1 00:00:00,358 --> 00:00:01,689 Previously on Weeds... 2 00:00:01,828 --> 00:00:03,877 - Uncle Andy! - Hey! 3 00:00:04,015 --> 00:00:05,442 How long are you planning on staying? 4 00:00:05,487 --> 00:00:07,200 Just till I figure some things out. 5 00:00:07,293 --> 00:00:07,904 Like? 6 00:00:08,092 --> 00:00:09,038 My life. 7 00:00:09,131 --> 00:00:11,992 Just IMing my girlfriend. She's deaf. 8 00:00:12,085 --> 00:00:13,894 This girl sounds like a keeper, Silas. 9 00:00:13,988 --> 00:00:15,030 Don't mess it up. 10 00:00:15,546 --> 00:00:17,200 You know I read somewhere that 11 00:00:17,252 --> 00:00:21,265 killing small animals is the first sign of psychotic behavior. 12 00:00:21,599 --> 00:00:22,393 Leave your car. 13 00:00:22,483 --> 00:00:24,054 How am I gonna get home? 14 00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:25,431 Take Conrad's bucket. 15 00:00:25,527 --> 00:00:27,091 White lady in the hooptie? 16 00:00:27,145 --> 00:00:29,041 You gotta let me get a picture. 17 00:00:29,186 --> 00:00:30,422 It's a classic car. 18 00:00:30,566 --> 00:00:32,130 I went at my old friend Conrad's 19 00:00:32,315 --> 00:00:37,473 and imagine my surprise when I was handed a giant bag of weed for you. 20 00:00:45,046 --> 00:00:47,262 I have cancer. 21 00:01:57,907 --> 00:02:01,381 Shiiiit! 22 00:02:05,465 --> 00:02:06,553 My name is Shane. 23 00:02:06,695 --> 00:02:09,791 I bring the pain up from the streets of Agrestic. 24 00:02:10,076 --> 00:02:11,980 Bitch! You don't wanna sweat this. 25 00:02:12,115 --> 00:02:14,120 I'll cap any motherfucker. 26 00:02:14,226 --> 00:02:15,782 You don't wanna test this. 27 00:02:15,876 --> 00:02:17,782 - Bee... - Be-atch! 28 00:02:18,526 --> 00:02:19,851 I've got rage in me. 29 00:02:19,958 --> 00:02:21,610 This is my way of venting. 30 00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:24,281 Well, you made a lot of people in the school very nervous. 31 00:02:24,426 --> 00:02:27,662 Yeah, that's because they're a bunch of bitch ass white boys! 32 00:02:27,755 --> 00:02:28,892 I hate to break it to you but 33 00:02:28,996 --> 00:02:30,990 you're also a bitch ass white boy. 34 00:02:31,508 --> 00:02:32,592 Whatever. 35 00:02:32,877 --> 00:02:33,961 I don't care. 36 00:02:34,057 --> 00:02:35,910 I think you do care a great deal. 37 00:02:36,008 --> 00:02:36,620 Yeah? 38 00:02:36,807 --> 00:02:37,613 About what? 39 00:02:37,706 --> 00:02:39,360 You want approval from your peer group 40 00:02:39,506 --> 00:02:40,500 and when you don't get it, 41 00:02:40,646 --> 00:02:42,022 when they call you weirdo 42 00:02:42,168 --> 00:02:43,581 or strange Botwin, 43 00:02:43,817 --> 00:02:45,343 then you wanna lash out. 44 00:02:45,488 --> 00:02:47,671 In this case, through your rap. 45 00:02:48,188 --> 00:02:49,413 Yeah. 46 00:02:49,935 --> 00:02:51,073 That's it. 47 00:02:51,307 --> 00:02:53,302 I just wanna fit in. 48 00:02:53,586 --> 00:02:54,570 Can I go now? 49 00:02:54,626 --> 00:02:56,672 Shane, you're here because there's some concern 50 00:02:57,186 --> 00:02:59,371 that you might act on these emotions. 51 00:02:59,527 --> 00:03:01,561 I'm not gonna cap any motherfuckers. 52 00:03:02,127 --> 00:03:04,080 How do I know that? 53 00:03:04,737 --> 00:03:08,362 'cause my therapist says I'm just acting out because my dad's dead. 54 00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:10,010 You may go. 55 00:03:11,937 --> 00:03:13,742 These walls were just wallpapered. 56 00:03:13,845 --> 00:03:15,020 The paper looks old. 57 00:03:15,165 --> 00:03:17,352 Yeah, well, that was the look we were going for. 58 00:03:18,017 --> 00:03:20,061 With all due respect, sir, 59 00:03:20,155 --> 00:03:22,681 this is not the first time that a crate of carbonated beverages 60 00:03:22,776 --> 00:03:25,541 fell from a low flying Cessna and devastated a house. 61 00:03:25,637 --> 00:03:26,381 You're kidding? 62 00:03:29,196 --> 00:03:31,770 Is this a bad time? 63 00:03:31,868 --> 00:03:34,243 No, it's just her faith healer. 64 00:03:34,388 --> 00:03:36,243 Well, okay then. Look at this bed! 65 00:03:36,438 --> 00:03:39,243 I mean, it's an antique, a family heirloom. 66 00:03:39,338 --> 00:03:41,413 My children were conceived on this bed. 67 00:03:41,508 --> 00:03:42,932 It's got a lot of history. 68 00:03:43,218 --> 00:03:45,590 Could I trouble you for a drink? 69 00:03:45,736 --> 00:03:46,630 Yeah. 70 00:03:51,558 --> 00:03:52,592 Stand up. 71 00:04:04,687 --> 00:04:05,873 Wow! 72 00:04:06,385 --> 00:04:07,471 Hey Nanc'! 73 00:04:07,666 --> 00:04:09,612 This is Herma, the faith healer. 