0
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:08,000
Subtitles - Ripped (and Hacked)
by RavyDavy - Part of the [RL] Crew

1
00:00:48,929 --> 00:00:53,195
A single gal spends most of her life
searching for the perfect male.

2
00:01:06,546 --> 00:01:08,912
And out of the blue, it arrives.

3
00:01:11,551 --> 00:01:14,418
Aleksandr Petrovsky was
a rather famous artist...

4
00:01:14,488 --> 00:01:16,820
with whom I'd had one rather infamous date.

5
00:01:16,890 --> 00:01:20,018
It's been three whole weeks.
I thought you died or something.

6
00:01:20,093 --> 00:01:21,993
I did die. From rejection.

7
00:01:22,429 --> 00:01:25,728
How could you have left me on the street
all alone?

8
00:01:26,233 --> 00:01:30,033
- It still hurts.
- You'll get over it. You're a big boy.

9
00:01:30,637 --> 00:01:33,333
And where did you get this information?

10
00:01:33,874 --> 00:01:35,899
I was in Holland for work.

11
00:01:36,543 --> 00:01:38,875
- Holland? Listen to you.
- Been there?

12
00:01:40,147 --> 00:01:43,878
To the land of the wooden shoes? No.

13
00:01:45,752 --> 00:01:48,619
I brought you a little present. Let's sit.

14
00:01:54,861 --> 00:01:56,385
Milk chocolate.

15
00:01:57,497 --> 00:02:00,694
Or perhaps you like dark?
I've got it right here.

16
00:02:02,102 --> 00:02:04,297
You don't have a mousetrap
in there, do you?

17
00:02:04,371 --> 00:02:06,134
No. Why would I?

18
00:02:07,507 --> 00:02:08,872
I was being silly.

19
00:02:08,942 --> 00:02:12,935
You know, in the cartoons,
when they put their hands in the things...

20
00:02:19,953 --> 00:02:22,751
Voilą! Light or dark?

21
00:02:38,371 --> 00:02:40,931
Second only to the search
for the perfect male...

22
00:02:41,007 --> 00:02:43,305
is the search for the perfect fragrance.

23
00:02:43,376 --> 00:02:46,675
Am I peppermint musk? No.

24
00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,874
Ladies, I'm taking a lover.

25
00:02:50,417 --> 00:02:54,513
Yes. A lover. Aleksandr Petrovsky.

26
00:02:54,754 --> 00:02:56,312
Wait. The old guy?

27
00:02:56,389 --> 00:02:58,619
I beg your pardon.

28
00:02:59,092 --> 00:03:01,492
My lover is not old.

29
00:03:01,761 --> 00:03:05,322
He is worldly, and wise, and very sexy.

30
00:03:05,398 --> 00:03:07,559
- He is sexy.
- Very.

31
00:03:07,667 --> 00:03:11,569
Yesterday I almost did it with him
on a park bench in front of children.

32
00:03:11,638 --> 00:03:13,833
- What stopped you?
- Common decency.

33
00:03:13,907 --> 00:03:14,965
Oh, that.

34
00:03:15,041 --> 00:03:17,441
That and the fact that I'm not lover-ready.

35
00:03:17,511 --> 00:03:19,274
I need a little bikini waxage.

36
00:03:19,346 --> 00:03:23,407
Then snap to it. Don't play hard to get
with a man who's hard to get.

37
00:03:23,517 --> 00:03:25,178
Maybe cucumber-basil.

38
00:03:25,252 --> 00:03:28,551
- Why would you want to smell like a salad?
- I can't decide what I am.

39
00:03:28,622 --> 00:03:32,285
What do you mean, not old?
Charlotte e-mailed me his photo.

40
00:03:32,359 --> 00:03:33,724
Hello, 60.

41
00:03:34,094 --> 00:03:37,461
He is in his lover-perfect early 50s.

42
00:03:37,531 --> 00:03:40,932
Good age. They've been around
the block and know how to use their cock.

43
00:03:41,001 --> 00:03:43,367
You rhyme now.
Where did you get his picture?

44
00:03:43,436 --> 00:03:46,701
I Googled him. I wanted Miranda
to see your potential new boyfriend.

45
00:03:46,773 --> 00:03:48,741
Not boyfriend. Lover.

46
00:03:48,808 --> 00:03:53,370
- How long will you keep saying it like that?
- Uncomfortable with my taking a lover?

47
00:03:54,047 --> 00:03:56,948
Maybe he could be more than a lover.

48
00:03:58,184 --> 00:04:00,914
No, the only place this is going
is Loverville.

49
00:04:00,987 --> 00:04:02,614
I could see it going somewhere.

