgh. Okay.
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Oh no, I spilled.
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I'll go get the paper towels.
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Honey, relax, it's just a little milk.
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But Mom will totally...
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Mom will what ?
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Mom's not here.
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She'll be back.
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No, honey.
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Not this time, really.
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Come on.
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Dad, you know the Harry Potter books that we've read ?
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Love'em all, love the Harry Potter.
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Mom... is Voldemort.
Don't you know that ?
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You may have reduced her to vapor now but,
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she is out there,
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gathering her strength.
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And she will be back.
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Don't you know that ?
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You better get hurry for graduation !
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Big day today.
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Big day !
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Silas ?
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We're leaving for graduation now.
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I hope you'll meet us there.
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This is really important to Shane.
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Really.
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Don't do this to him.
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Jesus, you scared me !
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Good !
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I hope you peed your panties.
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Where is he ?
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Who ?
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Alright, I guess you had to ask that.
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Who Celia ?
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The one who called you a drunk at a public assembly ?
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Or... the one who stole civic property ?
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I have no idea what you're talking about.
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I have Silas, on video.
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Stealing.
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I have no idea what you're talking about.
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Oh, not today !
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Mom, we're gonna be late !
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Where the hell did you get a gun ?
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I borrowed it from Pam.
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Oh my god !
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I only had the one bullet.
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I was gonna shoot Doug.
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I'll see you at graduation.
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Are you okay ?
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This would have never happened in Pittsburgh.
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Why am I even here ?
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I heard you might be meetin'
your maker today.
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So we figured,
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send that boy off to die,
with a nice hot breakfast in his belly.
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What do you know ?
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What do we know ?
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Vanita, what do we know ?
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Is the baby too little for a blueberry ?
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No, but if you give it to him,
cut it up real small.
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And put a bib on, cause that shit won't stain.
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Heylia got a little visit from your girlfriend.
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I told her not to come in your home.
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Nobody listen to you Conrad.
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He come after you ?
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Yeah.
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He gon' want to finish it.
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Probably.
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Let me ask you this,
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you wanna die today ?
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No.
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Eat your fucking waffle.
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Greetings Agrestic Elementary School, Class of 2006.
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Hello teachers, parents,
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stepparents, siblings, boyfriends and girlfriends of parents,
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all sort of relatives,
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friends of your mom and dad who
you call aunt and oncle but really aren't.
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And, Principal Dodge.
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As I stand before you today,
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on the brink of Junior High,
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here is what I have to say :
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You have failed us all !
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Everything is not okay !
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We have become alienated
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desensitized,
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angry,
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and frightened.
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If we picture Agrestic as an airplane,
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A grand soaring jet carrying us through the sky.
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I think you all need to understand,
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there are motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane.
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Okay, that's it Botwin.
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That is quite enough.
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You said no profanity.
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You are done, and here's your diploma.
And you are Agrestic Junior High's problem now.
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Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to give out the diplomas.
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Let him speak ! Let him speak !
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Motherfucking, let him motherfucking speak !
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I will call off this graduation
if we don't have order right now !
I mean it !
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Let him speak ! ...
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Everybody be quiet !
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We are not safe !
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*You move... you feel safe, but
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your children are not safe !
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I have to go, um.
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I think take Shane to the party, and I'll see you guys later.
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Tell Shane I'm sorry, I had to go.
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Where you going ?
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It's business.
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Where are you going ?
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Congratulations, you've all graduated. Goodbye !
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Just making sure you were coming.
We both know how you lie.
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Either you control your woman,
or I will.
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I hear you,
I'm cutting in.
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00:12:36,081 --> 00:12:37,822
Are you my boyfriend, or not ?
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I liberated a case of Cactus Cooler
for the ride
203
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I'm not coming with you.
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I tastes like baby aspirin.
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Well, in that case, I'm still not going with you.
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Jesus, you've scared me.
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You ought to let a person know
you're coming.
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00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:23,749
I could have cut you up
into seven little men holding hands.
209
00:13:23,865 --> 00:13:24,902
You hear from our friend ?