74 00:04:09,758 --> 00:04:11,082 She's sniffing me 75 00:04:11,228 --> 00:04:13,412 to see if my cancer has spread. 76 00:04:13,557 --> 00:04:14,343 Hi! 77 00:04:14,435 --> 00:04:16,431 Would you like me to smell you next? 78 00:04:16,605 --> 00:04:19,893 No, thank you, I was smelled yesterday. 79 00:04:20,035 --> 00:04:23,323 That was not my idea. The PTA ladies sent her over. 80 00:04:23,566 --> 00:04:26,222 Personally I would have preferred one of those cookies 81 00:04:26,327 --> 00:04:27,312 on a stick. 82 00:04:28,117 --> 00:04:29,772 Perhaps you are not ready. 83 00:04:30,198 --> 00:04:31,381 I should leave. 84 00:04:34,147 --> 00:04:36,720 Well, namasté. 85 00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:38,050 This place is a wreck. 86 00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:38,803 Yeah. 87 00:04:39,368 --> 00:04:41,742 You see what consumer culture has done to me? 88 00:04:41,796 --> 00:04:42,742 How are you holding up? 89 00:04:42,836 --> 00:04:44,350 Better than my ceiling. 90 00:04:44,495 --> 00:04:46,871 I was toying with a Snapple motif 91 00:04:47,015 --> 00:04:49,303 but God said Coke! 92 00:04:49,448 --> 00:04:51,440 Ms. Celia, I come for dry-clean. 93 00:04:51,538 --> 00:04:54,151 I really don't feel like sorting through those clothes. 94 00:04:54,576 --> 00:04:55,570 You know what Blanca? 95 00:04:56,048 --> 00:04:56,982 You take it. 96 00:04:57,087 --> 00:04:58,742 Okay, I go to dry-clean. 97 00:04:58,835 --> 00:05:02,111 No, no, I want you to take all the clothes. 98 00:05:02,627 --> 00:05:04,811 Go ahead! Take them. Rapido! 99 00:05:05,527 --> 00:05:06,613 I cannot take. 100 00:05:06,745 --> 00:05:08,701 You must know somebody in my size! 101 00:05:08,848 --> 00:05:11,122 Aren't there like 18 people living in your house? 102 00:05:14,266 --> 00:05:17,070 Coming up next in the Raw Skin channel: 103 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,641 The Incredahoes. 104 00:05:19,298 --> 00:05:21,003 Incredahoes! 105 00:05:25,557 --> 00:05:26,643 Fuck! 106 00:05:28,935 --> 00:05:29,641 Hey, Doug! 107 00:05:29,737 --> 00:05:30,453 Hey, Randy! 108 00:05:30,727 --> 00:05:32,201 Andy. It's Andy. 109 00:05:32,337 --> 00:05:33,313 Oh really? I thought... 110 00:05:33,405 --> 00:05:34,213 It's not Randy? 111 00:05:35,105 --> 00:05:35,671 Oh. 112 00:05:36,327 --> 00:05:37,792 I've always thought of you as a Randy. 113 00:05:38,078 --> 00:05:38,970 Pretty sure. 114 00:05:39,148 --> 00:05:41,282 Wow! Okay. 115 00:05:43,437 --> 00:05:44,481 Looking for Nancy? 116 00:05:44,667 --> 00:05:45,901 Yeah, I am. Is she around? 117 00:05:46,045 --> 00:05:46,791 Nope. 118 00:05:48,456 --> 00:05:50,072 You could try her cell phone. 119 00:05:50,446 --> 00:05:53,530 Oh no, no, no. She needs to sign some stuff, papers and things, you know. 120 00:05:53,628 --> 00:05:54,142 Do you... 121 00:05:55,918 --> 00:05:57,480 You're watching Incredahoes? 122 00:05:58,197 --> 00:05:59,042 Yeah. 123 00:05:59,555 --> 00:06:00,353 That's good. 124 00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,971 I started it 7 or 8 times. I've never seen the whole thing. 125 00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:04,863 That's a strong endorsement. 126 00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:05,843 Yeah. Oh... 127 00:06:07,626 --> 00:06:09,673 I don't suppose you'd let me watch with you, would you? 128 00:06:09,765 --> 00:06:11,130 It'd be kinda weird. 129 00:06:11,888 --> 00:06:13,893 Yeah, I guess you're right. 130 00:06:14,027 --> 00:06:14,973 Well, enjoy. 131 00:06:15,096 --> 00:06:16,460 Orgasmagirl is a squirter. 132 00:06:16,548 --> 00:06:18,022 Hey! Hey! Hey! Spoiler! 133 00:06:18,118 --> 00:06:19,780 Alright. Sorry. 134 00:06:20,576 --> 00:06:22,472 You know I got about an eighth of romulan on me. 135 00:06:22,597 --> 00:06:23,200 - Come in! - Alright. 136 00:06:23,306 --> 00:06:27,641 What happened to you last night? 137 00:06:27,746 --> 00:06:29,640 What do you mean? I was with Megan. 138 00:06:29,977 --> 00:06:31,201 When are you gonna get over that? 139 00:06:31,677 --> 00:06:32,523 Excuse me? 140 00:06:32,757 --> 00:06:33,993 Come on, man, you're in your prime. 141 00:06:34,035 --> 00:06:35,893 You really wanna tie yourself down to the deaf girl? 142 00:06:36,036 --> 00:06:37,072 She's actually pretty cool. 143 00:06:37,775 --> 00:06:38,630 Did you fuck her yet? 144 00:06:38,952 --> 00:06:40,235 Come on, man! 145 00:06:40,339 --> 00:06:41,133 Think about it! 146 00:06:41,233 --> 00:06:42,944 You're always gonna have to read television. 