50
00:04:02,689 --> 00:04:06,625
Please, listen, half the time
I can't even understand him.

51
00:04:06,693 --> 00:04:09,218
We have nothing in common.
He's in and out of Europe.

52
00:04:09,296 --> 00:04:10,320
That could be good.

53
00:04:10,397 --> 00:04:13,833
You're not listening.
She only wants him to be in and out of her.

54
00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:17,358
Yes, but in a much less
obvious-sounding way.

55
00:04:17,837 --> 00:04:20,169
How about pomegranate-patchouli?

56
00:04:22,042 --> 00:04:26,308
- No, you need something classic. Clean.
- With just a hint of neurosis.

57
00:04:28,114 --> 00:04:30,446
How about you? Are you finding anything?

58
00:04:30,517 --> 00:04:33,782
I don't know. I'm trying to figure out
what Steve might like.

59
00:04:33,853 --> 00:04:36,117
Just get some Old Spice and call it a day.

60
00:04:36,189 --> 00:04:40,353
Steve does not wear Old Spice.
He wears nothing, and he smells great.

61
00:04:41,595 --> 00:04:44,325
Miranda and Steve, sitting in a tree...

62
00:04:44,397 --> 00:04:46,661
K-l-S-S-l-N-G.

63
00:04:46,833 --> 00:04:49,927
First comes love...
Actually, first comes baby.

64
00:04:50,937 --> 00:04:54,998
Great. Now I have to spend
the rest of the day smelling like...

65
00:04:55,075 --> 00:04:57,805
- Apples and hay.
- You bastard.

66
00:04:57,911 --> 00:04:59,105
Okay, let's go.

67
00:04:59,179 --> 00:05:01,613
Aren't you going to get something
for your new lover?

68
00:05:01,681 --> 00:05:04,582
I suspect he already likes the way I smell.

69
00:05:12,525 --> 00:05:15,289
- How lucky are we?
- Very.

70
00:05:15,996 --> 00:05:18,362
If Miranda and Steve had a fragrance...

71
00:05:18,465 --> 00:05:20,695
it would be called "Perfection."

72
00:05:30,577 --> 00:05:34,035
If Miranda, Steve, and Robert,
her ex and neighbor, had a fragrance...

73
00:05:34,114 --> 00:05:36,480
it would be called "Less Than Perfection."

74
00:05:36,549 --> 00:05:39,780
In fact, "Awful, Uncomfortable and Terrible."

75
00:05:40,053 --> 00:05:41,111
Hi.

76
00:05:41,788 --> 00:05:44,279
Well, if it isn't the happy couple.

77
00:05:50,430 --> 00:05:52,091
How are you today?

78
00:05:56,102 --> 00:05:57,967
Y'all have a nice day.

79
00:06:03,910 --> 00:06:07,141
The doctor said that Harry and I
have to wait at least two months...

80
00:06:07,213 --> 00:06:09,147
before we can even try
to get pregnant again.

81
00:06:09,215 --> 00:06:10,512
I'd like to go back to work...

82
00:06:10,583 --> 00:06:13,950
but if I do get pregnant, that's not
fair to the new employers, so l...

83
00:06:14,020 --> 00:06:17,387
I'm sleeping and walking.
How am I doing that?

84
00:06:17,457 --> 00:06:19,391
That's rude. This is important to me.

85
00:06:19,459 --> 00:06:22,257
I know it's important to you.
You know it's important to you.

86
00:06:22,328 --> 00:06:25,889
The homeless guy on the corner
at 57th and 7th knows it's important to you.

87
00:06:25,965 --> 00:06:27,956
Can we please talk about something else?

88
00:06:28,334 --> 00:06:31,360
I'll give you $100 to say
something bitchy about someone we know.

89
00:06:31,438 --> 00:06:32,427
No!

90
00:06:32,505 --> 00:06:35,941
I'm trying to figure out my next direction.
I need to talk about it.

91
00:06:36,009 --> 00:06:37,977
Fine. Talk till my ears bleed.

92
00:06:38,044 --> 00:06:41,639
But do yourself a favor.
Stop for a minute and look at the light.

93
00:06:41,715 --> 00:06:44,809
You mean, the fact that no matter
what happens with the baby...

94
00:06:44,884 --> 00:06:46,784
Harry and I'll always have each other?

95
00:06:46,853 --> 00:06:50,186
No, Char, the frigging light over there
in the park!

96
00:06:51,658 --> 00:06:53,387
When did it become fall?

97
00:06:53,460 --> 00:06:56,452
Somewhere between your ovaries
and my boredom.

98
00:06:59,132 --> 00:07:01,259
Imagine being blind...

99
00:07:01,334 --> 00:07:04,303
and not being able to see
a beautiful day like today.

