La Team Weeds de seriessub.com presents
Weeds 2x12 "Pittsburgh" (Season Finale)
We hope you took as much pleasure as we did to follow this season =)
Greetings Agrestic Elementary school, class of 2006
Hello teachers-
-siblings-
-parents-
-stepparents-
-pets
No pets.
Ok, Greetings Agrestic Elementary school, class of 2006.
Did you know about all this stuff ?
Of course not.
You never clean anymore.
I think he do this for you.
Please !
Look, he decided to steal cameras, not the car-stereos and door knobs.
Why would anyone steal a door knob ?
There are some nice door knobs.
Lupita,
listen.
Yes ?
If something would happen to me...
What's going to happen to you ?
Nothing, but, if something did...
Yes ?
The kids go to my sister Jill.
Not to Andy, ok ?
Jill ! Her number's in my book.
Jill, Price-Grey, with a fucking hyphen
Fucking hyphen.
Under J, for "Jill"
You know what, um...
Don't worry about it.
Nothing's gonna happen, yeah.
I'm gonna be fine !
Okay.
I'm not going to Chili with you !
Okay, to Bolivia then.
Or one of the guays
Para ? Ura ? You decide.
Why ? Why do we have to leave ?
Because !
I stole 1.3 million dollars worth at poker chips from a casino in Canada.
And Abumchuk is not just a bounty hunter, but he's also an ultimate fighter.
But don't worry, I have a plan
We'll go down to south America, we find this guy Homet)
Serious gambler, he'll buy the chips for 34 cents on the dollar.
We'll get a little casita, and have babies.
I always know exactly when I'm ovulating.
Oh my god !
We'll leave today after graduation, I'll make a waldorf salad for the road.
Or a corn salad, I'll make a great corn salad.
Do we have a cooler ?
You know,
I haven't forgotten
how you stabbed me screaming "Die Shit hill, die ! "
You stepped on my spirit turtle.
You are bad shit nuts Kat.
and I love that about you.
But I've never meant for you to find me again.
And I cannot go away with you.
You know how I hate to travel alone !
I wanna lick this space where your toes used to be.
I know you do, I know !
Oh god ! That's it ! Right there, right there, right there.
Son of a bitch !
Son of a fucking cold bitch !
Silas ?
It's me, again.
I'm offering you amnesty if you come home in the next hour.
Probation, if you show up for graduation. At the very least,
please, let me know you are okay.
You look very handsome !
Are... we moving ?
Why don't you let me get through today and then, ask me about that again tomorrow, ok ?
Is Silas coming to my graduation ?
I'm not sure about that.
Mom ?
Yeah ?
What do I tell people when they ask what you do ?
You tell 'em I'm your mom.
I've been doing some research on the internet,
and I really think Pittsburgh is the place for us.
I'll keep that in mind.
Pittsburgh. Okay.
Oh no, I spilled.
I'll go get the paper towels.
Honey, relax, it's just a little milk.
But Mom will totally...
Mom will what ?
Mom's not here.
She'll be back.
No, honey.
Not this time, really.
Come on.
Dad, you know the Harry Potter books that we've read ?
Love'em all, love the Harry Potter.
Mom... is Voldemort. Don't you know that ?
You may have reduced her to vapor now but,
she is out there,
gathering her strength.
And she will be back.
Don't you know that ?
You better get hurry for graduation !
Big day today.
Big day !
Silas ?
We're leaving for graduation now.
I hope you'll meet us there.
This is really important to Shane.
Really.
Don't do this to him.
Jesus, you scared me !
Good !
I hope you peed your panties.
Where is he ?
Who ?
Alright, I guess you had to ask that.
Who Celia ?
The one who called you a drunk at a public assembly ?
Or... the one who stole civic property ?
I have no idea what you're talking about.
I have Silas, on video.
Stealing.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Oh, not today !
Mom, we're gonna be late !
Where the hell did you get a gun ?
I borrowed it from Pam.
Oh my god !
I only had the one bullet.
I was gonna shoot Doug.
I'll see you at graduation.
