1 00:00:05,567 --> 00:00:08,467 * 2 00:00:08,467 --> 00:00:11,767 * you won't admit you love me * 3 00:00:11,767 --> 00:00:13,334 * and so * 4 00:00:13,334 --> 00:00:15,834 * how am i ever * 5 00:00:15,834 --> 00:00:17,701 * to know * 6 00:00:17,701 --> 00:00:20,667 * you always tell me * 7 00:00:20,667 --> 00:00:24,100 * perhaps, perhaps, perhaps * 8 00:00:25,100 --> 00:00:27,334 * perhaps * 9 00:00:27,334 --> 00:00:29,601 * perhaps * 10 00:00:29,601 --> 00:00:31,167 * perhaps * 11 00:00:31,167 --> 00:00:33,300 tv: Or the human animal, of course, 12 00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:34,868 sex isn't simply for reproduction, 13 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:38,067 but it's also an important form of recreation and release. 14 00:00:38,067 --> 00:00:39,434 That's true. 15 00:00:39,434 --> 00:00:41,567 Or the adult male deprived of sex, 16 00:00:41,567 --> 00:00:43,334 the build-up of testosterone 17 00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:46,300 can have potentially dangerous behavioral side effects. 18 00:00:46,300 --> 00:00:47,667 That's also true. 19 00:00:47,667 --> 00:00:51,067 Or the maintenance of societal norms, 20 00:00:51,067 --> 00:00:53,033 regular sexual release can be viewed 21 00:00:53,033 --> 00:00:55,167 as a necessity for men. 22 00:00:55,167 --> 00:00:57,868 Very, very true, actually. 23 00:00:57,868 --> 00:01:00,601 Ndeed, such is the level of this primal compulsion, 24 00:01:00,601 --> 00:01:02,534 many--in fact, most men-- 25 00:01:02,534 --> 00:01:04,868 continue with regular masturbation 26 00:01:04,868 --> 00:01:07,667 even while in a stable sexual relationship. 27 00:01:12,033 --> 00:01:13,834 No! Disaster! 28 00:01:13,834 --> 00:01:15,801 I know. 29 00:01:15,801 --> 00:01:17,634 Perfect. Brilliant! 30 00:01:17,634 --> 00:01:18,701 I know. 31 00:01:18,701 --> 00:01:20,033 Charlie dimmock. 32 00:01:20,033 --> 00:01:21,234 What? 33 00:01:21,234 --> 00:01:22,234 Oh, nothing. 34 00:01:24,367 --> 00:01:27,734 ( indistinct voices on tv ) 35 00:01:35,434 --> 00:01:37,534 i can't believe they put stuff like that 36 00:01:37,534 --> 00:01:38,601 on television. 37 00:01:38,601 --> 00:01:40,000 It's irresponsible. 38 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,701 It's like all those sex scenes when you were a kid-- 39 00:01:42,701 --> 00:01:45,634 they were always timed for maximum embarrassment. 40 00:01:45,634 --> 00:01:48,434 Bc bastards! 41 00:01:48,434 --> 00:01:51,467 You thought the BBC were trying to embarrass you with sex scenes? 42 00:01:51,467 --> 00:01:55,200 I swear. I thought the tv was plotting against me. 43 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,701 I'd be in my bedroom watching a film, 44 00:01:57,701 --> 00:02:00,200 and it's just a couple having dinner, or-- 45 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:02,000 or a detective solving a crime. 46 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,534 It's all perfectly innocent, 47 00:02:03,534 --> 00:02:05,801 and as soon as my dad comes up the stairs, 48 00:02:05,801 --> 00:02:09,734 suddenly it's all baby oil and nipples. Every time! 49 00:02:09,734 --> 00:02:11,734 I thought every actress in the country 50 00:02:11,734 --> 00:02:13,367 was programmed to expose her breasts 51 00:02:13,367 --> 00:02:15,734 the moment my father reached a certain altitude. 52 00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:18,601 So did you ask? 53 00:02:18,601 --> 00:02:20,400 If he still-- you know. 54 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,734 Goes solo. 55 00:02:22,734 --> 00:02:24,634 I didn't want to ask. 56 00:02:24,634 --> 00:02:26,234 I had no interest in asking. 57 00:02:26,234 --> 00:02:28,234 But all i could hear was me sitting there 58 00:02:28,234 --> 00:02:29,234 not asking. 59 00:02:29,234 --> 00:02:30,334 It was so obvious. 60 00:02:30,334 --> 00:02:32,167 He does though, doesn't he? 61 00:02:32,167 --> 00:02:33,601 He's a man. 62 00:02:33,601 --> 00:02:37,434 It's not just a right hand, it's a whole relationship. 63 00:02:37,434 --> 00:02:40,000 Michael aspel. Where? 64 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:41,834 Oh, no, he's not here. 65 00:02:41,834 --> 00:02:44,968 Then why did you just say his name? 66 00:02:44,968 --> 00:02:46,467 It doesn't matter. 67 00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:48,167 Anthea Turner. 68 00:02:48,167 --> 00:02:51,367 Jane, please. What are you doing? 69 00:02:51,367 --> 00:02:53,734 I've developed a new talent. 70 00:02:53,734 --> 00:02:55,167 A new talent? 71 00:02:55,167 --> 00:02:56,934 Last Wednesday-- it just arrived. 72 00:02:56,934 --> 00:02:58,000 Amazing, isn't it? 73 00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,167 What is this new talent? 74 00:02:59,167 --> 00:03:00,701 Just by looking at someone, 75 00:03:00,701 --> 00:03:03,234 i can determine their ideal celebrity friend. 76 00:03:05,667 --> 00:03:07,067 Point is... 77 00:03:07,067 --> 00:03:10,400 Men can't be allowed solo access to their erections. 78 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:11,734 They're not like us. 79 00:03:11,734 --> 00:03:15,267 They've only got so many goes in them per day. 80 00:03:15,267 --> 00:03:17,200 I know. 81 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,534 But Steve needs his mariella moment. 82 00:03:19,534 --> 00:03:21,167 Fern britten. 83 00:03:21,167 --> 00:03:22,234 Sorry? 84 00:03:22,234 --> 00:03:23,634 That's yours. Fern britten. 85 00:03:23,634 --> 00:03:25,167 Why fern? 86 00:03:25,167 --> 00:03:27,133 Assertive, intelligent, successful woman, 87 00:03:27,133 --> 00:03:29,133 but with a larger bottom than you! 88 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:32,367 You're good. 89 00:03:32,367 --> 00:03:33,767 I know! 90 00:03:35,267 --> 00:03:37,968 Mariella moment? 