100
00:07:04,504 --> 00:07:06,267
Can you think of anything worse?

101
00:07:06,339 --> 00:07:09,137
Stonewashed jeans with a matching jacket.

102
00:07:10,477 --> 00:07:12,968
Maybe I should stop thinking
so much about myself...

103
00:07:13,046 --> 00:07:16,948
- and volunteer for the blind or something.
- That would be a nice thing to do.

104
00:07:17,016 --> 00:07:18,506
Very Jackie O.

105
00:07:20,220 --> 00:07:21,949
Okay, let me begin.

106
00:07:22,756 --> 00:07:24,223
Can I ask you a question?

107
00:07:24,290 --> 00:07:26,121
Yes, it will hurt a little.

108
00:07:26,192 --> 00:07:28,319
No, that's not the question.

109
00:07:28,728 --> 00:07:30,593
- Are you Russian?
- Yes.

110
00:07:31,865 --> 00:07:33,594
See? Hurt a little.

111
00:07:34,501 --> 00:07:35,559
Yes.

112
00:07:35,869 --> 00:07:39,396
I was wondering,
how do you say "hello" in Russian?

113
00:07:44,277 --> 00:07:48,441
And how do you say "thank you"?

114
00:07:53,186 --> 00:07:54,710
You're welcome.

115
00:07:55,922 --> 00:07:58,914
The only thing more uncomfortable
than a bikini wax...

116
00:07:59,125 --> 00:08:01,116
is an elevator ride with an ex.

117
00:08:01,227 --> 00:08:04,253
Luckily, Miranda had figured out a way
to avoid that.

118
00:08:04,397 --> 00:08:06,888
Unfortunately, Robert had also.

119
00:08:07,133 --> 00:08:08,794
Robert. Hi.

120
00:08:11,070 --> 00:08:13,004
Okay, I guess I deserve that.

121
00:08:13,273 --> 00:08:17,710
Robert, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you.

122
00:08:18,011 --> 00:08:20,172
Steve and I just fell back in love.

123
00:08:22,015 --> 00:08:24,449
And so what was I,
your little halftime show?

124
00:08:24,517 --> 00:08:25,643
What?

125
00:08:25,819 --> 00:08:27,184
Not at all.

126
00:08:27,420 --> 00:08:30,253
I never thought that Steve and I
would get back together...

127
00:08:30,323 --> 00:08:34,453
or I never would have started up with you.
I hope you understand that.

128
00:08:34,527 --> 00:08:36,051
Well, I'll try.

129
00:08:36,729 --> 00:08:39,789
And I hope you understand
when you get my bill.

130
00:08:39,899 --> 00:08:41,764
- Your bill?
- Yeah, my bill.

131
00:08:41,835 --> 00:08:44,770
For services rendered.
You know, my stud fee.

132
00:08:45,171 --> 00:08:48,504
- Robert, come on...
- No, it's cool.

133
00:08:48,808 --> 00:08:51,140
I got your scene.
You're a busy working mother.

134
00:08:51,211 --> 00:08:53,577
Too tired to go out and eat,
call Hunan Kitchen.

135
00:08:53,646 --> 00:08:55,807
Too tired to go out and fuck, call Robert.

136
00:08:55,882 --> 00:08:57,747
- That's not true.
- Sure it is.

137
00:08:57,817 --> 00:09:00,615
- Fast food, fast fuck.
- You were not a fast fuck.

138
00:09:00,687 --> 00:09:02,314
No, you're right, I wasn't.

139
00:09:02,388 --> 00:09:06,222
I was nice and slow,
just the way you liked it.

140
00:09:10,230 --> 00:09:14,098
"Yes, Robert, oh God!

141
00:09:16,936 --> 00:09:19,370
"No man has ever been in this deep."

142
00:09:25,078 --> 00:09:26,978
What are you doing back?

143
00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:29,878
- I gave Robert custody of the elevator.
- What?

144
00:09:29,949 --> 00:09:33,077
We're moving my stuff in next week,
and you gave him the elevator?

145
00:09:33,152 --> 00:09:36,815
You're lucky I didn't give him Brady.
I bumped into him on the stairs.

146
00:09:36,890 --> 00:09:38,881
- How bad was it?
- Hug me.

147
00:09:42,028 --> 00:09:43,393
It was that bad?

148
00:09:44,364 --> 00:09:46,855
So we can't ever use the elevator?

149
00:09:46,933 --> 00:09:48,958
Not between 8:00 a.m. And 10:00 p.m.

150
00:09:49,035 --> 00:09:51,560
- We have a baby in a stroller.
- I know.