210
00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:27,439
Yeah, he left a note on my car
just trying to scare me.
211
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- Is it working ?
- Fuck yes !
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00:13:34,917 --> 00:13:35,936
You're a good kisser.
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Oh shit.
214
00:13:43,321 --> 00:13:44,238
What ? What's "Oh shit" ?
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Abumchuk.
216
00:13:46,413 --> 00:13:48,104
It's now or never.
Come with me.
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00:13:48,297 --> 00:13:50,526
I can't be alone, and
you're my favorite person on earth.
218
00:13:51,237 --> 00:13:52,409
I can't do it, Kat.
219
00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:55,004
Why ? Fuck you and give me your van keys.
220
00:13:55,119 --> 00:13:56,407
You can't have my van !
221
00:13:56,408 --> 00:13:58,405
I'm just gonna steal it anyway.
222
00:14:17,012 --> 00:14:18,012
Wife fucker.
223
00:14:18,703 --> 00:14:19,703
Carrer wrecker.
224
00:14:22,219 --> 00:14:23,233
You punched my neck !
225
00:14:23,631 --> 00:14:24,996
You're freakishly tall.
226
00:14:25,826 --> 00:14:27,210
Most of are freakishly long,
227
00:14:27,211 --> 00:14:29,304
so imagine how much of me
was inside your wife.
228
00:14:41,642 --> 00:14:42,641
Hey, come here.
229
00:14:42,642 --> 00:14:43,774
Did you hear my speech ?
230
00:14:44,716 --> 00:14:45,973
No, I.. I missed it.
231
00:14:45,974 --> 00:14:47,857
- You're an asshole.
- Look, I'm sorry.
232
00:14:48,357 --> 00:14:49,721
Ok I had stuff to do.
Where's mum ?
233
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,142
I don't know. She took off
during my speech.
234
00:14:52,143 --> 00:14:53,170
Did she say where she was going ?
235
00:14:53,171 --> 00:14:55,149
No, she just.. left.
236
00:14:57,032 --> 00:14:59,126
Some fucking family you got stuck with, huh.
237
00:15:03,463 --> 00:15:04,507
Hey wassup ?
238
00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:08,485
Men, you're coming in real time, or
you're coming in black people time ?
239
00:15:09,389 --> 00:15:10,388
I will be here.
240
00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:13,558
Black people time ?
241
00:15:14,193 --> 00:15:16,365
Some of us like watermelons,
some of us got big dicks,
242
00:15:16,366 --> 00:15:18,690
Most of us have trouble
getting in places on time.
243
00:15:18,844 --> 00:15:19,862
I get it.
244
00:15:20,669 --> 00:15:23,014
I like gin, and I'm not much for hugging.
245
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:25,665
Did you bring your gun ?
246
00:15:26,971 --> 00:15:30,084
Actually, that's one cultural stereotype that
I'm not fulfilling today.
247
00:15:31,006 --> 00:15:32,140
I brought a gun.
248
00:15:32,782 --> 00:15:34,618
Celia left one at my house this morning
249
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after she shot on my kitchen cabinet.
250
00:15:36,330 --> 00:15:38,327
Jesus, give me that fucking thing.
251
00:15:38,807 --> 00:15:40,902
There aren't any bullets in it.
252
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:44,591
Another great plan from you.
253
00:15:45,283 --> 00:15:46,936
You shouldn't put metal in a microwave.
254
00:15:49,337 --> 00:15:50,759
Hi honey, I got your note.
255
00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:54,390
You sure know how to charm a girl.
256
00:15:55,947 --> 00:15:56,984
You've been
257
00:15:57,273 --> 00:15:58,811
fucking him the whole time
you were married to me ?
258
00:15:58,812 --> 00:16:00,116
No, I told you that.
259
00:16:00,117 --> 00:16:01,173
But you're a liar.
260
00:16:01,174 --> 00:16:02,673
It's just business between us.
261
00:16:03,961 --> 00:16:05,114
Always has been.
262
00:16:07,458 --> 00:16:08,476
Your loss.