147 00:06:43,176 --> 00:06:45,450 If you've passed out drunk and your house catches on fire, 148 00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:47,070 she's not gonna hear the smoke alarm. 149 00:06:47,165 --> 00:06:48,503 And you're both gonna die. 150 00:06:49,017 --> 00:06:51,401 Last night, while you weren't fucking deaf girl, 151 00:06:51,488 --> 00:06:52,670 you missed Tiffany's party. 152 00:06:52,768 --> 00:06:54,230 Jessica, Lauren, Chelsea! 153 00:06:54,338 --> 00:06:55,132 They were all there. 154 00:06:55,227 --> 00:06:57,853 Hot, ready, they can hear. 155 00:06:58,138 --> 00:06:59,312 And one of them is into you. 156 00:06:59,597 --> 00:07:00,921 Which one? 157 00:07:01,117 --> 00:07:02,351 Chelsea. 158 00:07:02,767 --> 00:07:03,593 You're such a liar. 159 00:07:03,696 --> 00:07:06,123 No, man, I'm serious. You need to dump the damaged goods 160 00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:07,780 and see what's up with Chelsea. 161 00:07:15,808 --> 00:07:19,532 Oh my God! I forgot about these! 162 00:07:20,478 --> 00:07:22,660 These baby clothes are new. 163 00:07:23,037 --> 00:07:24,463 - Were you...? - I had a miscarriage. 164 00:07:24,608 --> 00:07:26,361 - Last year. - Oh... I'm sorry. 165 00:07:26,455 --> 00:07:27,013 Don't be. 166 00:07:27,115 --> 00:07:29,641 With my track record, it was a blessing. Trust me. 167 00:07:29,778 --> 00:07:31,290 Blanca, do you need baby clothes? 168 00:07:31,396 --> 00:07:33,630 I know someone who could use them. 169 00:07:33,778 --> 00:07:35,672 Mrs. Celia, give clothes to me you don't need. 170 00:07:35,766 --> 00:07:37,571 No, I know someone who needs them. 171 00:07:37,806 --> 00:07:39,562 Please, let go! 172 00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:41,230 Blanca, let her have them. 173 00:07:43,266 --> 00:07:46,120 Don't worry, I have something better for you. 174 00:07:48,237 --> 00:07:49,041 This? 175 00:07:50,215 --> 00:07:51,871 Oh my God! 176 00:07:53,325 --> 00:07:55,901 I haven't seen these since high school. 177 00:07:56,275 --> 00:07:58,891 Oh God, I used to be so hot! 178 00:07:58,986 --> 00:08:00,031 My feathered hair, 179 00:08:00,786 --> 00:08:02,732 satin hot pants on, 180 00:08:02,918 --> 00:08:06,111 high on 'ludes, quid of the roller disco. 181 00:08:06,306 --> 00:08:08,921 I could fuck against a wall with my skates on, 182 00:08:09,018 --> 00:08:10,083 no easy feet. 183 00:08:10,888 --> 00:08:13,222 I could come in a heartbeat. 184 00:08:13,358 --> 00:08:14,490 Then you keep? 185 00:08:14,668 --> 00:08:16,182 Oh yeah, I keep. 186 00:08:17,585 --> 00:08:18,682 So, Blanca, 187 00:08:18,825 --> 00:08:20,813 How are you set for furniture? 188 00:08:23,918 --> 00:08:24,821 Runway? 189 00:08:25,388 --> 00:08:28,231 You know, that little piece of skin between your asshole and your balls. 190 00:08:28,377 --> 00:08:29,413 Or asshole and vagina. 191 00:08:29,505 --> 00:08:30,533 That's called the runway. 192 00:08:30,675 --> 00:08:34,251 That's called the taint. Taint ass. Taint equipment. 193 00:08:35,467 --> 00:08:37,032 What the hell does that mean? 194 00:08:37,798 --> 00:08:40,740 No, I think runway is much more of a visual description. 195 00:08:40,975 --> 00:08:42,633 This is a taint! 196 00:08:42,925 --> 00:08:43,673 Runway! 197 00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:45,140 This is a taint! 198 00:08:45,986 --> 00:08:46,692 Runway! 199 00:08:46,788 --> 00:08:47,730 Hey, Lupita! 200 00:08:48,857 --> 00:08:50,131 Settle an argument for us. 201 00:08:50,518 --> 00:08:52,990 What do you call the thing between the dick and the asshole? 202 00:08:53,118 --> 00:08:54,813 The coffee table. 203 00:09:05,318 --> 00:09:07,213 I'm telling you, they could have been killed. 204 00:09:07,357 --> 00:09:09,741 When bottles fall from the sky like that, it's like 205 00:09:09,927 --> 00:09:11,503 little torpedoes. 206 00:09:12,025 --> 00:09:13,431 And they were everywhere. 207 00:09:13,677 --> 00:09:16,202 Coke in the carpet. They were stuck in the walls. 208 00:09:16,288 --> 00:09:18,672 Furniture was destroyed. It was a mess! 209 00:09:18,826 --> 00:09:21,912 Ah please! That white girl will make out like Halliburton. 210 00:09:22,058 --> 00:09:23,282 How much you want for this stuff? 211 00:09:23,428 --> 00:09:25,850 No, nothing. She was giving it away anyway so... 212 00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:30,293 What? Like I'm some charity case that needs your free white lady hand-me-downs. 213 00:09:30,425 --> 00:09:31,903 No! I thought... 