151
00:09:51,638 --> 00:09:54,505
Why did I have to shit where I eat?

152
00:09:54,574 --> 00:09:58,567
- Look, he's just upset. It will blow over.
- I don't think so, Steve.

153
00:09:58,645 --> 00:10:01,546
The man is crazy in love with me,
and now he's acting out...

154
00:10:01,614 --> 00:10:05,345
talking about how I said
no man's ever been in me that deep.

155
00:10:06,319 --> 00:10:08,879
- What?
- Nothing.

156
00:10:10,490 --> 00:10:12,151
Nothing. I'm fine.

157
00:10:15,128 --> 00:10:17,119
Wednesday night, after dinner...

158
00:10:17,196 --> 00:10:20,165
I took the express elevator to Loverville.

159
00:10:22,769 --> 00:10:24,669
You speak Russian very well.

160
00:10:25,872 --> 00:10:27,635
Is that the only word you know?

161
00:10:29,342 --> 00:10:31,867
Yes, that is the only word you know.

162
00:10:36,149 --> 00:10:38,982
There's my studio, and here is my house.

163
00:10:41,220 --> 00:10:45,281
- You have the entire floor?
- Not at first, but over the years.

164
00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:12,413
This used to be some kind of sewing factory
or sweatshop in the 1920s.

165
00:11:12,485 --> 00:11:14,350
That's a lovely story.

166
00:11:22,996 --> 00:11:26,659
Very nice, if you like that whole
window-sky thing.

167
00:11:26,733 --> 00:11:29,429
Yes, it's lovely light in the morning.

168
00:11:35,641 --> 00:11:38,235
Study and kitchen.

169
00:11:39,345 --> 00:11:42,041
Would you like some fruit,
or a martini or something?

170
00:11:42,115 --> 00:11:44,379
Why don't you show me upstairs?

171
00:12:11,444 --> 00:12:13,844
My Russian may have been shaky...

172
00:12:13,913 --> 00:12:17,041
but I discovered I spoke lover very well.

173
00:12:36,502 --> 00:12:40,734
Turns out I'd found a sweet
bed-and-breakfast in Loverville.

174
00:12:50,016 --> 00:12:51,483
Good morning.

175
00:12:53,019 --> 00:12:54,281
Where...

176
00:12:57,957 --> 00:13:00,016
Morning. Come, sit.

177
00:13:03,062 --> 00:13:07,123
In the light of day,
everything looked completely different.

178
00:13:07,233 --> 00:13:08,860
Would you like some coffee?

179
00:13:09,836 --> 00:13:10,928
What kind?

180
00:13:12,338 --> 00:13:13,566
Regular.

181
00:13:14,107 --> 00:13:16,701
Regular coffee is for regular people.

182
00:13:17,276 --> 00:13:19,141
You are not regular.

183
00:13:22,381 --> 00:13:25,509
- I hope I'm not in the way.
- What way?

184
00:13:29,021 --> 00:13:32,616
That's Violette, Padma, Lee. Hey, everybody.

185
00:13:33,559 --> 00:13:34,651
This is Carrie.

186
00:13:36,429 --> 00:13:40,058
It's my staff. Without them,
I would be sitting in the street with a sign:

187
00:13:40,133 --> 00:13:42,067
"I will do art for food."

188
00:13:42,135 --> 00:13:43,898
Speaking of food...

189
00:13:45,104 --> 00:13:47,004
pancakes for the lady.

190
00:13:48,508 --> 00:13:50,237
Hope you're hungry.

191
00:13:50,977 --> 00:13:52,569
Aren't you gonna eat?

192
00:13:52,645 --> 00:13:55,614
No, I'm done.
I'm off to Amsterdam, remember?

193
00:13:56,916 --> 00:13:58,315
Yeah, right.

194
00:13:59,352 --> 00:14:02,651
Maybe before I leave,
I'll have one more little bite.

195
00:14:18,504 --> 00:14:21,200
There I was, having pancakes at IHOP...

196
00:14:21,340 --> 00:14:24,036
the International House Of Petrovsky's.

197
00:14:25,178 --> 00:14:28,739
And they just went on about
their business, totally unfazed.

198
00:14:28,814 --> 00:14:32,341
Honey, they've seen it all.
You've gotta give it to him.

199
00:14:32,451 --> 00:14:35,614
Making pancakes for pussy,
that's a classy touch.

200
00:14:36,756 --> 00:14:40,192
What? You don't think you're the first babe
he battered up for?

201
00:14:41,394 --> 00:14:45,728
No, you're right.
The whole thing was so choreographed.

202
00:14:46,265 --> 00:14:48,165
He knew exactly what he was doing.

203
00:14:48,234 --> 00:14:50,930
Sounds good to me.
I miss a man with the moves.