Are you okay ?
This would have never happened in Pittsburgh.
Why am I even here ?
I heard you might be meetin' your maker today.
So we figured,
send that boy off to die, with a nice hot breakfast in his belly.
What do you know ?
What do we know ?
Vanita, what do we know ?
Is the baby too little for a blueberry ?
No, but if you give it to him, cut it up real small.
And put a bib on, cause that shit won't stain.
Heylia got a little visit from your girlfriend.
I told her not to come in your home.
Nobody listen to you Conrad.
He come after you ?
Yeah.
He gon' want to finish it.
Probably.
Let me ask you this,
you wanna die today ?
No.
Eat your fucking waffle.
Greetings Agrestic Elementary School, Class of 2006.
Hello teachers, parents,
stepparents, siblings, boyfriends and girlfriends of parents,
all sort of relatives,
friends of your mom and dad who you call aunt and oncle but really aren't.
And, Principal Dodge.
As I stand before you today,
on the brink of Junior High,
here is what I have to say :
You have failed us all !
Everything is not okay !
We have become alienated
desensitized,
angry,
and frightened.
If we picture Agrestic as an airplane,
A grand soaring jet carrying us through the sky.
I think you all need to understand,
there are motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane.
Okay, that's it Botwin.
That is quite enough.
You said no profanity.
You are done, and here's your diploma. And you are Agrestic Junior High's problem now.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to give out the diplomas.
Let him speak ! Let him speak !
Motherfucking, let him motherfucking speak !
I will call off this graduation if we don't have order right now ! I mean it !
Let him speak ! ...
Everybody be quiet !
We are not safe !
*You move... you feel safe, but
your children are not safe !
I have to go, um.
I think take Shane to the party, and I'll see you guys later.
Tell Shane I'm sorry, I had to go.
Where you going ?
It's business.
Where are you going ?
Congratulations, you've all graduated. Goodbye !
Just making sure you were coming. We both know how you lie.
Either you control your woman, or I will.
I hear you, I'm cutting in.
Are you my boyfriend, or not ?
I liberated a case of Cactus Cooler for the ride
I'm not coming with you.
I tastes like baby aspirin.
Well, in that case, I'm still not going with you.
Jesus, you've scared me.
You ought to let a person know you're coming.
I could have cut you up into seven little men holding hands.
You hear from our friend ?
Yeah, he left a note on my car just trying to scare me.
- Is it working ? - Fuck yes !
You're a good kisser.
Oh shit.
What ? What's "Oh shit" ?
Abumchuk.
It's now or never. Come with me.
I can't be alone, and you're my favorite person on earth.
I can't do it, Kat.
Why ? Fuck you and give me your van keys.
You can't have my van !
I'm just gonna steal it anyway.
Wife fucker.
Carrer wrecker.
You punched my neck !
You're freakishly tall.
Most of are freakishly long,
so imagine how much of me was inside your wife.
Hey, come here.
Did you hear my speech ?
No, I.. I missed it.
- You're an asshole. - Look, I'm sorry.
Ok I had stuff to do. Where's mum ?
I don't know. She took off during my speech.
Did she say where she was going ?
No, she just.. left.
Some fucking family you got stuck with, huh.
Hey wassup ?
Men, you're coming in real time, or you're coming in black people time ?
I will be here.
Black people time ?
Some of us like watermelons, some of us got big dicks,
Most of us have trouble getting in places on time.
I get it.
I like gin, and I'm not much for hugging.
Did you bring your gun ?
Actually, that's one cultural stereotype that I'm not fulfilling today.
I brought a gun.
Celia left one at my house this morning
after she shot on my kitchen cabinet.
Jesus, give me that fucking thing.
There aren't any bullets in it.
Another great plan from you.
You shouldn't put metal in a microwave.
Hi honey, I got your note.
You sure know how to charm a girl.
You've been
fucking him the whole time you were married to me ?
No, I told you that.
But you're a liar.
It's just business between us.
Always has been.
Your loss.
She fucks like a wild animal.
Hey guys.