91 00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:39,734 Did she ask? 92 00:03:39,734 --> 00:03:42,000 You know...ask? 93 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,834 If you still... 94 00:03:43,834 --> 00:03:45,734 You know... 95 00:03:45,734 --> 00:03:46,901 Frostrup. 96 00:03:46,901 --> 00:03:48,534 Frostrup?! 97 00:03:48,534 --> 00:03:50,667 Yeah. Steve's whole fantasy life revolves around 98 00:03:50,667 --> 00:03:52,100 mariella frostrup. 99 00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:53,834 Jeff, please. 100 00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:56,100 If he ever meets mariella frostrup in person, 101 00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:58,400 his right hand will shout, "mother"! 102 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,267 Jeff! 103 00:04:00,267 --> 00:04:02,334 It'd be like, you know, the end of e.t. 104 00:04:02,334 --> 00:04:04,100 When he saw the spaceship. 105 00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:05,968 There'll be organ music. 106 00:04:05,968 --> 00:04:08,534 Thank you for clearing that up, Jeff. 107 00:04:08,534 --> 00:04:11,133 Hey... organ music! 108 00:04:11,133 --> 00:04:12,934 ( laughing ) 109 00:04:12,934 --> 00:04:14,367 yes, Jeff. 110 00:04:15,734 --> 00:04:18,767 So, did she ask about your, uh... 111 00:04:18,767 --> 00:04:20,300 Frostruping? 112 00:04:20,300 --> 00:04:22,801 She didn't have to ask the actual question, did she? 113 00:04:22,801 --> 00:04:24,534 It was just there. 114 00:04:24,534 --> 00:04:25,734 Of course it was. 115 00:04:25,734 --> 00:04:27,100 It's out there, it's circling. 116 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,400 We're sitting there in silence and there it is, 117 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:32,667 just throbbing in the air between us. 118 00:04:32,667 --> 00:04:34,634 Wasn't that a bit tactless? 119 00:04:34,634 --> 00:04:37,868 The question was throbbing, Patrick. 120 00:04:37,868 --> 00:04:39,501 Like an accusation. 121 00:04:39,501 --> 00:04:40,567 Exactly. 122 00:04:40,567 --> 00:04:42,000 You're choking the chicken. 123 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,300 You're strangling the python. 124 00:04:43,300 --> 00:04:45,300 You're shaking the caravan, Jeffrey. 125 00:04:49,033 --> 00:04:50,234 Uh... 126 00:04:50,234 --> 00:04:54,868 Sorry, i, uh... Drifted off a bit there. 127 00:04:54,868 --> 00:04:57,334 Family holidays, eh? 128 00:04:57,334 --> 00:04:59,901 God, they went on a bit, didn't they? 129 00:05:01,534 --> 00:05:05,901 ..often maintaining societal structures... 130 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,634 It's not a big deal. I don't mind. 131 00:05:16,634 --> 00:05:19,601 But the silence is just getting longer and longer. 132 00:05:19,601 --> 00:05:21,067 So what happened? 133 00:05:21,067 --> 00:05:22,901 Valerie singleton! 134 00:05:22,901 --> 00:05:24,801 I'm sorry? Your celebrity match, 135 00:05:24,801 --> 00:05:26,000 Valerie singleton. 136 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:28,701 You can be all sensible and organized together, 137 00:05:28,701 --> 00:05:29,968 and make lots of lists. 138 00:05:29,968 --> 00:05:31,033 I can see that. 139 00:05:31,033 --> 00:05:32,267 It's uncanny, isn't it? 140 00:05:32,267 --> 00:05:34,434 I'm thinking of writing a book-- 141 00:05:34,434 --> 00:05:36,701 "how to target and befriend the right celebrity." 142 00:05:36,701 --> 00:05:37,767 Really? 143 00:05:37,767 --> 00:05:39,934 You've got to use the right techniques. 144 00:05:39,934 --> 00:05:42,334 Slipping the mobile, for instance. 145 00:05:42,334 --> 00:05:43,434 That's a good one. 146 00:05:43,434 --> 00:05:44,667 What's that, then? 147 00:05:44,667 --> 00:05:46,801 You accidentally on purpose slip your mobile phone 148 00:05:46,801 --> 00:05:48,067 into a celebrity's pocket. 149 00:05:48,067 --> 00:05:50,300 Then you ring them up, saying you've lost your phone, 150 00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:52,534 and you meet up for a lovely chat. 151 00:05:52,534 --> 00:05:54,968 That's clever, actually. 152 00:05:54,968 --> 00:05:56,133 Yeah... 153 00:05:56,133 --> 00:05:58,767 Except...I've had to give up owning a mobile. 154 00:05:58,767 --> 00:06:02,501 I had my last three blown up by prince William's security. 155 00:06:03,534 --> 00:06:05,334 So you want to write a book 156 00:06:05,334 --> 00:06:07,200 about how to stalk celebrities? 157 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,701 It's not stalking in my case. 158 00:06:09,701 --> 00:06:11,400 I'm a celebrity myself. 159 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:15,767 Jane, you report traffic congestion on local radio. 160 00:06:15,767 --> 00:06:18,701 Anyway, i don't recommend actual stalking. 161 00:06:18,701 --> 00:06:20,667 That's best left as a threat. 162 00:06:20,667 --> 00:06:22,501 You know, with your real unapproachables, 163 00:06:22,501 --> 00:06:24,434 like Lorraine Kelly and salman rushdie. 164 00:06:24,434 --> 00:06:26,501 Salman rushdie? 165 00:06:26,501 --> 00:06:28,634 I had a real thing for him. 166 00:06:28,634 --> 00:06:31,067 But he's such a tricky one to track down. 167 00:06:31,067 --> 00:06:33,167 I had to use my full rangeof techniques. 168 00:06:33,167 --> 00:06:35,000 There was a fatwa on him. 169 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,868 He was sentenced to death by the ayatollah. 