204
00:14:51,137 --> 00:14:52,570
So Smith, no moves?

205
00:14:52,638 --> 00:14:56,005
No, he has them. Most of them
I've given him, but he has them.

206
00:14:56,242 --> 00:14:59,006
Truth time? I'm a little jealous.

207
00:14:59,178 --> 00:15:01,112
Of what? My Grand Slam Breakfast?

208
00:15:01,180 --> 00:15:03,876
You've got yourself a man,
a real power player.

209
00:15:03,983 --> 00:15:06,679
Someone who takes charge,
drags you to the bed...

210
00:15:06,752 --> 00:15:10,415
has his way with you, doesn't have to
ask what you want, and fucks you.

211
00:15:10,489 --> 00:15:12,684
We're not talking about me anymore,
are we?

212
00:15:12,758 --> 00:15:17,058
No. I mean, Smith, he's hot, but he's a baby.

213
00:15:17,129 --> 00:15:18,562
He's almost 30.

214
00:15:18,631 --> 00:15:22,192
Still, I swear, sometimes I don't know
whether to blow him or burp him.

215
00:15:22,268 --> 00:15:23,895
I need a grownup.

216
00:15:24,437 --> 00:15:26,371
So, how were they?

217
00:15:26,505 --> 00:15:29,872
The pancakes? Delicious. Exactly
what I wanted, I couldn't get enough.

218
00:15:29,942 --> 00:15:31,876
No, I was referring to the moves.

219
00:15:31,944 --> 00:15:35,038
Delicious. Exactly what I wanted,
I couldn't get enough.

220
00:15:35,114 --> 00:15:36,581
Good for you.

221
00:15:37,650 --> 00:15:41,051
So how many pancakes do you think
that kitchen has seen?

222
00:15:41,153 --> 00:15:42,450
Does it matter?

223
00:15:42,521 --> 00:15:44,921
In the cold, harsh reality of daylight...

224
00:15:44,991 --> 00:15:46,959
I knew it didn't matter.

225
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:50,520
But in the colder, harsher reality
of a woman...

226
00:15:50,596 --> 00:15:53,497
who'd just slept with someone she likes,
it did.

227
00:15:54,967 --> 00:15:57,435
Google.com showed many, many listings...

228
00:15:57,503 --> 00:16:00,028
on the art of Aleksandr Petrovsky...

229
00:16:00,806 --> 00:16:03,775
and one on his many, many women.

230
00:16:14,587 --> 00:16:18,387
According to certain scientists,
whenever a woman has sex...

231
00:16:18,724 --> 00:16:22,956
her body produces a chemical
which causes her to emotionally attach.

232
00:16:23,396 --> 00:16:25,796
This chemical may also account...

233
00:16:25,865 --> 00:16:30,097
for the series of terrifying questions
that involuntarily pop into our minds...

234
00:16:30,169 --> 00:16:32,296
after just one casual tryst.

235
00:16:33,139 --> 00:16:35,471
Questions like, "Does he like me?

236
00:16:35,975 --> 00:16:37,670
"Will he call again?"

237
00:16:37,743 --> 00:16:40,610
And the classic, "Where is this all going?"

238
00:16:41,747 --> 00:16:45,410
When it comes to men,
even when we try to keep it light...

239
00:16:53,225 --> 00:16:55,420
I got this invite to a party.

240
00:16:56,529 --> 00:16:58,429
Teen Posse's throwing it.

241
00:16:58,698 --> 00:17:00,791
"Top 30 under 30." I'm one of them.

242
00:17:02,968 --> 00:17:07,029
- Want to go?
- Teen Posse and me? No, and no.

243
00:17:07,106 --> 00:17:09,597
My agent and my manager
really want me to go.

244
00:17:09,675 --> 00:17:12,803
Will you at least look at the invite
and tell me how lame it is?

245
00:17:12,878 --> 00:17:14,937
The party may have been all wrong...

246
00:17:15,014 --> 00:17:17,278
but it was being hosted by Richard Wright.

247
00:17:17,350 --> 00:17:18,874
What? Lame-ass?

248
00:17:20,586 --> 00:17:22,520
No, not so lame-ass.

249
00:17:23,022 --> 00:17:26,116
Richard Wright is a big name
in the hotel business.

250
00:17:26,192 --> 00:17:29,320
He brings a certain something.

251
00:17:29,562 --> 00:17:33,089
And it was exactly the certain something
that Samantha was missing.

252
00:17:33,165 --> 00:17:36,760
You should go. In fact, I'll go with you.

253
00:17:37,370 --> 00:17:39,167
- What the hell?
- Cool.