214 00:09:32,045 --> 00:09:34,993 You ain't got no problem going down at the church and getting free cheese and shit. 215 00:09:35,138 --> 00:09:36,600 Heylia makes me go down there. 216 00:09:36,748 --> 00:09:39,500 First of all, I don't make you do shit, little girl. 217 00:09:39,636 --> 00:09:41,532 And second of all, I ain't shame. 218 00:09:41,638 --> 00:09:42,812 If it's free, it's me. 219 00:09:42,966 --> 00:09:45,341 And I don't turn down nothing but my color. 220 00:09:45,435 --> 00:09:47,380 And girl, don't act like you don't like free cheese 221 00:09:47,526 --> 00:09:49,092 just 'cause this white child's standing there. 222 00:09:49,188 --> 00:09:49,942 Fuck her! 223 00:09:50,035 --> 00:09:52,093 Yeah... fuck me! 224 00:09:52,227 --> 00:09:55,173 I mean, I'll take them since you brought them. 225 00:09:55,417 --> 00:09:56,932 This for you, Snowflake. 226 00:09:57,128 --> 00:09:59,590 This my special blend I call it "Let's hear Clark Kent". 227 00:09:59,735 --> 00:10:01,680 Just sniff this way, you'll see. 228 00:10:03,355 --> 00:10:04,393 This thing good, huh? 229 00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:06,563 You smoke this shit and you wanna just 230 00:10:06,635 --> 00:10:09,820 rip your clothes off in a phone booth and fight crime. 231 00:10:09,915 --> 00:10:11,151 I'm serious. Take that. 232 00:10:11,665 --> 00:10:13,671 Let's get the brother's keys. You could roll. 233 00:10:14,048 --> 00:10:15,572 Whoo! It's a big day! 234 00:10:15,798 --> 00:10:17,691 Bobby getting her dream car back. 235 00:10:17,897 --> 00:10:21,941 I added a little twist to it for you, I think you're gonna like it too. 236 00:10:22,125 --> 00:10:23,453 - Alright? - Okay. 237 00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:27,652 Conrad, I just wanted to talk to you about one thing. 238 00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:29,473 This morning, I was in the garage. 239 00:10:29,605 --> 00:10:30,113 Okay, just... 240 00:10:30,257 --> 00:10:32,453 - What the fuck happened to my car? - No, no, no, no. 241 00:10:32,545 --> 00:10:34,973 A trunk fell on the hood. 242 00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:36,680 A trunk? A trunk fell on my baby? 243 00:10:39,788 --> 00:10:41,312 ...that, it would be fine. 244 00:10:41,418 --> 00:10:42,452 Oh really? So you gonna do it? 245 00:10:42,596 --> 00:10:43,771 No, but you're gonna pay for it? 246 00:10:43,888 --> 00:10:45,053 - I'm gonna pay for it. - I know you're gonna pay for it. 247 00:10:45,158 --> 00:10:47,193 Of course, I'm gonna pay for it. I just said I was gonna pay for it. 248 00:10:47,248 --> 00:10:47,950 Baby, I heard what you said. 249 00:10:48,046 --> 00:10:49,270 Hey! 250 00:10:49,356 --> 00:10:50,543 Stop all that damn arguing! 251 00:10:50,688 --> 00:10:52,071 This is a house of peace. 252 00:11:05,326 --> 00:11:06,792 Everybody, alright? 253 00:11:07,356 --> 00:11:07,961 Yeah. 254 00:11:08,245 --> 00:11:08,812 I'm cool. 255 00:11:09,987 --> 00:11:10,783 Snowflake? 256 00:11:12,147 --> 00:11:12,891 Snowflake? 257 00:11:13,855 --> 00:11:15,303 She's in shock. Slap her! 258 00:11:15,968 --> 00:11:17,240 I ain't slapping no white woman. 259 00:11:17,388 --> 00:11:18,421 Move! I'll do it. 260 00:11:18,895 --> 00:11:20,063 I'm okay. 261 00:11:20,157 --> 00:11:21,591 - You're sure? - Yeah. 262 00:11:22,065 --> 00:11:22,623 Yeah. 263 00:11:24,787 --> 00:11:27,121 Alright, let's clean this shit up. 264 00:11:37,286 --> 00:11:39,783 Somebody doesn't call the police? 265 00:11:40,888 --> 00:11:43,091 Baby, that probably was the police. 266 00:11:48,796 --> 00:11:50,031 I'm gonna go. 267 00:11:55,428 --> 00:11:57,192 So wait, I need my keys. 268 00:11:57,616 --> 00:11:58,592 I need my keys. 269 00:11:58,735 --> 00:12:00,922 We got unsettled business. You haven't even talked to me about my car yet. 270 00:12:01,026 --> 00:12:02,211 How you're gonna get your keys back? 271 00:12:02,286 --> 00:12:02,663 Boy! 272 00:12:02,757 --> 00:12:04,410 The girl just had her shooting cherry broke. 273 00:12:04,556 --> 00:12:05,640 Give her the keys. 274 00:12:08,836 --> 00:12:09,970 We still gotta talk though. 275 00:12:10,068 --> 00:12:11,020 Yeah, okay. 276 00:12:11,578 --> 00:12:12,240 Shit... 277 00:12:12,327 --> 00:12:16,242 White folks get soda pop, niggers get bullets. 278 00:13:03,287 --> 00:13:04,331 Hey! 279 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:05,873 Doug left these papers for the bakery. 