Silas!
Come on!
You can't stay locked in there forever.
Please come out and ignore me.
Or let Lupita refuse to change your sheets.
- Go away! - We'll talk.
Come out and talk to me.
Hello?
We got trouble in Little Armenia.
Would it kill you to say good morning when you call?
You know I ain't so sure it's a good morning, the DEA...
The DEA knocked over some grow houses near our spot.
- Who was on shift? - Sanjay.
- Did you hear from him? - No, but...
Just meet me over here, we're gonna go in together.
Okay, I'll be there soon.
- Something ain't right. - What happened?
- They must have busted Sanjay. - Oh, no. No, no!
Don't shoot!
Oh, hi!
Hang on, okay? I've got a call.
Hello?
What the fuck happened?
We thought we were being busted, we tried to flush the weed.
You think a house full of weed
is like a dime bag in a boys room at Church camp?
- I'm Hindu. - We? Who's we?
- Andy. - Where is he?
I don't know. He just yelled "Out of my way, brownie" and ran off.
- Where the fuck is my mother? - Andy had it.
Listen, I have to go, my mom is probably flipping out.
Go! Go! Go! Go!
What? No raid?
Motherfucker!
I think we need a panic room.
What'd you do?
We can't see out, okay?
There were sirens and helicopters and
if we had a panic room, I wouldn't have panicked.
- Why does my plant smell funny? - Because I saved it.
By the way, I'm a little freaked out over here.
Thought I was going to jail.
Look at this face. I'd get passed around prison like a loose joint.
Smells like piss. Did you piss on my plant?
No, I did not piss on your plant, I watered it.
- With my urine. - You what?
I was saving her life. Not only did I provide moisture
when she was dry, I wrapped her precious roots in my good hoodie so...
- You're welcome. - You pissed in my plant.
Pee has nitrogen in it.
Man, that's good for plants.
Not when it's concentrated like in pee.
It wasn't concentrated, I drank like 7 bottles of water.
I know the importance of staying hydrated, man.
Is this bad for us? Did he hurt our plant with his... pee?
See, she's looking pretty good, isn't she?
That is a little bit of me in her.
Why do you never know when to shut up!
I'll get her back in some soil, see if she takes root again.
- If she does, we're okay, right? - They fucked up our lights.
You better hope that the rest of 'em plants are okay.
I'm gonna go clip some clones and get us back on track.
Ah, well at least we're still in business, right?
We could all be in a hooskow right now.
No, we couldn't. We were fine until you trashed the place.
I'm gonna check the potty,
see if any of the other clones are salvageable.
Yeah, you do that.
- Nice. - Thank you.
You look adorable, honey.
Isn't this exciting? It's exciting.
It is.
What are you doing here?
Well, this is now our only source of income.
So I'm protecting our assets.
Excuse me, the hair is all wrong.
She has a small head on a large body.
Don't let the moon face full you.
She needs her big hair to balance things out.
This is what the director wants.
Well, the director doesn't realize that Isabel has a
freakishly small head.
Mom.
I am looking out for your best interest. Excuse me.
If you add a little volume to the hair,
she won't look like a pinhead.
I don't need these negative vibes.
My hairdresser should be styling here at the circus.
You wanna have a go at make-up next
just to guarantee that she's fired?
Well, the make-up is terrible too.
I mean who gives an 11-year-old blowjob lips?
What seems to be the problem?
The problem is that they don't know how to style my daughter.
Why is it that all you gay men hate women so much?
Because we have mothers like you.
Okay, you.. the hair.
Security... the mother.
- I beg your pardon? - I want her off my set.
- Control freak. - Horror show.
I love showbusiness.
Stop!
- You have to stop. - Yeah, stop.
Not 'til Silas comes out, this is my invasion of Panama.
Like when we got the canal?
No. What do they teach you in school?
How to pass the weekly standardized tests to get the school more founding.
Okay, kiddo, home schooling.
In the 80s, Panama was ruled by a man with bad skin named Manuel Noriega
who used to be our puppet leader but then wasn't.
So as the US always seems to do when we have a president named Bush,
we invaded his country.
Then Noriega hid out in the Vatican embassy.
But we couldn't storm in there 'cause the Pope would freak.
So instead we blasted rock music at the building
'til it drove him so crazy that he surrendered
and Silas is your mom's Noriega
and Polly Wolly Doodle is her rock 'n roll.
Wow!
Now I'm tired again.
Did Noriega had acoustic noise-cancelling headphones
because Silas does and I don't, now I'm going mental.
Go to your
mediocre public school before you're late.
Is it okay if I stay after school a little bit?
- I joined the debate club. - What brought that on?
I don't know, I thought it'd be fun to debate and stuff.
Well, good for you.
Have fun.
Silas.
Come out please.
I'm trying to help you.
Damn it!
What can I do to help you?
Buy him a car.
I want a car.
No.
So how's business?