170 00:06:37,868 --> 00:06:40,534 I know. It got so out of hand. 171 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,434 Speaking of getting out of hand, 172 00:06:44,434 --> 00:06:46,601 what happened with Steve? 173 00:06:46,601 --> 00:06:48,734 Have you ever been so self-conscious 174 00:06:48,734 --> 00:06:50,734 you've forgotten how to breathe regularly? 175 00:06:50,734 --> 00:06:52,400 Oh, yeah, sure. 176 00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:54,734 It's like when you're sitting on a bus 177 00:06:54,734 --> 00:06:56,534 and there's this woman... 178 00:06:58,801 --> 00:07:01,000 That's the worst. 179 00:07:02,467 --> 00:07:03,968 I can't move! 180 00:07:03,968 --> 00:07:05,734 I'm totally clenched! 181 00:07:05,734 --> 00:07:09,501 If I'd have stood up, I'd have taken the sofa. 182 00:07:09,501 --> 00:07:11,601 I could feel him getting tenser and tenser. 183 00:07:11,601 --> 00:07:13,834 Which would've been fine-- it would've been okay, except-- 184 00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:14,834 what? 185 00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:16,367 Have you ever seen Steve 186 00:07:16,367 --> 00:07:17,767 trying to seem relaxed? 187 00:07:17,767 --> 00:07:20,501 I was just trying to seem relaxed. 188 00:07:20,501 --> 00:07:22,767 I had a moment of madness. 189 00:07:22,767 --> 00:07:24,968 What did you do? 190 00:07:28,434 --> 00:07:31,334 ( whistling ) 191 00:07:36,767 --> 00:07:38,300 what are you doing? 192 00:07:38,300 --> 00:07:39,734 What? 193 00:07:39,734 --> 00:07:41,567 Why are you whistling? 194 00:07:43,667 --> 00:07:46,501 J-just felt like some music. 195 00:07:46,501 --> 00:07:48,400 So you whistled? 196 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:49,601 It's an option. 197 00:07:49,601 --> 00:07:52,234 Why don't you go put on a cd or something? 198 00:07:52,234 --> 00:07:54,567 I'm not in the mood for a whole cd. 199 00:07:54,567 --> 00:07:56,400 Sometimes you want a full orchestra 200 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:58,667 and sometimes you just want a... 201 00:08:00,534 --> 00:08:02,400 Quick whistle? 202 00:08:03,968 --> 00:08:05,100 Apparently. 203 00:08:06,734 --> 00:08:08,334 What are you so annoyed about? 204 00:08:08,334 --> 00:08:10,067 Who said i was annoyed? 205 00:08:10,067 --> 00:08:11,434 You only say "apparently" 206 00:08:11,434 --> 00:08:13,167 when you're really annoyed about something. 207 00:08:13,167 --> 00:08:18,067 Look, i don't mind you whistling, okay? 208 00:08:18,067 --> 00:08:20,467 Everybody whistles... 209 00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:21,767 Now and again-- 210 00:08:21,767 --> 00:08:23,968 particularly men. It's perfectly natural. 211 00:08:23,968 --> 00:08:26,434 Right. 212 00:08:26,434 --> 00:08:29,667 As long as you don't get "whistled" out. 213 00:08:32,868 --> 00:08:35,267 Subtle. Very. 214 00:08:35,267 --> 00:08:38,167 Blunt! Evil! 215 00:08:38,167 --> 00:08:40,734 By the way, I've invited my parents 216 00:08:40,734 --> 00:08:42,701 for a late supper on Wednesday night, 217 00:08:42,701 --> 00:08:44,701 here, if that's okay. 218 00:08:44,701 --> 00:08:46,334 Don't worry, I'll cook. 219 00:08:46,334 --> 00:08:49,200 Y-your parents. Great. 220 00:08:50,801 --> 00:08:53,734 That'll be...great. 221 00:08:55,167 --> 00:08:56,634 What's so bad about her parents? 222 00:08:56,634 --> 00:08:58,501 Wednesday-- that's tonight. 223 00:08:58,501 --> 00:09:00,567 I'm just getting up the courage, mate. 224 00:09:00,567 --> 00:09:02,000 Why? What do her parents do? 225 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:05,267 They talk about sex. 226 00:09:05,267 --> 00:09:06,934 No! 227 00:09:06,934 --> 00:09:09,567 They're incredibly open about everything. 228 00:09:09,567 --> 00:09:11,868 The whole family is. Susan, too. 229 00:09:11,868 --> 00:09:15,667 They talk about sex like it's a completely normal thing. 230 00:09:15,667 --> 00:09:17,734 Are they insane? 231 00:09:17,734 --> 00:09:19,934 Parents have no business talking about sex. 232 00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:20,968 It's not their area. 233 00:09:20,968 --> 00:09:22,167 It's disgusting. Oh... 234 00:09:22,167 --> 00:09:23,834 Like when you find your dad's magazines. 235 00:09:23,834 --> 00:09:25,000 Exactly! 236 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,601 Or you hear your parents doing it. 237 00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:29,234 Oh, yeah, I've been there. 238 00:09:29,234 --> 00:09:31,968 Or your mother starts making enormous sculptures of erections 239 00:09:31,968 --> 00:09:33,701 and filling the house with them. 240 00:09:33,701 --> 00:09:35,234 That's what i hate! 241 00:09:37,634 --> 00:09:38,701 I'm sorry? 242 00:09:38,701 --> 00:09:39,934 Tons of the bastards, 243 00:09:39,934 --> 00:09:41,501 all over the place. 244 00:09:41,501 --> 00:09:43,467 Some of them were huge! 245 00:09:43,467 --> 00:09:45,834 We had to keep one of them in the garden shed. 246 00:09:45,834 --> 00:09:49,234 You grew up in a house full of erections? 247 00:09:50,868 --> 00:09:53,601 My mum said it was a celebration of love. 248 00:09:53,601 --> 00:09:54,968 Of love? 249 00:09:54,968 --> 00:09:56,467 That's a bit of a leap. 250 00:09:56,467 --> 00:09:59,801 She used to keep the ones that had gone wrong in a box... 251 00:09:59,801 --> 00:10:01,767 Under my bed. 252 00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:05,100 Trust me, you don't want to know about my nightmares. 253 00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:09,133 I went out with a girl once who made a sculpture of... 254 00:10:09,133 --> 00:10:11,033 You know... 255 00:10:11,033 --> 00:10:12,567 Junior Patrick. 256 00:10:14,033 --> 00:10:15,234 Junior Patrick? 