280 00:13:06,015 --> 00:13:09,831 He says when you sign on the line, it is all ours. 281 00:13:09,928 --> 00:13:10,601 Ours? 282 00:13:10,635 --> 00:13:12,470 Yes! I cook, you sell. 283 00:13:12,565 --> 00:13:14,610 Come on, Nanc'! I don't mind you being out there in front. 284 00:13:14,705 --> 00:13:17,131 I'm totally liberated. It's me and you, babe! 285 00:13:17,275 --> 00:13:18,441 Team Botwin. 286 00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:19,622 Please, leave. 287 00:13:19,726 --> 00:13:21,380 I will just as soon as you sign these papers. 288 00:13:21,495 --> 00:13:23,253 There's no water in this tub! 289 00:13:23,398 --> 00:13:24,942 I can't do this right now. 290 00:13:25,046 --> 00:13:25,860 You have to! 291 00:13:25,936 --> 00:13:28,131 Doug says if you don't hurry, they're gonna put a vitamin store in there. 292 00:13:28,227 --> 00:13:29,403 And this town does not need 293 00:13:29,505 --> 00:13:30,833 more ginkgo biloba. 294 00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:33,302 It needs pot brownies. Come on, sign! 295 00:13:33,405 --> 00:13:35,920 Andy, today it was brought to my attention 296 00:13:36,027 --> 00:13:38,510 that the downside of this business is death. 297 00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:42,162 So, right now, I'm not thinking about the bakery. 298 00:13:42,265 --> 00:13:44,793 I'm thinking about enrolling in dental hygiene school 299 00:13:44,885 --> 00:13:46,701 so my children aren't orphans. 300 00:13:47,017 --> 00:13:51,743 If anything happens to you, I will raise Silas and Shane as my own. 301 00:13:52,856 --> 00:13:55,461 Now I pledge never to die. 302 00:13:55,606 --> 00:13:57,411 We're gonna have to get a longer lease. 303 00:13:57,835 --> 00:14:00,511 Andy, this is my business. This has nothing to do with you. 304 00:14:01,676 --> 00:14:03,881 Go downstairs. Do what you do best: 305 00:14:03,956 --> 00:14:05,762 control the cash in your underwear. 306 00:14:05,867 --> 00:14:06,393 Look, 307 00:14:06,537 --> 00:14:07,273 this is different. 308 00:14:07,416 --> 00:14:10,721 This is my moment. I was born to cook drugs. 309 00:14:10,868 --> 00:14:13,461 Since you started the business, I will settle for only 40%. 310 00:14:13,518 --> 00:14:16,423 That is so fair! God! I can feel it in my body. 311 00:14:16,517 --> 00:14:19,561 I can feel it in my bones! Feel my hands! They're vibrating! 312 00:14:19,647 --> 00:14:21,611 Feel 'em in the living room. I said now! 313 00:14:21,688 --> 00:14:22,392 Why? 314 00:14:22,498 --> 00:14:23,923 Andy, if you wanna sell drugs, 315 00:14:24,067 --> 00:14:25,240 do it on your own. 316 00:14:25,336 --> 00:14:26,612 Get your own bakery. 317 00:14:26,715 --> 00:14:27,762 Find you own customers. 318 00:14:27,846 --> 00:14:29,842 Get the fuck out of my bathroom! 319 00:14:32,237 --> 00:14:33,481 Yeah, fine. 320 00:14:35,906 --> 00:14:36,481 Fine. 321 00:14:45,566 --> 00:14:49,761 Megan89: Meet me at the library. I want to show you something. 322 00:14:49,907 --> 00:14:52,182 Silbot: Can't. 323 00:14:53,557 --> 00:14:56,840 Megan89: Why? 324 00:14:57,586 --> 00:15:00,833 Silbot: I can't be tied down. 325 00:15:04,937 --> 00:15:09,371 Silbot: I need space. 326 00:15:11,467 --> 00:15:15,340 Megan89: Fuck you. 327 00:15:17,245 --> 00:15:21,152 I love the fact that everyone put her best foot or food 328 00:15:21,276 --> 00:15:24,153 forward in making our bake sales the greatest ever. 329 00:15:27,437 --> 00:15:29,152 Oh my God! Look at Celia. 330 00:15:29,195 --> 00:15:30,442 What's she wearing? 331 00:15:30,528 --> 00:15:31,990 Look who's here everyone! It's Celia! 332 00:15:32,436 --> 00:15:35,182 Down, Maggie. I have cancer, I'm not retarded. 333 00:15:35,606 --> 00:15:36,640 Of course. 334 00:15:37,067 --> 00:15:39,161 Would you like to take your place at the podium? 335 00:15:39,257 --> 00:15:41,163 No, please. Keep going. 336 00:15:41,397 --> 00:15:43,583 PTA needs your enthusiasm. 337 00:15:47,968 --> 00:15:49,693 Foxy Lady? 338 00:15:49,785 --> 00:15:50,682 I was! 339 00:15:50,797 --> 00:15:52,631 I was Hot Stuff, red satin. 340 00:15:53,477 --> 00:15:58,740 I was Big Fun, green polyester. 341 00:15:58,825 --> 00:15:59,580 Celia! 342 00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:01,002 You can't smoke in here. 343 00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:02,390 Because? 344 00:16:02,467 --> 00:16:04,052 Second-hand smoke kills. 345 00:16:04,735 --> 00:16:07,262 Celia, did you bring your muffins? 346 00:16:07,517 --> 00:16:09,013 I didn't fell like baking. 347 00:16:09,155 --> 00:16:11,391 None of us ever feels like baking. 348 00:16:11,545 --> 00:16:12,741 I love baking! 