I'm not gonna talk with you about this.
Not so hot?
Geez Nancy, if you can't rake it in dealing drugs...
I swear...
Come on, stop thinking of me like a kid. Talk to me.
My business is fine. Thank you.
So is it just weed? Are you selling coke or meth?
- Just weed. - Why?
Because I think...
coke and meth are dangerous drugs that destroy lives.
I think pot smoking is basically a victimless crime.
Although I don't want you smoking and you shouldn't smoke it.
Pot makes you stupid.
You two look like you are ready to buy.
I need something for my son.
Special occasion? Birthday? Graduation?
My girlfriend just had an abortion.
I've got just the car.
This is sweet.
Awesome.
Two-sitter.
No backseat, no trouble.
I'll be right back.
I love it.
No. Unsafe.
If you're so concerned about my safety, maybe you should have
considered another line of work.
One more word, I'm taking my dirty drug money
and I'm buying myself huge diamond earrings and a gold tooth.
- Mom! - I mean it.
Get your ass into a nice Ford and be grateful you're not on rollerblades.
You can buy a sports car when you're 47 and bald.
Agrestic elementary has become a second rate debate school.
We were the regional champions when students like Joel Garrity,
Leon Krantzberg and Larry Chin were debating.
But now it's up to you to uphold their legacy,
to make us the powerhouse we once were...
Isabel!
I need to talk to you, Mr. Wilson.
Does your mother know you're here?
No. And please don't tell her.
Oh, I don't speak to that cunt.
- Your mother and I don't really speak. - That's why I'm here.
I need someone I trust to handle my money.
- What money? - From my commercials.
I'm the new Huskaroo's girl.
The bigger, the better, the Huskaroo sweater?
Yeah, that's gonna be me.
And we're talking big hunks of chedder.
So can you help me, Mr. Wilson?
Well, I could put your money in a trust
but you need at least one parent to be the signatory until you're 18.
That's bullshit, the money's mine!
The state of California says you gotta pick one parent...
My dad.
Your mom really has no idea that you're coming to me?
Can your accountant interest you in a delicious Crunchy?
Yeah!
Are you still angry with me?
No, I'm fine. I'm fine with being a friend.
I'm a fine friend.
I have to fuck you.
Will you stop?
I told you...
You don't have the qualities I look for in a man.
What exactly are those qualities? 'Cause I can get 'em.
I know a guy who knows a guy.
I like big men.
You have none of the physical qualities I look for in a male lover.
But you do have soft skin.
And sad eyes.
And those are things I find very attractive...
when I sleep with women.
Okay.
Well, I do so appreciate
how you respect my dietary laws.
Well, it's fun.
Let's eat!
Look at these lamb chops!
I like pork chops myself.
You know that pig is a filthy animal.
It carries parasites
that live in your intestine
and lay eggs causing all kinds of illness.
Well, them parasites taste damn good to me.
Mrs. Vaneeta, I'm simply trying to educate you.
Why? This ain't muslim school.
That's enough, little girl.
Please, Heylia, let me talk to her.
Your hostility hangs
thick in the air.
What's troubling you?
You coming around here with your "holier than thou" bullshit.
We don't eat this. We don't do that.
We like our women dressed like fucking bee keepers.
My dear child,
maybe you need to take a good hard look at yourself.
Look at your tattoos, your cornrows.
Listen to the language that comes out of your mouth.
You're not a lady.
You don't act like a lady.
And then you wonder why your baby has no father?
Fuck you, you bow tie wearing mother fucker!
Hey now, stop!
Both of you. I just...
Let's just relax and have a good meal.
I am sorry, Heylia.
Perhaps I should be going.
That's the best words coming out of your foul mouth all night.
Joseph!
I'll call you, Heylia.
You got any last words?
Yes.
Where the hell are you?
You're so busy finding fucking couscous on the Internet,
you ain't taking care of your game.
Conrad is never here no more and business is off.
All you can think about is some fancy preaching, pork fearing fat ass.
Heylia, if you wanna drop out and become one of them
lee-lee shrieking Islam ladies,
let me know so I can hire a fucking babysitter
and call Kewon in and get to work.
'Cause everything is going to shit.
What's that?
What does it look like?
You think you can take it?
It's not for me.
It's big.
I know.
That's really big.
It will fit.
- Does it have to be black? - Stop being a pussy.
I thought that was the whole idea.
Don't forget to breathe.
What?
Hey, check it out!
How are the kids?
Conrad?
Got 20 new clippings, we'll see how they do.
You're a genius.
What's wrong?
Been thinking.
About what?
About a little miracle.
Dead smack in the middle of all these houses that get busted and we escape.
Yeah.
Wow.
Were we lucky.
Funny thing about luck.
What's that?
I don't believe in it.
You got something you wanna say to me?
You wanna tell me why our little armenian pal
is suddenly no longer a problem?
I told you I was gonna take care of them.