257 00:10:15,234 --> 00:10:17,934 You call it "junior Patrick"? 258 00:10:17,934 --> 00:10:19,968 Yeah. She said it was her best-ever model. 259 00:10:19,968 --> 00:10:22,167 She said she'd never had to use so much material. 260 00:10:22,167 --> 00:10:23,901 Yeah, okay. We know. 261 00:10:23,901 --> 00:10:26,133 There's big, there's balance problem... 262 00:10:26,133 --> 00:10:28,534 And there's bazooka man! 263 00:10:28,534 --> 00:10:30,067 Not one to boast, boys, 264 00:10:30,067 --> 00:10:32,601 but she said that in all her years of sculpting, 265 00:10:32,601 --> 00:10:35,434 she'd never had so much room for the battery compartment. 266 00:10:37,901 --> 00:10:40,634 Battery compartment? In a sculpture? 267 00:10:40,634 --> 00:10:43,434 Yeah. I always meant to ask her about that. 268 00:10:43,434 --> 00:10:45,968 As soon as she finished, i never saw her again. 269 00:10:45,968 --> 00:10:47,033 Right. 270 00:10:47,033 --> 00:10:48,467 Last i heard 271 00:10:48,467 --> 00:10:50,501 she started up some sort of mail-order company. 272 00:10:50,501 --> 00:10:52,801 You know what, though? 273 00:10:52,801 --> 00:10:54,801 She'd misspelled "mail." 274 00:10:56,801 --> 00:10:59,200 I think you may have been had, mate. 275 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,133 And a lot more often than you realize. 276 00:11:04,667 --> 00:11:06,100 I think my time is up. 277 00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:07,567 Hey... 278 00:11:08,901 --> 00:11:10,234 Just passing. 279 00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:12,033 Thought I'd check you hadn't forgotten. 280 00:11:12,033 --> 00:11:13,467 Of course, i haven't forgotten. 281 00:11:13,467 --> 00:11:14,868 How can anyone forget your parents? 282 00:11:14,868 --> 00:11:16,200 What'd you mean by that? 283 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:18,501 Nothing. You're parents are great. 284 00:11:18,501 --> 00:11:20,467 They're really...great. 285 00:11:20,467 --> 00:11:22,033 Good. Great! 286 00:11:22,033 --> 00:11:24,200 Well, we should be going. 287 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:25,901 Fantastic. 288 00:11:25,901 --> 00:11:27,567 I'm just going to pop to the loo. 289 00:11:27,567 --> 00:11:29,968 I hope there's a lock on the door. 290 00:11:31,300 --> 00:11:32,701 You know. 291 00:11:32,701 --> 00:11:35,100 You wouldn't want to have to whistle or anything. 292 00:11:37,767 --> 00:11:40,701 Yes, you're looking very nice today, Sally. 293 00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:43,501 But I'm sure I'll manage to contain my excitement. 294 00:11:43,501 --> 00:11:45,267 Good. ( gasps ) 295 00:11:45,267 --> 00:11:46,501 is something wrong? 296 00:11:46,501 --> 00:11:48,501 It's just my stockings. 297 00:11:48,501 --> 00:11:51,701 Oh, are you wearing stockings, too? 298 00:11:51,701 --> 00:11:55,000 Come on! I'm just going to the loo, for God's sake. 299 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,067 Sally isn't wearing stockings. 300 00:11:57,067 --> 00:12:00,033 I happen to know she's wearing tights and thermal pants. 301 00:12:00,033 --> 00:12:03,367 Okay. That's just one step too far! 302 00:12:03,367 --> 00:12:05,300 All right. Here's the deal. 303 00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:07,534 I'm going to the loo, okay? 304 00:12:07,534 --> 00:12:10,734 Nothing's gonna happen here that's going to cause me 305 00:12:10,734 --> 00:12:12,100 to lose control. 306 00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:14,000 Oh! 307 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:17,968 I'm so sorry. Are you okay? 308 00:12:17,968 --> 00:12:19,167 Um... 309 00:12:19,167 --> 00:12:21,133 I've got my drink all down you. 310 00:12:21,133 --> 00:12:23,701 I really am sorry. You're soaking. 311 00:12:24,834 --> 00:12:26,033 Oh! 312 00:12:27,567 --> 00:12:29,067 Patrick: It's her, isn't it? 313 00:12:29,067 --> 00:12:30,667 E.t. Phone home! 314 00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:32,200 No, no... 315 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:34,267 I'm fine, really. 316 00:12:34,267 --> 00:12:36,367 I've completely soaked your trousers. 317 00:12:36,367 --> 00:12:37,834 Don't worry about it. 318 00:12:37,834 --> 00:12:40,167 I was about to go to the toilet anyway. 319 00:12:41,667 --> 00:12:45,067 Not that i was intending to wet my trousers, obviously. 320 00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:50,334 Although i am pleased to meet you. 321 00:12:50,334 --> 00:12:51,934 Right... 322 00:12:51,934 --> 00:12:54,200 I-I'm Steve, by the way. 323 00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:55,234 Hello, Steve. 324 00:12:55,234 --> 00:12:56,434 ( Susan clears throat ) 325 00:12:56,434 --> 00:13:00,434 oh! And this is my girlfriend... 326 00:13:11,868 --> 00:13:13,601 Usan! 327 00:13:13,601 --> 00:13:16,267 Who? Oh, yes! 328 00:13:16,267 --> 00:13:17,901 Uh, this is Susan! 329 00:13:17,901 --> 00:13:19,200 Hi, Susan. 330 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:20,801 My girlfriend. 331 00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:22,067 Right. 332 00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:24,934 Well, uh... Good to meet you. 333 00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:26,801 Sorry again. 334 00:13:26,801 --> 00:13:28,400 Uh...look, i-- 335 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,634 we'll talk about it later. Right. 