349 00:16:12,908 --> 00:16:14,193 Except Pam. 350 00:16:14,296 --> 00:16:17,282 But we do it anyway for the sake of our children. 351 00:16:17,338 --> 00:16:18,582 Oh give me a break! 352 00:16:18,617 --> 00:16:20,660 You're raising money for a swim team. 353 00:16:20,817 --> 00:16:22,932 How much do swimming trunks cost anyway? 354 00:16:23,027 --> 00:16:24,883 $18,95. 355 00:16:25,955 --> 00:16:27,473 I'll tell you what... 356 00:16:29,746 --> 00:16:31,161 Keep the change. 357 00:16:31,316 --> 00:16:34,292 So, we really not getting the muffin, are we? 358 00:16:34,387 --> 00:16:36,001 I have in my hands 359 00:16:36,147 --> 00:16:39,780 the last pharmaceutical Quaalude on Earth. 360 00:16:42,366 --> 00:16:43,960 See you, ladies. 361 00:16:44,167 --> 00:16:47,732 Down, Pammy. Down. 362 00:16:52,667 --> 00:16:54,052 Hi, Silas! 363 00:16:54,165 --> 00:16:55,593 - Hey, Chelsea! - Hey! 364 00:16:55,687 --> 00:16:59,693 So I heard you were asking for me at Tiffany's last night. 365 00:17:00,075 --> 00:17:01,201 Really? 366 00:17:01,356 --> 00:17:03,200 I don't remember that. 367 00:17:03,358 --> 00:17:07,350 Someone said you were bringing more beers so I was all "Where's Silas? Where's Silas? 368 00:17:07,455 --> 00:17:08,923 Where is the beer?" 369 00:17:09,118 --> 00:17:11,632 What happened? Did you get carded or something? 370 00:17:12,527 --> 00:17:13,610 Yeah. 371 00:17:14,647 --> 00:17:17,423 Yeah, that's right, I got carded. 372 00:17:17,697 --> 00:17:18,821 Bummer. 373 00:17:18,976 --> 00:17:20,693 Yeah. 374 00:17:21,947 --> 00:17:23,133 Here comes trouble. 375 00:17:23,227 --> 00:17:24,502 Hey, family! 376 00:17:24,717 --> 00:17:27,462 You ain't no family of mine. State your business. 377 00:17:27,606 --> 00:17:29,962 What? Does a guy need a reason to visit his friends? 378 00:17:30,035 --> 00:17:31,691 Man, you really got to cut that shit out 379 00:17:31,747 --> 00:17:33,513 because you're making me sick now. 380 00:17:33,597 --> 00:17:34,342 What's up? 381 00:17:34,486 --> 00:17:37,673 Well, I decided to go on a business for myself. 382 00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:41,430 Have you now? Is there a big market for horseshit these days? 383 00:17:42,558 --> 00:17:44,743 No, I'm gonna sell marijuana. 384 00:17:44,846 --> 00:17:48,372 I was wondering if you might know where I could procure some, would you? 385 00:17:48,515 --> 00:17:52,653 Where you planning to unload this marijuana that you speak of. 386 00:17:52,796 --> 00:17:56,171 Why, in the wide-open community of Agrestic, California. 387 00:17:56,275 --> 00:17:57,262 There's not enough pot in the world 388 00:17:57,336 --> 00:18:01,350 to get those people stoned enough to forget where they live so... 389 00:18:01,966 --> 00:18:03,681 Figure I have a pretty good shot. 390 00:18:04,007 --> 00:18:07,481 Okay, so you're gonna mess with your sister-in-law shit? 391 00:18:08,235 --> 00:18:09,941 Damn! That's cold! 392 00:18:10,036 --> 00:18:12,752 I feel there's enough room for both of us. 393 00:18:12,876 --> 00:18:15,860 Yeah but see Nancy been working really hard to lock that area down and... 394 00:18:15,965 --> 00:18:17,800 And that's her problem. 395 00:18:17,998 --> 00:18:19,133 Not yours. 396 00:18:21,666 --> 00:18:22,991 You got cash? 397 00:18:30,768 --> 00:18:32,333 Get the boy an ounce. 398 00:18:35,345 --> 00:18:36,851 I love you, mommy. 399 00:19:06,668 --> 00:19:09,060 Oh! You gotta be kidding me! 400 00:19:13,146 --> 00:19:15,882 Sir, you do realize you just rolled through a stop sign, right? 401 00:19:16,097 --> 00:19:17,972 Nice bike! Did your horse die? 402 00:19:18,137 --> 00:19:18,771 Sir... 403 00:19:18,967 --> 00:19:21,473 You must be in killer shape. Let me see your quads, man. 404 00:19:21,588 --> 00:19:24,160 Can I see your driver's license and registration, please? 405 00:19:24,258 --> 00:19:26,412 When you arrest people, do you ride them in on your handlebars 406 00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:28,900 or do they just sit on the back with their arms around you? 407 00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:29,860 Alright, step out of the car. 408 00:19:30,007 --> 00:19:33,012 Come on! Seriously, I was just having fun! 409 00:19:33,127 --> 00:19:35,823 I mean, you're a cop in bike shorts! 410 00:19:35,916 --> 00:19:37,211 It's adorable! 411 00:19:38,086 --> 00:19:39,462 I have a gun. 412 00:19:39,605 --> 00:19:41,090 Cool. I'm cool. 413 00:19:46,245 --> 00:19:47,560 What's that smell? 414 00:19:47,655 --> 00:19:50,563 Come on, man, just give me my ticket so I can go, okay please? 