263
00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:10,417
She fucks like a wild animal.
264
00:16:11,129 --> 00:16:12,128
Hey guys.
265
00:16:14,857 --> 00:16:15,914
Isn't it my shift ?
266
00:16:18,489 --> 00:16:20,334
You're the little shit
who smashed my muffin.
267
00:16:22,102 --> 00:16:23,101
Forgive me ?
268
00:16:25,061 --> 00:16:26,194
If you would go, I would
269
00:16:26,195 --> 00:16:27,914
I would kill you, I would kill you !
270
00:16:28,135 --> 00:16:30,056
I will kill you, you son of a bitch.
271
00:16:31,882 --> 00:16:32,939
All right, now you're dead.
272
00:16:32,940 --> 00:16:35,149
Now you are fucking dead, Doug Wilson.
273
00:16:35,573 --> 00:16:37,341
I have no respect for you.
274
00:16:37,476 --> 00:16:38,513
Personnally.
275
00:16:39,436 --> 00:16:41,300
But I always though you were cute.
276
00:16:42,625 --> 00:16:44,239
And I'm a single now.
277
00:16:55,479 --> 00:16:57,900
By the way, have you seen your nephew ?
278
00:17:00,475 --> 00:17:01,474
Never mind.
279
00:17:01,475 --> 00:17:02,627
So looks good.
280
00:17:04,452 --> 00:17:05,452
I'll be in touch.
281
00:17:19,335 --> 00:17:22,302
Get the fuck out of my way.
282
00:17:22,886 --> 00:17:25,776
Jesus, people are so rude in the south.
283
00:17:27,790 --> 00:17:28,789
Well, that's it.
284
00:17:29,266 --> 00:17:30,065
Yeah ?
285
00:17:30,066 --> 00:17:31,295
Yep. We are broken up.
286
00:17:32,201 --> 00:17:33,246
Sorry kid.
287
00:17:33,646 --> 00:17:35,522
He's a heart breaker.
288
00:17:37,351 --> 00:17:39,671
Yeah well, maybe they deserve each other.
289
00:17:39,672 --> 00:17:40,686
Who ?
290
00:17:40,964 --> 00:17:42,808
Shane and Kat.
291
00:17:43,223 --> 00:17:44,284
You know, well,
292
00:17:45,145 --> 00:17:46,128
she's gone.
293
00:17:46,129 --> 00:17:48,296
I know. They left together.
294
00:17:49,589 --> 00:17:50,678
They left.. sh..
295
00:17:51,093 --> 00:17:52,169
Shit ! When ?
296
00:17:52,170 --> 00:17:53,475
Few minutes ago.
297
00:17:53,476 --> 00:17:55,013
The two of them took off.
298
00:18:00,564 --> 00:18:01,594
Yo motherfuckers.
299
00:18:01,686 --> 00:18:02,685
Anybody home ?
300
00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:04,561
Big bad wolf coming here.
301
00:18:04,623 --> 00:18:05,622
I'll be waiting in my truck.
302
00:18:05,623 --> 00:18:06,852
Motherfucker !
303
00:18:07,790 --> 00:18:09,081
You out too.
304
00:18:10,173 --> 00:18:11,211
No, within !
305
00:18:11,219 --> 00:18:12,571
Somebody's got to answer to the door.
306
00:18:13,017 --> 00:18:14,063
Hold on !
307
00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:20,319
Okay.
308
00:18:20,488 --> 00:18:21,533
Just wait here.
309
00:18:25,913 --> 00:18:27,973
Don't come out of here, no matter what.
310
00:18:28,327 --> 00:18:29,664
Don't come out.
311
00:18:30,075 --> 00:18:31,919
Okay. Okay.
312
00:18:37,598 --> 00:18:38,607
Oh hey.
313
00:18:38,965 --> 00:18:39,980
It's about time.
314
00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:41,855
I was just about to huff and puff.
315
00:18:50,311 --> 00:18:51,894
Some nice set-up you got here.
316
00:18:52,616 --> 00:18:53,692
Now take off your shirt.