336 00:13:30,634 --> 00:13:32,067 At length. Yes. 337 00:13:35,234 --> 00:13:37,501 Oh... 338 00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:42,701 He forgot her name. 339 00:13:42,701 --> 00:13:44,701 He forgot to go to the loo. 340 00:13:44,701 --> 00:13:46,200 I know. 341 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:49,167 You'd think he'd want a last look at them. 342 00:13:50,467 --> 00:13:52,434 Jane? 343 00:13:52,434 --> 00:13:54,968 Jane: Mariella frostrup 344 00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:57,767 is so me. 345 00:13:57,767 --> 00:13:59,834 You got a plan to meet her, then? 346 00:13:59,834 --> 00:14:01,367 There's always a way, Sally. 347 00:14:01,367 --> 00:14:02,734 Always. 348 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:16,200 Right. Here we go, then. 349 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:19,133 Susan's just in the kitchen doing all that... 350 00:14:19,133 --> 00:14:22,200 Well, you know, whatever it is she does in the kitchen. 351 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:24,367 ( chuckling ) great. 352 00:14:24,367 --> 00:14:26,601 I can see Susan's been making her mark here. 353 00:14:26,601 --> 00:14:28,367 Well, you know how it is. 354 00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:31,567 She spends rather a lot of time here these days, doesn't she? 355 00:14:31,567 --> 00:14:32,934 Most of the time, really. 356 00:14:32,934 --> 00:14:34,434 Well, you know... 357 00:14:34,434 --> 00:14:36,200 Oh, we know... 358 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:37,968 Naughty, naughty. 359 00:14:39,601 --> 00:14:42,534 Oh, yes, we're...naughty. 360 00:14:42,534 --> 00:14:43,868 We're ever so naughty. 361 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,567 Well, i mean, fairly naughty. 362 00:14:47,567 --> 00:14:51,934 Uh, actually, probably about medium naughty. 363 00:14:51,934 --> 00:14:53,901 Well, medium to fairly, I'd say. 364 00:14:55,501 --> 00:14:57,701 It's great how we can 365 00:14:57,701 --> 00:15:00,000 talk about these things, isn't it? 366 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,501 I mean, being so open. It's really great. 367 00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:04,367 There's no point in being all prissy, is there? 368 00:15:04,367 --> 00:15:07,100 Absolutely not. Prissy--i hate that. 369 00:15:07,100 --> 00:15:12,167 So, Susan tells us you've started doing solos. 370 00:15:14,367 --> 00:15:15,601 Um... 371 00:15:15,601 --> 00:15:17,634 Her dad's just the same, aren't you dear? 372 00:15:17,634 --> 00:15:18,968 Well, no harm in it, is there, Steve? 373 00:15:18,968 --> 00:15:22,234 Well, no... No, no, of course not. 374 00:15:22,234 --> 00:15:23,501 Exactly. 375 00:15:23,501 --> 00:15:24,834 It's p-perfectly natural. 376 00:15:24,834 --> 00:15:26,133 Of course it is. 377 00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:27,667 I've always said to Susan, 378 00:15:27,667 --> 00:15:29,834 if you're going to live with a man, 379 00:15:29,834 --> 00:15:32,701 you've got to get used to all his funny little habits. 380 00:15:32,701 --> 00:15:34,300 Oh, right. 381 00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:35,801 Good. 382 00:15:35,801 --> 00:15:38,234 You okay, Steve? Yes, yes. 383 00:15:38,234 --> 00:15:40,734 It's just you look a little unrelaxed. 384 00:15:40,734 --> 00:15:42,601 No, no. Not at all. Not me. 385 00:15:42,601 --> 00:15:44,868 I mean, you know what they say, 386 00:15:44,868 --> 00:15:46,934 if music be the food of love, 387 00:15:46,934 --> 00:15:50,067 then masturbation is just a snack between meals. 388 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:56,100 I mean we all do it, don't we? 389 00:15:56,100 --> 00:15:57,300 I do. 390 00:15:57,300 --> 00:15:58,734 That's for sure. 391 00:15:58,734 --> 00:16:02,367 I mean, i get turned on if i see my right hand naked. 392 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,934 How are we all doing in here? 393 00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:09,133 We're just getting relaxed. 394 00:16:09,133 --> 00:16:11,667 Just having a good ol' relaxed chat. 395 00:16:11,667 --> 00:16:12,934 I was just telling mom and dad 396 00:16:12,934 --> 00:16:15,067 how you've started whistling to yourself. 397 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:20,801 Dad's just the same, aren't you dad? 398 00:16:20,801 --> 00:16:22,968 Yes, i am. 399 00:16:25,434 --> 00:16:28,033 I... whistle. 400 00:16:29,801 --> 00:16:33,100 Yes, he whistles... 401 00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:35,100 Tunes... 402 00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:36,534 Solo. 403 00:16:38,601 --> 00:16:40,100 Back in a moment. 404 00:16:45,901 --> 00:16:48,267 Um... 405 00:16:48,267 --> 00:16:50,968 Susan probably needs a hand. 406 00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:52,801 Not as much as you do. 407 00:16:52,801 --> 00:16:54,100 Apparently. 408 00:17:11,601 --> 00:17:13,100 Oh, i know her. 409 00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:16,934 And her. 410 00:17:16,934 --> 00:17:18,467 ( whispering ) over here. 411 00:17:18,467 --> 00:17:20,634 They're not really lesbians. 412 00:17:20,634 --> 00:17:21,834 Trust me. 413 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,434 Okay, what do you think? 414 00:17:26,434 --> 00:17:28,467 What am i supposed to be looking for? 415 00:17:30,567 --> 00:17:32,033 That's me. 416 00:17:32,033 --> 00:17:34,901 The one at the back, that's mine. 417 00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:38,734 Whoa... 418 00:17:38,734 --> 00:17:40,267 I don't believe it. 419 00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:41,534 I've been sold. 420 00:17:41,534 --> 00:17:43,434 She sold me as a sex aid. 421 00:17:43,434 --> 00:17:45,234 You sure that's you? 422 00:17:45,234 --> 00:17:47,901 I mean...all of it? 423 00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:50,067 Excuse me. Um... 424 00:17:50,067 --> 00:17:52,934 Could we have a closer look at one of these, please? 