You're still fucking that DEA guy, aren't you?
- It's not like that. - Well then please...
tell me what it's like.
He's on our side.
You fucking lied to me.
You swore on your children that he didn't know.
He didn't know when I told you. I mean...
he did know but I didn't know that he knew.
Turned out actually that he knew all along but it doesn't...
It doesn't matter, it's okay.
How can you be so fucking sure?
- I have insurance! - Insurance? What?
State Farm got some kind of get out of jail free policy I don't know about?
I married him.
You what?
We're married.
No, it's really clever.
If I'm his wife,
he can't be forced to testify against me and
he married a drug dealer so it's kinda mutually assured destruction.
I have the marriage certificate so we're protected.
You're protected.
Ain't no ring on my finger.
We're partners.
We're partners?
Then why is it that every move you make digs my grave?
- He doesn't know about you. - For how long?
It's just a matter of time.
It's gonna be okay.
How the fuck is this gonna be okay?
You know, Heylia was right.
You just open your big brown eyes and me
I just fall into shit.
What in the hell is this?
The Soft Hell Deluxe.
What the fuck is it doing in my atrium?
I bought it. It's mine.
Really? With what money?
My salary.
- You got a job? - Yeah.
And why didn't you tell me? Doing what?
I'm Isabel's manager.
Oh, no. No. No, no, no, no.
Yes, I am. Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
You're a lawyer, Dean. You need to find lawyer work.
Kill all the lawyers.
God, how did I get here?
What have I done?
This is not my life!
Same as it ever was.
Where were you?
Driving around.
Felt good.
Silas...
It's 4:30 in the morning.
You're not allowed to stay out this late.
I know. I'm sorry. I'll keep better track of time next time.
Well...
Good.
- Mom. - Yeah.
What you do and all...
Yeah?
I'm cool with it.
Fish and game officials tranquilized the bear
who fell out of the tree but was not injured.
Watch this!
No, watch this.
Where did you get this?
You e-mailed it to Dean as a joke.
Oh, yeah. It's pretty funny.
Won't be so funny when I bulk mail it to every voter in Agrestic.
Ooh!
I'm shaking.
Well, you should be.
Because when I'm done, you won't be able to get a sit
in a chair factory.
Unless you prefer to save yourself some major embarrassment
and not to mention potential criminal charges
by making me the signatory on Isabel's account
instead of Harley Davidstein.
All I need is one parent and Davistein beat you to the punch.
I will not allow you and Dean to take control of my daughter's finance.
- Just following her orders. - Her orders?
Isabel came to me and I explained to her
that she needed to make a choice between you
or Dean or both you and Dean.
And it took her...
half a second to decide.
- Really? - She hates you.
My God, too bad she can't vote.
Well, you know, Isabel and I have had our differences.
She hates you.
Just like I hate you.
So you know what?
Go ahead and bulk mail your heart out.
See you.
Hi, welcome to Thurdays. How many?
Oh, I'm here to meet someone.
Well, would you like to have a seat?
- Hey, there. - Nancy.
Welcome to Thursday's. How many?
Table for 3.
Okay, first things first.
I wanna apologize.
I didn't think either of you would show
if I told you in advance so I lied.
I'm a liar.
I'm sorry, Conrad. I'm sorry, Peter.
This should have happened a lot sooner.
That's my fault. Again, I apologize. So if you have
any angers, then anger it this way.
Nancy...
who is this person?
This is Conrad. My business partner.
No, I am not.
I am just another out of work black man. As a matter of fact,
I've never seen this woman before in my life.
It's okay.
Really.
Why are we here?
Conrad had some issues with our arrangement
and I thought it'd be better if we met
and we got to know each other.
Conrad, the floor is yours. Ask Peter anything.
- I don't think so. - Peter, please.
- You're the husband? - I am.
And you're the... partner.
Conrad.
Why risk your whole fucking career, man?
I'm half in trouble wrapping my head around that part.
I do it for her.
Now it's my turn to have my question answered.
How did this partnership begin?
My kid bit her kid at a karate tournament.
- It's funny. - Guys!
Your boys at the DEA, do they know about me?
I wouldn't know. Probably not, you're small time.
Nobody knows about anybody, okay?
Conrad is my friend and my business partner.
This was just sort of dropped into my lap. I had not anticipated this.
I know. I'm sorry, I just thought we should work things out
so that we could all move forward.
How the fuck is this supposed to work out?
Off the top of my head, I would say,
don't expand further than the grow house
and take your harvest directly the medical marijuana clubs.
And you don't want a piece?
I don't want any money.
I just want Nancy.
And I'm just supposed to trust you.
Oh, you don't have to trust me. Trust your partner.
Who happens to be my partner.
So by the transitive property of partner trust,
we can trust each other.
See...
All gonna be fine.
Right?
Transcript/Synchro: Travis - www.forom.com -
www.tvsubtitles.net