Isn't it my shift ?
You're the little shit who smashed my muffin.
Forgive me ?
If you would go, I would
I would kill you, I would kill you !
I will kill you, you son of a bitch.
All right, now you're dead.
Now you are fucking dead, Doug Wilson.
I have no respect for you.
Personnally.
But I always though you were cute.
And I'm a single now.
By the way, have you seen your nephew ?
Never mind.
So looks good.
I'll be in touch.
Get the fuck out of my way.
Jesus, people are so rude in the south.
Well, that's it.
Yeah ?
Yep. We are broken up.
Sorry kid.
He's a heart breaker.
Yeah well, maybe they deserve each other.
Who ?
Shane and Kat.
You know, well,
she's gone.
I know. They left together.
They left.. sh..
Shit ! When ?
Few minutes ago.
The two of them took off.
Yo motherfuckers.
Anybody home ?
Big bad wolf coming here.
I'll be waiting in my truck.
Motherfucker !
You out too.
No, within !
Somebody's got to answer to the door.
Hold on !
Okay.
Just wait here.
Don't come out of here, no matter what.
Don't come out.
Okay. Okay.
Oh hey.
It's about time.
I was just about to huff and puff.
Some nice set-up you got here.
Now take off your shirt.
- What ? - Take off your fucking shirt.
Marvin, check Conrad for a wire, she's ..
Hold on dog, that's bullshit.
It's called due diligent.
Are you going to due to diligent, or am I ?
It's diligence.
These are nice titties.
Okay, I've shown you mine.
Now show me yours.
In a minute, I got to pee.
Where's your fucking toilet ?
Doing that maple lemonade flushes you out
Pees more than my cousin Juan who only got one kidney.
Poor Juan.
We are gonna have the best adventure.
Thanks for keeping me company Shane.
Cactus Cooler ?
Where are we going ?
Where do you wanna go ?
- Pittsburgh - Okay
But we have to make a quick stop in Paraguay first.
Cool.
Tastes like baby aspirin.
Step on it Geronimo.
You watch that shit man.
Yes ?
No no no no no no no
Go go go, come on.
Kashishian says good bye.
I have been on this flush.
Yeah huh.
Maple lemonade.
My kid's graduating,
so hum, could we just
get through this ?
You give us the money, we give you the drugs, everybody ..
goes away.
You don't see the cash until I see the weed.
Marvin, help me with this.
No hey.
Open up.
No. You don't see the weed till I see the cash.
You know what ?
You're almost right about that.
What the fuck !
Yeah, now give us the drugs, and we'll let you live.
Open it up.
But where's the money ?
Ain't no money fool !
I'm a fucking criminal !
Now, open up the safe or I shoot both you.
I hear you, you're a wonderful criminal.
Bitch !
What the hell are you thinking Dog ?
I'm thinking you ain't got no army.
Oh shiiit.
And right now, business is business.
Wow hey hey hey, what the fuck !
Son of a bitch.
Where is the money ?
The nigger there, he says I kill agent asshole, You pay us.
Huh he's dead ?
Where is my money, Conrad ?
We've mete out like a little problem.
Ain't no money cause they decided to hijack us.
Son of a bitch, mother fucker !
Fine, fine. We take the pot.
No way, that's my shit.
Why ? You kill federal agent ?
Me killing all you.
We all got guns.
- Excuse me - We kill each other, then nobody gets nothing.
He's.. he's dead ?
Hum, Peter ?
Yes !
Hey ok, sorry. There's a lot of
data flying around.
Somebody open the fucking safe !
- You got ... - Shut the fuck up !
Open the fucking safe !
Nancy.
Open the fucking safe !
Okay !
Oh not today.
Ain't no motherfucker weed here.
Where the fuck is the shit.
Relax everybody.
All right, hum.
I'm reaching for my cell phone.
Hold on.
It's ringing.
Hi Nancy.
Did you take something that doesn't belong to you ?
I want in.
That's him.
That's the little fucker who stole my cameras.
Arrest him !
Shit.
Transcript: Greendies, LeChuck
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