425 00:17:52,934 --> 00:17:53,968 Which one? 426 00:17:53,968 --> 00:17:55,067 Right at the back there. 427 00:17:55,067 --> 00:17:56,734 The Scary one. 428 00:17:58,334 --> 00:18:00,434 Oh, the junior Patrick. 429 00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:16,200 You're mariella frostrup. 430 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:18,167 Yes, i know. 431 00:18:18,167 --> 00:18:20,601 What a coincidence. 432 00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:23,067 I'm sorry? 433 00:18:23,067 --> 00:18:25,267 I'm in the business, too. 434 00:18:25,267 --> 00:18:26,634 Really? 435 00:18:26,634 --> 00:18:28,868 So that's a coincidence, isn't it? 436 00:18:28,868 --> 00:18:30,767 What do you do? 437 00:18:30,767 --> 00:18:33,801 I deal mostly with traffic issues. 438 00:18:33,801 --> 00:18:35,834 Oh, you're more show biz, though, aren't you? 439 00:18:35,834 --> 00:18:38,267 Well, and panorama. 440 00:18:38,267 --> 00:18:40,534 Well, yes, panorama. I'm really pleased to see you 441 00:18:40,534 --> 00:18:42,968 tackling more serious journalism these days. 442 00:18:42,968 --> 00:18:44,267 Thank you. 443 00:18:44,267 --> 00:18:48,133 I quite often have to handle the North circular myself. 444 00:18:48,133 --> 00:18:50,701 When you say... 445 00:18:50,701 --> 00:18:51,934 "Traffic" issues... 446 00:18:51,934 --> 00:18:54,734 Well, i mean i report... 447 00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:56,567 On traffic... 448 00:18:56,567 --> 00:18:57,934 From a helicopter. 449 00:18:59,634 --> 00:19:00,634 Quite a big one. 450 00:19:02,133 --> 00:19:04,300 I see it very much as a stepping Stone. 451 00:19:04,300 --> 00:19:07,033 But in the meantime it's a real chance to influence... 452 00:19:07,033 --> 00:19:08,033 Traffic. 453 00:19:08,033 --> 00:19:09,400 Traffic? 454 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:10,934 It's great, actually. 455 00:19:10,934 --> 00:19:12,534 I tell a few little fibs, 456 00:19:12,534 --> 00:19:15,901 and, suddenly, I've got a very easy drive home. 457 00:19:15,901 --> 00:19:17,133 And once a month 458 00:19:17,133 --> 00:19:19,501 i get to really take it out on the a-40. 459 00:19:19,501 --> 00:19:22,400 I always say what other job, 460 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:25,000 outside of a nuclear submarine, 461 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:29,167 allows you to work off your pmt on a whole city! 462 00:19:35,267 --> 00:19:37,100 Maybe it's just the name, 463 00:19:37,100 --> 00:19:39,133 maybe she just named it after you. 464 00:19:39,133 --> 00:19:41,100 I don't know. It's very similar. 465 00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:42,100 Even that bit? 466 00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:44,067 Definitely that bit. 467 00:19:44,067 --> 00:19:45,868 Wow. 468 00:19:45,868 --> 00:19:47,767 So you guys gonna buy this or what? 469 00:19:47,767 --> 00:19:50,000 Ha ha ha ha! 470 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,667 E're not buying it. 471 00:19:51,667 --> 00:19:53,901 We're not buying it together or anything. 472 00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:55,801 No, it's a gift. It's a gift. 473 00:19:55,801 --> 00:19:57,467 For someone else who is not us. 474 00:19:57,467 --> 00:19:58,934 A completely different person. 475 00:19:58,934 --> 00:20:00,067 A woman person. 476 00:20:00,067 --> 00:20:01,567 We know lots of those. 477 00:20:01,567 --> 00:20:03,200 In fact, i want it gift-wrapped. 478 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,901 It's a gift. I'd like it wrapped... 479 00:20:05,901 --> 00:20:09,167 Like a gift. Okay? 480 00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:11,234 Do you want to start an account with us? No, thank you. 481 00:20:11,234 --> 00:20:13,033 We can give you a code name. It's very discreet. 482 00:20:13,033 --> 00:20:14,934 No, it's not necessary. 483 00:20:14,934 --> 00:20:17,601 Yeah. We don't need accounts. 484 00:20:17,601 --> 00:20:19,834 We don't need code names. 485 00:20:19,834 --> 00:20:21,567 So just wrap that, will you? 486 00:20:21,567 --> 00:20:23,200 Certainly. 487 00:20:24,667 --> 00:20:26,868 This lots to be sent off to "caravan shaker." 488 00:20:26,868 --> 00:20:28,100 Out the back. 489 00:20:30,901 --> 00:20:34,000 Steve: H, for God's sake! 'm sorry. 490 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,801 But you're gonna have to go! 491 00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:37,834 I don't understand! What did i say? 492 00:20:37,834 --> 00:20:40,267 You know perfectly well what you said! 493 00:20:40,267 --> 00:20:42,100 It was completely out of line! 494 00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:43,667 I--i-- 495 00:20:43,667 --> 00:20:44,767 there is openness, 496 00:20:44,767 --> 00:20:47,033 and then there is openness. 497 00:20:47,033 --> 00:20:49,033 You overstepped the line! 498 00:20:49,033 --> 00:20:50,667 I really don't understand! 499 00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:54,567 It's just better if we bring the evening to an end. 500 00:20:54,567 --> 00:20:56,200 Thank you! Good night! 501 00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:57,334 This is ridiculous! 502 00:20:57,334 --> 00:20:58,834 The boy's gone mad! 503 00:21:02,234 --> 00:21:04,767 Ha ha! I'm sorry... 