254
00:17:45,578 --> 00:17:48,945
And I'm not allowed to try
and get pregnant for another two months.

255
00:17:49,014 --> 00:17:50,447
- So you said.
- And I thought...

256
00:17:50,516 --> 00:17:53,246
I have all this time on my hands
to volunteer.

257
00:17:53,352 --> 00:17:56,515
Okay, working as a guide
for a visually impaired person...

258
00:17:56,589 --> 00:17:58,216
is a serious undertaking.

259
00:17:58,290 --> 00:18:01,885
We suggest all our potential volunteers
go to a public place, like a park...

260
00:18:01,961 --> 00:18:03,929
or a department store, with a friend...

261
00:18:03,996 --> 00:18:06,396
and let him or her
lead you around blindfolded.

262
00:18:06,465 --> 00:18:07,693
- Blindfolded?
- Yeah.

263
00:18:07,767 --> 00:18:11,294
Try not to take the blindfold off,
no matter how uncomfortable you feel...

264
00:18:11,370 --> 00:18:16,034
and you'll begin to get a sense of what
it's like not to be able to rely on your sight.

265
00:18:16,475 --> 00:18:17,806
Okay, bye.

266
00:18:20,379 --> 00:18:24,042
- Where can this possibly go?
- Thought you didn't want it to go anywhere.

267
00:18:24,116 --> 00:18:26,710
That was before I slept with him.
Now I'm not so sure.

268
00:18:26,786 --> 00:18:28,754
- Interesting.
- No, ridiculous.

269
00:18:28,821 --> 00:18:31,551
And according to my new best friend,
Google. Com...

270
00:18:31,624 --> 00:18:32,716
You Googled him!

271
00:18:32,792 --> 00:18:34,885
The man has dated
every woman in New York...

272
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:38,862
from 1977 until last Wednesday.

273
00:18:38,931 --> 00:18:43,095
And who knows how many pancakes he's
making for other women around the world?

274
00:18:43,169 --> 00:18:46,605
Oh, my God, listen to me,
and I've only slept with him once.

275
00:18:46,672 --> 00:18:48,537
Okay, let's get blind.

276
00:18:48,674 --> 00:18:51,700
So once I put this over my eyes,
I can't take it off.

277
00:18:51,777 --> 00:18:54,268
- I need you to guide me.
- I'm there.

278
00:18:55,281 --> 00:18:56,748
- This is embarrassing.
- No.

279
00:18:56,816 --> 00:19:01,048
Thinking you can take a lover
is embarrassing. This is helping people.

280
00:19:03,489 --> 00:19:04,979
How's my hair?

281
00:19:09,929 --> 00:19:12,625
That's a European code. It's him.
Should I answer it?

282
00:19:12,698 --> 00:19:13,824
Okay.

283
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,968
- Hello?
- Carrie, it's Aleks.

284
00:19:17,036 --> 00:19:20,563
- Hi! How's Amsterdam?
- It's very Dutch.

285
00:19:20,973 --> 00:19:23,635
What? I can't hear you.

286
00:19:23,742 --> 00:19:27,439
I need better reception, I'm going to go
right over there. Don't go away.

287
00:19:30,516 --> 00:19:31,847
I'm sorry.

288
00:19:36,155 --> 00:19:37,918
- Tomorrow night?
- At 9:00, yes?

289
00:19:38,624 --> 00:19:40,990
- This is an impossible connection.
- What?

290
00:19:41,060 --> 00:19:44,518
- Reception is very bad.
- Bad reception, yes.

291
00:19:44,597 --> 00:19:47,566
- Tomorrow, are you free?
- Yes, I'm free.

292
00:19:47,666 --> 00:19:50,396
- Sorry, I can't quite hear you.
- I'm free!

293
00:19:50,469 --> 00:19:54,235
- All right then. Tomorrow, about 9:00.
- Yes, I will be there.

294
00:19:54,306 --> 00:19:55,671
Carrie?

295
00:19:56,008 --> 00:19:57,202
Hello?

296
00:20:06,385 --> 00:20:07,613
Sweetie?

297
00:20:08,687 --> 00:20:11,087
Would you like to sample Lumiere?

298
00:20:13,292 --> 00:20:16,989
- Do you need some assistance?
- No, thank you. I'm trying to help the blind.

299
00:20:17,062 --> 00:20:20,088
I just got separated from my friend,
but I'm sure she'll find me.

300
00:20:20,165 --> 00:20:22,463
- Lumiere?
- No, bad.

301
00:20:27,239 --> 00:20:28,433
Sorry.

302
00:20:33,112 --> 00:20:34,636
And there in the dark...

303
00:20:34,713 --> 00:20:37,876
Charlotte realized she had no idea
where she was going...