415 00:19:50,895 --> 00:19:52,702 Alright, turn around. Put your arms behind your head. 416 00:19:53,765 --> 00:19:55,352 Alright, come on. 417 00:19:55,435 --> 00:19:58,002 You know, I don't think you're adorable anymore. 418 00:19:58,288 --> 00:19:59,852 Can I be home-schooled? 419 00:20:00,558 --> 00:20:01,883 Honey, if I had my way 420 00:20:01,985 --> 00:20:03,552 none of us would ever leave the house 421 00:20:03,645 --> 00:20:06,181 but that's not healthy so no. Why? 422 00:20:06,458 --> 00:20:08,570 I got sent to the school shrink. 423 00:20:08,965 --> 00:20:10,453 They'll probably be calling in. 424 00:20:10,535 --> 00:20:13,681 Oh not again! Why this time? 425 00:20:13,778 --> 00:20:17,492 I wrote a gangsta rap about killing Devon Ransler with my gat. 426 00:20:17,597 --> 00:20:19,301 You did what? 427 00:20:19,398 --> 00:20:22,333 He's got the whole school calling me "Strange Botwin". 428 00:20:22,407 --> 00:20:23,871 It was just a joke. 429 00:20:24,165 --> 00:20:25,593 You think that's a joke? 430 00:20:25,677 --> 00:20:27,010 This isn't a joke! 431 00:20:27,177 --> 00:20:30,171 Bullets whizzing by his head. Scared shitless! 432 00:20:30,325 --> 00:20:32,093 Death is not a joke! 433 00:20:32,248 --> 00:20:33,783 - I just thought... - You should know that. 434 00:20:33,926 --> 00:20:35,161 Is Andy for you. 435 00:20:35,307 --> 00:20:37,390 I can't talk to him right now. What else did you say? 436 00:20:37,498 --> 00:20:38,251 She no here. 437 00:20:38,345 --> 00:20:39,793 - Tell me what else it said! - It's nothing! 438 00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:41,801 Okay, I'll give her message. 439 00:20:41,947 --> 00:20:42,823 What? 440 00:20:42,926 --> 00:20:44,593 He said he in jail. 441 00:20:47,695 --> 00:20:48,861 Shane! 442 00:20:52,956 --> 00:20:56,181 Why didn't I just take off? The guy was on a bike for God's sake! 443 00:20:56,267 --> 00:20:57,252 'Cause you're stupid. 444 00:20:57,396 --> 00:21:01,212 So Mrs. Greenstein, what happens now? 445 00:21:01,436 --> 00:21:02,681 Incarceration... 446 00:21:02,738 --> 00:21:05,903 in a medium security prison for a period no longer than 10 years. 447 00:21:07,055 --> 00:21:08,500 10 years! 448 00:21:08,578 --> 00:21:09,562 Joke! 449 00:21:10,655 --> 00:21:13,022 Loosen up everybody! There's nothing to worry about. 450 00:21:13,077 --> 00:21:14,603 You're looking at a fine and... 451 00:21:14,735 --> 00:21:16,732 probably an anti-drug class. 452 00:21:16,907 --> 00:21:17,861 So no jail time? 453 00:21:18,057 --> 00:21:20,702 You probably never sat through an anti-drug class. 454 00:21:20,787 --> 00:21:23,343 You had less than an ounce on you, there's no jail for that. 455 00:21:23,718 --> 00:21:25,192 Oh that's bullshit! 456 00:21:25,755 --> 00:21:27,463 I don't understand. That's good news. 457 00:21:27,557 --> 00:21:29,841 I paid for a full ounce. They fucking cheated me! 458 00:21:30,365 --> 00:21:32,561 They fucking saved your ass from going to jail! 459 00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:34,533 Still, that's very uncool. 460 00:21:34,628 --> 00:21:37,601 There used to be an unbroken spiritual bond between dealer and buyer. 461 00:21:37,627 --> 00:21:41,922 I feel your pain, Andrew, and I return it with renewed sense of outrage. 462 00:21:42,048 --> 00:21:44,013 So less than an ounce is a misdemeanor? 463 00:21:44,086 --> 00:21:46,882 And that's only if the cop's an asshole. Most cops just let you go. 464 00:21:46,977 --> 00:21:50,953 What if the marijuana is in baked goods, say candy or chocolate? 465 00:21:51,046 --> 00:21:52,933 If you can eat it, you can beat it! 466 00:21:55,027 --> 00:21:56,953 What would get their attention? 467 00:21:57,038 --> 00:21:58,943 If I sued them! Can I sue them? 468 00:22:00,038 --> 00:22:00,943 You were saying? 469 00:22:01,028 --> 00:22:02,522 Alright, you ask for it, you get it. 470 00:22:02,666 --> 00:22:03,990 The lay of the land. 471 00:22:04,138 --> 00:22:07,371 Marijuana currently exists in a legal gray area. 472 00:22:07,455 --> 00:22:10,361 It's not illegal to have weed, less than an ounce that is, Andrew, 473 00:22:10,507 --> 00:22:12,780 but it's illegal to buy it. 474 00:22:12,926 --> 00:22:13,771 What about growing? 475 00:22:13,906 --> 00:22:15,160 Ah botany! 476 00:22:15,488 --> 00:22:18,461 As long as it's not broken down in a non-specifically way, 477 00:22:18,485 --> 00:22:20,670 we're talking a slap on a wrist, 3 to 5. 478 00:22:20,966 --> 00:22:22,140 - Years? - Probation. 