504 00:21:04,767 --> 00:21:07,501 But that was completely out of line. 505 00:21:07,501 --> 00:21:08,968 Did you hear what he just said? 506 00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:10,167 Yes, i heard what he said. 507 00:21:10,167 --> 00:21:11,267 First of all, 508 00:21:11,267 --> 00:21:13,367 he spend all evening winding me up about 509 00:21:13,367 --> 00:21:14,667 whistling, 510 00:21:14,667 --> 00:21:18,067 about how I'll tire out my lips if i whistle too much. 511 00:21:18,067 --> 00:21:19,834 He just meant whistling. 512 00:21:19,834 --> 00:21:21,367 Actual whistling. He was embarrassed. 513 00:21:21,367 --> 00:21:23,167 He was trying to make jokes. 514 00:21:23,167 --> 00:21:25,067 But you heard what he said just then. 515 00:21:25,067 --> 00:21:26,100 Yes, i did. 516 00:21:26,100 --> 00:21:28,100 "All that whistling-- 517 00:21:28,100 --> 00:21:31,300 by the time Susan gets home, you'll be too tired to--" 518 00:21:31,300 --> 00:21:32,868 well, actually, 519 00:21:32,868 --> 00:21:35,968 i don't want to use the word he used. 520 00:21:35,968 --> 00:21:38,033 "Pucker." 521 00:21:45,100 --> 00:21:46,934 By the time Susan gets home, 522 00:21:46,934 --> 00:21:49,133 you'll be too tired to pucker. 523 00:21:54,100 --> 00:21:55,300 Pucker? 524 00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:56,968 Pucker. 525 00:21:56,968 --> 00:21:58,534 Not-- 526 00:21:58,534 --> 00:21:59,834 no. 527 00:21:59,834 --> 00:22:01,601 I see. 528 00:22:01,601 --> 00:22:04,501 I suppose you think this is all my fault. 529 00:22:04,501 --> 00:22:07,534 Steve, i-- it's at least partly the television's fault, 530 00:22:07,534 --> 00:22:09,467 if they hadn't put that program on! 531 00:22:09,467 --> 00:22:12,767 It is not the television's fault! It is your fault! 532 00:22:12,767 --> 00:22:16,067 Now go and find them! Yes, yes. All right. 533 00:22:28,767 --> 00:22:30,534 I've really got to go now. 534 00:22:30,534 --> 00:22:32,234 I've got this live broadcast thing, 535 00:22:32,234 --> 00:22:33,434 mustn't be late. 536 00:22:33,434 --> 00:22:35,767 It's really good we met each other, isn't it? 537 00:22:35,767 --> 00:22:39,234 It's a tough business, and we need all the help you can get. 538 00:22:39,234 --> 00:22:40,434 Well, i suppose. 539 00:22:40,434 --> 00:22:42,100 If there's ever any help we can be to each other, 540 00:22:42,100 --> 00:22:43,667 please don't hesitate to offer. 541 00:22:43,667 --> 00:22:46,100 Look, I'll see you around. Okay? 542 00:22:47,167 --> 00:22:50,267 Oh!she's mine! 543 00:22:53,734 --> 00:22:54,968 How did it go? 544 00:22:54,968 --> 00:22:57,167 I think i came across well. 545 00:22:57,167 --> 00:22:59,734 Although i did mention nuclear weaponry 546 00:22:59,734 --> 00:23:01,501 in the context of pmt. 547 00:23:01,501 --> 00:23:03,467 I must stop doing that. 548 00:23:03,467 --> 00:23:04,634 I want in. 549 00:23:04,634 --> 00:23:05,868 On mariella? 550 00:23:05,868 --> 00:23:07,067 Yeah. Sorry. 551 00:23:07,067 --> 00:23:10,334 There's no passengers. You don't have the skills. 552 00:23:10,334 --> 00:23:13,200 No. But I've got this. 553 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:16,834 The mariella mobile, the hot line to frostrup. 554 00:23:16,834 --> 00:23:20,067 I want to be a mariella mate, too. 555 00:23:20,067 --> 00:23:21,133 What about Susan? 556 00:23:21,133 --> 00:23:22,801 Susan's not part of the deal. 557 00:23:22,801 --> 00:23:25,300 E're going to be mariella's friends now. 558 00:23:25,300 --> 00:23:27,200 There isn't room for everybody. 559 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:29,834 We? Just you and me. Susan's out. 560 00:23:29,834 --> 00:23:32,100 She's my oldest friend. 561 00:23:32,100 --> 00:23:33,100 Okay. 562 00:23:33,100 --> 00:23:35,267 Do you know what this is? 563 00:23:35,267 --> 00:23:37,801 Do you know what this simple phone is, Sally? 564 00:23:37,801 --> 00:23:40,167 It's a golden ladder to celebrityland. 565 00:23:40,167 --> 00:23:41,767 With just this phone, we can ascend 566 00:23:41,767 --> 00:23:43,767 to a whole new plane of existence. 567 00:23:43,767 --> 00:23:45,834 We can leave the drab, ordinary world behind 568 00:23:45,834 --> 00:23:48,133 and go to all those parties in the color supplements. 569 00:23:48,133 --> 00:23:50,801 We'll have famous people for friends 570 00:23:50,801 --> 00:23:53,334 and go to their houses and see their toilets! 571 00:23:53,334 --> 00:23:57,000 Nothing, nothing, Sally... 572 00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,167 Is ever going to be dull again. 573 00:23:59,167 --> 00:24:01,234 ( sighs ) 574 00:24:01,234 --> 00:24:03,734 okay. Here goes. 575 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:20,667 And it's all down to your phone. 576 00:24:20,667 --> 00:24:23,334 Okay. How long do you think we should wait 577 00:24:23,334 --> 00:24:26,267 before we ring that "mariella mobile"? 578 00:24:27,601 --> 00:24:28,934 Jane... 579 00:24:33,467 --> 00:24:37,801 Jane: Aaahh!!! 580 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:49,100 ( indistinct voices ) 581 00:24:50,367 --> 00:24:52,801 ha ha! So pucker, i thought, 582 00:24:52,801 --> 00:24:55,200 sounds like... You see? 583 00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:56,801 So he must have thought i said... 584 00:24:56,801 --> 00:24:58,467 That's exactly what he thought. 585 00:24:58,467 --> 00:25:00,901 So we thought we'd better come back and sort it all out. 586 00:25:00,901 --> 00:25:02,634 So he's still out looking for us? 587 00:25:02,634 --> 00:25:04,968 Probably buying you flowers or a bottle of something. 588 00:25:04,968 --> 00:25:06,801 Those are his normal guilt reflexes. 589 00:25:06,801 --> 00:25:09,167 Better try and get hold of him. 590 00:25:10,467 --> 00:25:12,067 Patrick: Steve! 591 00:25:12,067 --> 00:25:13,634 I need to speak to Susan. 