304
00:20:37,950 --> 00:20:40,043
in Barneys or in life.

305
00:20:41,854 --> 00:20:44,516
But sometimes,
even if you're not sure of your direction...

306
00:20:44,590 --> 00:20:47,184
you can find your way
to something wonderful.

307
00:20:47,259 --> 00:20:49,989
You know, they have these over there...

308
00:20:51,063 --> 00:20:53,361
I swear, I looked and looked...

309
00:20:53,432 --> 00:20:56,162
and then I thought, "Best if she finds me."

310
00:20:56,235 --> 00:20:59,432
- I'm meeting him tomorrow. Cute, huh?
- Yeah.

311
00:21:00,739 --> 00:21:02,673
Okay.

312
00:21:05,144 --> 00:21:08,136
Let's just go to the front of the line,
like I suggested.

313
00:21:08,213 --> 00:21:11,478
- I don't like pushing in front of people.
- Grow up.

314
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:16,854
Smith Jerrod. We're on the list.

315
00:21:17,189 --> 00:21:18,952
Oh, my God, awesome!

316
00:21:19,925 --> 00:21:22,758
Love your hair. Let me just check you off.

317
00:21:23,529 --> 00:21:26,191
- And you are?
- Samantha Jones.

318
00:21:28,500 --> 00:21:30,900
Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?

319
00:21:36,175 --> 00:21:37,301
Dude?

320
00:21:37,876 --> 00:21:39,366
He's with me.

321
00:21:42,448 --> 00:21:45,144
- I'm sorry. Richard Wright.
- Smith Jerrod.

322
00:21:45,551 --> 00:21:47,917
Let's get some drinks, shall we?

323
00:21:53,292 --> 00:21:55,692
So, how long you been babysitting?

324
00:21:55,761 --> 00:21:58,229
Said the man hosting the Teen Posse party.

325
00:21:58,297 --> 00:22:02,199
Don't rub it in. Hotels have to stay hip,
so I have to bend over backwards...

326
00:22:02,267 --> 00:22:04,735
tone the taints
of these trendy little pissants.

327
00:22:04,803 --> 00:22:06,737
Well, you look good.

328
00:22:06,805 --> 00:22:09,706
That's because
I'm looking at you, gorgeous.

329
00:22:10,976 --> 00:22:12,841
Two more Scotch Rocks.

330
00:22:14,213 --> 00:22:15,510
What's up?

331
00:22:15,581 --> 00:22:18,812
- Can I get you a Scotch?
- No, thanks, man. I'm in AA.

332
00:22:18,884 --> 00:22:20,442
You kids today.

333
00:22:20,819 --> 00:22:23,344
So, how do you two know each other?

334
00:22:23,722 --> 00:22:25,383
We used to go out.

335
00:22:25,457 --> 00:22:28,585
And then I fucked it up royally.
Lost the best thing I ever had.

336
00:22:28,661 --> 00:22:30,993
Oh, my God, Smith! You have to come.

337
00:22:31,063 --> 00:22:33,861
Paulie is snotting pretzels out of his nose.

338
00:22:33,932 --> 00:22:37,766
- You have to come, it's fucking hilarious!
- Let's go, come on!

339
00:22:39,872 --> 00:22:43,399
- Paulie is snotting pretzels out his nose.
- Fuck you.

340
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,776
Okay, this is the last load.

341
00:22:51,150 --> 00:22:53,516
For a guy with no stuff, you got stuff.

342
00:22:53,619 --> 00:22:55,519
Let's get the TV first.

343
00:22:57,056 --> 00:22:58,546
What the fuck!

344
00:22:59,858 --> 00:23:02,190
That wasn't like that
when we moved it in here.

345
00:23:02,261 --> 00:23:05,094
- Oh, my God! Robert.
- What?

346
00:23:05,898 --> 00:23:07,388
No. You think?

347
00:23:07,866 --> 00:23:12,132
Hello? He's mad, your name is on the boxes,
he lives in the building.

348
00:23:12,204 --> 00:23:15,640
No, it doesn't seem like him.
I must have bumped it or something.

349
00:23:15,708 --> 00:23:19,337
Steve, he's crazy in love with me.

350
00:23:19,411 --> 00:23:21,709
You didn't see how angry he was
on the stairs.

351
00:23:21,780 --> 00:23:25,147
Okay, this is bullshit.
I'm not gonna live like this.

352
00:23:25,217 --> 00:23:28,311
- What are you gonna do?
- I'm gonna take care of things.

353
00:23:28,387 --> 00:23:31,220
Be kind. He's still in love with me.

354
00:23:43,802 --> 00:23:47,499
Look, I need to talk to you
about this whole Miranda thing.