479 00:22:22,305 --> 00:22:23,560 I'm hungry. 480 00:22:25,695 --> 00:22:28,380 So you can grow it but you can't break it down. 481 00:22:28,487 --> 00:22:29,872 Not unless you wanna go to jail. 482 00:22:29,956 --> 00:22:31,040 Or flee to Mexico. 483 00:22:31,135 --> 00:22:32,132 Or Canada. 484 00:22:32,227 --> 00:22:33,620 Canada... rocks! 485 00:22:33,696 --> 00:22:36,770 Primo weed, really good Chinese food! 486 00:22:37,215 --> 00:22:40,171 Do you have a card? 'Cause you never know on my business when... 487 00:22:40,505 --> 00:22:41,900 you might need a lawyer. 488 00:22:41,978 --> 00:22:42,913 What's your business? 489 00:22:43,216 --> 00:22:44,520 I own a bakery. 490 00:22:44,627 --> 00:22:45,951 Smart cover. 491 00:22:46,346 --> 00:22:48,220 Call anytime. 492 00:23:11,665 --> 00:23:13,743 Hey! I was fucking around today, alright? 493 00:23:13,838 --> 00:23:14,843 I didn't mean it. 494 00:23:15,176 --> 00:23:16,330 Okay, look, I made a mistake. 495 00:23:16,415 --> 00:23:19,173 I don't want Chelsea, I don't want any other girl. I want you. 496 00:23:33,388 --> 00:23:34,481 Is your mom home? 497 00:23:34,606 --> 00:23:37,622 Not yet. She went to bail uncle Andy out of jail. 498 00:23:37,795 --> 00:23:39,291 Well, tell her I stopped by. 499 00:23:39,378 --> 00:23:41,582 Okay. I like you jacket. 500 00:23:42,465 --> 00:23:44,133 Thank you, Shane. 501 00:23:46,756 --> 00:23:49,040 Everyone thinks I've lost my mind. 502 00:23:49,135 --> 00:23:50,563 Everyone thinks I'm weird. 503 00:23:50,898 --> 00:23:53,631 Well, I can see how you might give that impression. 504 00:23:54,076 --> 00:23:55,931 I really don't care what they think. 505 00:23:56,026 --> 00:23:57,110 Good for you! 506 00:23:57,865 --> 00:23:59,861 Let your freak flag fly! 507 00:24:00,695 --> 00:24:02,450 - Really? - Really. 508 00:24:02,967 --> 00:24:05,633 I've recently stopped giving a shit what anyone thinks. 509 00:24:05,726 --> 00:24:06,990 And I gotta tell you... 510 00:24:07,085 --> 00:24:08,510 I feel great. 511 00:24:09,028 --> 00:24:10,542 But you have cancer. 512 00:24:10,828 --> 00:24:12,202 And you have a dead father. 513 00:24:13,046 --> 00:24:17,440 Both of us make people really uncomfortable but there's no way around it. 514 00:24:18,008 --> 00:24:21,432 So either we can feel self-conscious and pretend that everything is normal 515 00:24:21,517 --> 00:24:23,901 or we can just be our strange self. 516 00:24:25,635 --> 00:24:27,343 Thanks, Mrs. Hodes. 517 00:24:27,777 --> 00:24:28,852 For what? 518 00:24:29,085 --> 00:24:30,790 For telling me the truth. 519 00:24:31,646 --> 00:24:32,970 You're welcome. 520 00:24:35,647 --> 00:24:37,541 It's a bitch though, ain't it? 521 00:24:45,085 --> 00:24:47,151 I'm really gonna miss my babies. 522 00:24:47,936 --> 00:24:50,130 We've had some good times together. 523 00:24:52,046 --> 00:24:56,122 After reconstructive surgery, you're gonna feel as good as new. 524 00:24:56,156 --> 00:24:59,250 Better, you're gonna have the tits of a 19 year old girl. 525 00:24:59,396 --> 00:25:01,292 I was thinking of going bigger. 526 00:25:01,527 --> 00:25:03,103 Bigger? 527 00:25:03,198 --> 00:25:05,720 Really big, like freak show big. 528 00:25:05,908 --> 00:25:07,952 47 triple Fs. 529 00:25:08,045 --> 00:25:12,891 So large that other smaller breasts will want to orbit them. 530 00:25:13,905 --> 00:25:17,972 I think you've had one too many. 531 00:25:20,146 --> 00:25:21,782 Do you like me? 532 00:25:23,685 --> 00:25:24,693 Really? 533 00:25:26,085 --> 00:25:27,021 Yeah. 534 00:25:28,888 --> 00:25:30,661 Mostly. 535 00:25:32,715 --> 00:25:34,102 Thank you. 536 00:25:35,617 --> 00:25:37,210 Gotta go pee. 537 00:25:45,135 --> 00:25:48,430 Oh. Sorry, Mrs. Hodes, I didn't realize anyone was in here. 538 00:25:48,578 --> 00:25:50,621 Can I ask your opinion about something? 539 00:25:51,047 --> 00:25:52,371 Sure. 540 00:25:53,275 --> 00:25:55,503 What do you think about these? 541 00:25:55,687 --> 00:25:57,323 Celia, what do you... 542 00:25:57,396 --> 00:25:59,820 Celia, what are you doing? 543 00:26:00,135 --> 00:26:03,370 I just wanted to show my breast to someone who would appreciate them. 544 00:26:07,995 --> 00:26:09,393 I don't give a flying fuck 545 00:26:09,475 --> 00:26:10,552 if you do have cancer, 546 00:26:10,658 --> 00:26:13,010 put your tits away in front of my kid. 547 00:26:13,098 --> 00:26:15,130 Sorry. 548 00:26:15,376 --> 00:26:16,970 I took a 'lude. 549 00:26:19,018 --> 00:26:22,512 Transcript and synchro: Travis - www.forom.com - 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net