317
00:18:55,675 --> 00:18:57,505
- What ?
- Take off your fucking shirt.
318
00:18:57,843 --> 00:18:59,552
Marvin, check Conrad for a wire, she's ..
319
00:18:59,553 --> 00:19:00,942
Hold on dog, that's bullshit.
320
00:19:00,943 --> 00:19:02,296
It's called due diligent.
321
00:19:03,114 --> 00:19:05,217
Are you going to due to diligent, or am I ?
322
00:19:06,862 --> 00:19:09,030
It's diligence.
323
00:19:11,213 --> 00:19:12,307
These are nice titties.
324
00:19:13,205 --> 00:19:14,755
Okay, I've shown you mine.
325
00:19:15,628 --> 00:19:16,674
Now show me yours.
326
00:19:16,675 --> 00:19:18,149
In a minute, I got to pee.
327
00:19:18,568 --> 00:19:19,650
Where's your fucking toilet ?
328
00:19:24,285 --> 00:19:26,831
Doing that maple lemonade flushes you out
329
00:19:27,433 --> 00:19:29,868
Pees more than my cousin Juan
who only got one kidney.
330
00:19:31,098 --> 00:19:32,119
Poor Juan.
331
00:19:35,850 --> 00:19:38,724
We are gonna have the best adventure.
332
00:19:39,324 --> 00:19:41,430
Thanks for keeping me company Shane.
333
00:19:42,351 --> 00:19:43,470
Cactus Cooler ?
334
00:19:46,779 --> 00:19:48,040
Where are we going ?
335
00:19:48,041 --> 00:19:49,300
Where do you wanna go ?
336
00:19:51,037 --> 00:19:52,728
- Pittsburgh
- Okay
337
00:19:53,629 --> 00:19:55,740
But we have to make a quick stop
in Paraguay first.
338
00:19:56,002 --> 00:19:57,032
Cool.
339
00:20:01,350 --> 00:20:03,195
Tastes like baby aspirin.
340
00:20:09,036 --> 00:20:10,358
Step on it Geronimo.
341
00:20:10,628 --> 00:20:12,341
You watch that shit man.
342
00:20:20,176 --> 00:20:21,231
Yes ?
343
00:20:22,775 --> 00:20:24,005
No no no no no no no
344
00:20:24,485 --> 00:20:25,984
Go go go, come on.
345
00:20:25,985 --> 00:20:27,694
Kashishian says good bye.
346
00:20:50,017 --> 00:20:51,483
I have been on this flush.
347
00:20:51,887 --> 00:20:52,905
Yeah huh.
348
00:20:53,674 --> 00:20:54,750
Maple lemonade.
349
00:20:56,556 --> 00:20:57,921
My kid's graduating,
350
00:20:58,055 --> 00:20:59,746
so hum, could we just
351
00:21:00,246 --> 00:21:01,245
get through this ?
352
00:21:01,246 --> 00:21:04,031
You give us the money, we give you the drugs,
everybody ..
353
00:21:04,550 --> 00:21:05,415
goes away.
354
00:21:05,416 --> 00:21:07,452
You don't see the cash until I see the weed.
355
00:21:07,453 --> 00:21:08,855
Marvin, help me with this.
356
00:21:09,009 --> 00:21:10,239
No hey.
357
00:21:12,910 --> 00:21:13,909
Open up.
358
00:21:14,370 --> 00:21:17,387
No. You don't see the weed
till I see the cash.
359
00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:19,578
You know what ?
360
00:21:20,269 --> 00:21:21,653
You're almost right about that.
361
00:21:24,789 --> 00:21:25,999
What the fuck !
362
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,536
Yeah, now give us the drugs,
and we'll let you live.
363
00:21:28,728 --> 00:21:29,709
Open it up.
364
00:21:31,342 --> 00:21:32,783
But where's the money ?
365
00:21:32,784 --> 00:21:34,109
Ain't no money fool !
366
00:21:34,397 --> 00:21:35,646
I'm a fucking criminal !