355
00:23:47,906 --> 00:23:49,430
What about it?

356
00:23:51,944 --> 00:23:53,969
I'll be right back, baby.

357
00:23:57,816 --> 00:24:02,048
Turns out Petrovsky wasn't the only one
with an international house.

358
00:24:04,990 --> 00:24:06,389
We're sorry.

359
00:24:06,859 --> 00:24:09,828
She's sorry, I'm sorry. We're sorry.

360
00:24:11,230 --> 00:24:12,891
I appreciate that.

361
00:24:23,709 --> 00:24:25,176
What happened?

362
00:24:25,244 --> 00:24:29,510
Let's just put it this way.
He won't be bothering us again.

363
00:24:30,149 --> 00:24:31,810
Was he very upset?

364
00:24:39,158 --> 00:24:40,921
When it came to Robert...

365
00:24:40,993 --> 00:24:44,554
Steve thought it was kinder
to leave Miranda in the dark.

366
00:25:19,464 --> 00:25:21,295
Where you going, babe?

367
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:24,801
Richard wanted to show me
one of his remodeled suites.

368
00:25:24,870 --> 00:25:26,531
Cool. Can I come?

369
00:25:29,508 --> 00:25:31,567
No, Smith, you can't come.

370
00:25:32,377 --> 00:25:35,608
Look, this was fun, but where is it going?

371
00:25:35,814 --> 00:25:37,247
Gorgeous?

372
00:25:41,286 --> 00:25:44,915
You go play with your friends,
and I'll go play with mine.

373
00:25:58,403 --> 00:26:01,566
Two years ago,
I was on top of the fucking world.

374
00:26:01,974 --> 00:26:05,774
Now I'm hosting a bullshit beer-bash
for a bunch of pinheads with six-pack abs.

375
00:26:06,545 --> 00:26:08,706
This is a world-class hotel.

376
00:26:08,881 --> 00:26:11,816
Fuck it, I've been down this low before.

377
00:26:13,852 --> 00:26:16,480
Richard may have, but Samantha hadn't.

378
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:38,175
I just wanted to make sure
you got home safe.

379
00:26:40,946 --> 00:26:43,380
I don't know what's wrong with me.

380
00:26:44,249 --> 00:26:46,774
I hate myself for doing this to you.

381
00:26:52,758 --> 00:26:54,123
It's okay.

382
00:26:59,765 --> 00:27:02,256
Come on. Let's get you out of here.

383
00:27:03,735 --> 00:27:07,000
Even in the dark,
Smith could still see Samantha...

384
00:27:07,172 --> 00:27:11,074
and for the very first time, she saw him.

385
00:27:14,613 --> 00:27:17,138
I have some work to do in my studio...

386
00:27:17,582 --> 00:27:20,016
but you're welcome to stay, okay?

387
00:27:24,556 --> 00:27:27,047
It was at that moment I realized...

388
00:27:27,326 --> 00:27:30,159
I wasn't really comfortable in Loverville.

389
00:27:33,098 --> 00:27:35,225
I'm not that kind of Google.

390
00:28:24,216 --> 00:28:25,308
Hi.

391
00:28:25,484 --> 00:28:27,918
I just wanted to say thank you.
I'm gonna go.

392
00:28:27,986 --> 00:28:30,978
Okay, then I'll call you tomorrow, all right?

393
00:28:35,227 --> 00:28:37,787
This has been really lovely...

394
00:28:39,264 --> 00:28:41,858
but I don't think I'm cut out for it.

395
00:28:42,401 --> 00:28:44,130
I don't understand.

396
00:28:47,205 --> 00:28:49,105
The pancakes and...

397
00:28:50,509 --> 00:28:52,272
the other ladies...

398
00:28:53,378 --> 00:28:55,175
It's just not for me.

399
00:28:56,014 --> 00:28:58,778
There are pancakes, but no other ladies.

400
00:29:03,388 --> 00:29:07,119
I have a book with a few emergency
telephone numbers, yes...

401
00:29:08,627 --> 00:29:10,527
but now I just see you.

402
00:29:12,731 --> 00:29:15,097
This is not about a quick bang.

403
00:29:23,175 --> 00:29:24,767
I just like you.

404
00:29:27,879 --> 00:29:29,073
Why me?

405
00:29:34,586 --> 00:29:35,780
Why me?

406
00:29:39,758 --> 00:29:41,783
You make a good breakfast.

407
00:29:44,463 --> 00:29:46,192
So what's all this?

408
00:29:49,601 --> 00:29:51,466
It's too soon to tell.

409
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:48,000
Ripped by RavyDavy
part of the [RL] Crew