592 00:25:13,634 --> 00:25:15,234 What's so urgent? 593 00:25:15,234 --> 00:25:17,234 She's the only ex i can trust. 594 00:25:17,234 --> 00:25:18,801 I need a second opinion. 595 00:25:18,801 --> 00:25:20,167 What is it? 596 00:25:20,167 --> 00:25:23,133 ( whispering ) a sculpture. 597 00:25:23,133 --> 00:25:25,667 This isn't a good moment. I'll see you tomorrow. 598 00:25:25,667 --> 00:25:27,334 It's important. Just show it to her. 599 00:25:27,334 --> 00:25:28,934 Some other time! 600 00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:33,634 Look, they've got satellite. 601 00:25:33,634 --> 00:25:35,501 Oh, Robert. 602 00:25:35,501 --> 00:25:38,033 Y the nationwide poster campaign... 603 00:25:38,033 --> 00:25:40,434 Oh, please, not her. 604 00:25:40,434 --> 00:25:43,234 Steve's completely obsessed with mariella frostrup. 605 00:25:43,234 --> 00:25:45,934 Don't be ridiculous. Of course I'm not. 606 00:25:45,934 --> 00:25:47,367 ( cellular rings ) 607 00:25:47,367 --> 00:25:48,901 that's my mobile. 608 00:25:48,901 --> 00:25:51,534 No, it's me. I was just trying to get hold of you. 609 00:25:51,534 --> 00:25:52,868 ( continues to ring ) 610 00:25:52,868 --> 00:25:55,334 where is my phone? 611 00:25:55,334 --> 00:25:57,868 ( continues to ring ) 612 00:25:57,868 --> 00:25:59,234 actually--I'm sorry. 613 00:25:59,234 --> 00:26:02,567 S that--is that a phone ringing? 614 00:26:02,567 --> 00:26:04,567 ( continues to ring ) 615 00:26:04,567 --> 00:26:06,567 sounds like you forgot to 616 00:26:06,567 --> 00:26:08,901 turn your mobile phone off, mariella. 617 00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:11,734 His isn't mine. 618 00:26:11,734 --> 00:26:13,467 've never seen this phone before in my life. 619 00:26:13,467 --> 00:26:14,634 Ome on, who did it? 620 00:26:14,634 --> 00:26:15,767 Nswer it. 621 00:26:15,767 --> 00:26:17,067 Ive 'em a fright. 622 00:26:21,100 --> 00:26:23,300 Ello. This is mariella frostrup. 623 00:26:23,300 --> 00:26:26,033 Ou are live on television. 624 00:26:26,033 --> 00:26:27,934 Hello? 625 00:26:27,934 --> 00:26:29,734 This is Steve Taylor's phone. 626 00:26:29,734 --> 00:26:31,667 He's not gonna be live anywhere! 627 00:26:36,701 --> 00:26:39,100 Bloody television! 628 00:26:39,100 --> 00:26:40,901 Every single time! 629 00:26:42,567 --> 00:26:45,367 Obviously, she must have picked up my mobile. 630 00:26:45,367 --> 00:26:47,834 Uh...accidentally. 631 00:26:47,834 --> 00:26:50,000 Apparently. 632 00:26:51,467 --> 00:26:54,701 Good night, mother. Good night, father. 633 00:26:54,701 --> 00:26:56,167 Where are you going? 634 00:26:56,167 --> 00:26:57,167 To my room! 635 00:26:57,167 --> 00:26:58,734 You mean my room? 636 00:27:00,934 --> 00:27:02,200 Hat's your room! 637 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:03,367 On the sofa? 638 00:27:03,367 --> 00:27:04,467 Good night, Steve. 639 00:27:04,467 --> 00:27:05,534 Oh, come on-- 640 00:27:05,534 --> 00:27:08,400 and Steve, if you want anything tonight, 641 00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:09,567 anything at all, 642 00:27:09,567 --> 00:27:11,200 just whistle. 643 00:27:12,834 --> 00:27:15,834 You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? 644 00:27:15,834 --> 00:27:20,567 As i recall, you just put your lips together 645 00:27:20,567 --> 00:27:21,567 and... 646 00:27:21,567 --> 00:27:24,067 Not tonight, lover. 647 00:27:27,234 --> 00:27:28,901 Perhaps we'd better go. 648 00:27:28,901 --> 00:27:30,634 I'm sorry. 649 00:27:30,634 --> 00:27:33,501 I think I've probably run out of ways 650 00:27:33,501 --> 00:27:35,167 to make the evening worse. 651 00:27:35,167 --> 00:27:38,868 I don't know how to apologize. 652 00:27:38,868 --> 00:27:41,400 No. I imagine you don't. 653 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:44,968 But i suppose we have to give you credit for trying. 654 00:27:44,968 --> 00:27:46,701 Good night. 655 00:27:47,767 --> 00:27:48,968 Good night. 656 00:27:48,968 --> 00:27:50,033 Um... 657 00:27:50,033 --> 00:27:52,000 Actually... 658 00:27:56,467 --> 00:27:58,000 Well, thanks for phoning, Sally. 659 00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:01,133 I should have known you two had something to do with it. 660 00:28:01,133 --> 00:28:03,367 It was worth it just to see the look on his face 661 00:28:03,367 --> 00:28:04,934 when mariella answered the phone. 662 00:28:04,934 --> 00:28:07,834 No. I'm still at Steve's. I'm going to go home later. 663 00:28:07,834 --> 00:28:10,801 Apparently, the traffic in town is really hellish. 664 00:28:10,801 --> 00:28:13,467 The a-40 s at a standstill. 665 00:28:13,467 --> 00:28:14,968 Yeah... 666 00:28:14,968 --> 00:28:17,234 Okay, then. See you. Bye. 667 00:28:20,234 --> 00:28:21,367 Steve? 668 00:28:23,267 --> 00:28:25,033 What's all this? 669 00:28:25,033 --> 00:28:27,367 Apparently your mother really liked her present. 670 00:28:32,033 --> 00:28:36,200 * if you can't make your mind up * 671 00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:42,200 * we'll never get started * 672 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:45,000 * and i don't want to wind up * 673 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,200 * being parted * 674 00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:50,901 * broken-hearted * 675 00:28:50,901 --> 00:28:54,200 * so if you really love me * 676 00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:56,000 * say yes * 677 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:58,601 * and please don't tell me * 678 00:28:58,601 --> 00:28:59,601 * perhaps * 679 00:28:59,601 --> 00:29:00,601 * perhaps * 680 00:29:00,601 --> 00:29:02,434 * perhaps *