367
00:21:36,069 --> 00:21:39,029
Now, open up the safe or
I shoot both you.
368
00:21:39,030 --> 00:21:42,122
I hear you, you're a wonderful criminal.
369
00:21:42,123 --> 00:21:43,139
Bitch !
370
00:21:44,254 --> 00:21:45,618
What the hell are you thinking Dog ?
371
00:21:45,829 --> 00:21:47,040
I'm thinking you ain't got no army.
372
00:21:47,328 --> 00:21:48,442
Oh shiiit.
373
00:21:48,596 --> 00:21:50,402
And right now, business is business.
374
00:21:51,233 --> 00:21:52,751
Wow hey hey hey, what the fuck !
375
00:21:52,752 --> 00:21:54,346
Son of a bitch.
376
00:21:54,634 --> 00:21:55,634
Where is the money ?
377
00:21:56,384 --> 00:21:58,958
The nigger there, he says I kill agent asshole,
You pay us.
378
00:22:01,370 --> 00:22:02,427
Huh he's dead ?
379
00:22:05,853 --> 00:22:07,577
Where is my money, Conrad ?
380
00:22:09,089 --> 00:22:10,913
We've mete out like a little problem.
381
00:22:11,619 --> 00:22:13,966
Ain't no money cause they decided to hijack us.
382
00:22:15,407 --> 00:22:17,471
Son of a bitch, mother fucker !
383
00:22:18,432 --> 00:22:20,269
Fine, fine. We take the pot.
384
00:22:22,135 --> 00:22:23,548
No way, that's my shit.
385
00:22:23,549 --> 00:22:25,866
Why ? You kill federal agent ?
386
00:22:25,951 --> 00:22:27,449
Me killing all you.
387
00:22:29,060 --> 00:22:30,305
We all got guns.
388
00:22:30,306 --> 00:22:32,877
- Excuse me
- We kill each other, then nobody gets nothing.
389
00:22:34,347 --> 00:22:35,732
He's.. he's dead ?
390
00:22:35,987 --> 00:22:37,824
Hum, Peter ?
391
00:22:37,825 --> 00:22:38,871
Yes !
392
00:22:38,872 --> 00:22:40,821
Hey ok, sorry. There's a lot of
393
00:22:41,245 --> 00:22:42,687
data flying around.
394
00:22:42,772 --> 00:22:45,683
Somebody open the fucking safe !
395
00:22:45,684 --> 00:22:47,322
- You got ...
- Shut the fuck up !
396
00:22:47,323 --> 00:22:49,160
Open the fucking safe !
397
00:22:50,658 --> 00:22:51,704
Nancy.
398
00:22:51,958 --> 00:22:53,315
Open the fucking safe !
399
00:22:53,316 --> 00:22:54,333
Okay !
400
00:23:05,979 --> 00:23:07,986
Oh not today.
401
00:23:08,748 --> 00:23:10,105
Ain't no motherfucker weed here.
402
00:23:10,106 --> 00:23:12,282
Where the fuck is the shit.
403
00:23:15,703 --> 00:23:17,371
Relax everybody.
404
00:23:19,773 --> 00:23:20,989
All right, hum.
405
00:23:23,412 --> 00:23:25,141
I'm reaching for my cell phone.
406
00:23:26,140 --> 00:23:27,140
Hold on.
407
00:23:38,207 --> 00:23:39,437
It's ringing.
408
00:23:44,856 --> 00:23:46,336
Hi Nancy.
409
00:23:51,216 --> 00:23:53,522
Did you take something that doesn't belong to you ?
410
00:23:54,251 --> 00:23:55,250
I want in.
411
00:24:00,900 --> 00:24:01,919
That's him.
412
00:24:02,380 --> 00:24:04,743
That's the little fucker
who stole my cameras.
413
00:24:05,475 --> 00:24:06,474
Arrest him !
414
00:24:07,896 --> 00:24:08,895
Shit.
415
00:24:29,887 --> 00:24:32,374
Transcript: Greendies, LeChuck
416
00:24:32,714 --> 00:24:33,816
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