Subtitles - Ripped (and Hacked) by RavyDavy - Part of the [RL] Crew
After two weeks in Paris...
it was time for the ultimate in sophisticated French fare.
Meeting your lover and his ex-wife for lunch.
Hello, I'm Juliet. Juliet Bellajoux.
Hello, I'm Carrie. It's nice to finally meet you.
- Sit. - Thank you.
Well, if I'm fashionably late, then Alek is very fashionable.
Yes, he's always very fashionable.
What a beautiful bag.
Thank you. It's vintage.
The silk lining's about a hundred million years old...
but I'm so in love with it.
We'll get along perfectly. I represent accessories for the collections.
Wow, Aleks never mentioned what work you did.
Sorry.
Mr. Fashionable. Hello?
Sincere apologies. Crisis at the museum.
Some gigantic technical problem with sculpture number something.
Nothing else exists when art does. Yes?
Wow, this is a fantastic restaurant.
Yes? It used to be, not so much anymore.
The chairs, they're hideous. Hideous.
Good morning, Chanel.
Chanello!
I'm going to shoplift, just so he can feel me up.
I need something simple to wear for when we meet the birth parents.
Where is this couple from again?
Charlotte, North Carolina. I think it's a good sign.
Love it. Very TV-movie-of-the-week.
Stylish, socialite couple...
opens up their Park Avenue home to the dumb, toothless yokels.
- They're not dumb or toothless. - In my movie they are.
And you'd be played by Barbara Parkins, circa Valley of the Dolls.
- Thank you. - And I'd be played by Colin Farrell.
- Do you think you look like Colin Farrell? - It's my movie!
So in your movie, how big is my part? Bit or supporting?
What?
I'll still be in your life, right?
Because once people have the babies...
Stop. You will always be in my life, Colin Farrell.
Good.
Can you believe this is finally happening? I hope nothing goes wrong.
Well, if it does, I know some gays that got a Guatemalan kid for $100.
A touch of this blonde is going to be perfection.
It's called "ash."
Well, save a little for him, because he is one hot piece of ash.
Right.
Well?
Sexy.
Very sexy.
Come here, you.
Please, sir, my hair.
Are we ever going to talk about the fact that we haven't had sex in a long time?
And you're bringing this up here?
My therapist said not to mention it in bed.
Therapist? Since when have you been seeing a therapist?
I just thought I should get some help to deal with all this cancer stuff.
I'm not complaining. I just think we should talk about it.
Well, I have absolutely no sex drive. You're leaving town to do a movie.
What's the point of talking about it right now?
Samantha, I see two pairs of feet in there. You had better not be doing it.
We're not.
Yeah, right. That'd be a first.
I must admit, I have been dying to meet you.
I begged Aleks to organize a dinner with us...
but he said, "As soon as the exhibit opens, we'll all sit down."
"As soon as." If I hear this phrase one more time...
So how is my beloved?
He's wonderful. He's a bit stressed, but...
Well, yes. He is very sensitive.
Can I just say, I think it's lovely...
that you both think so highly of one another.
Why not?
We had a wonderful marriage, while it lasted.
But I believe a relationship is like couture.
If it doesn't fit perfectly, it's a disaster.
And I couldn't quite get used to always coming second.
It was not for me.
Would you like a cigarette?
Well, yes, I would. Thank you.
I thought you might be one of those Americans who didn't smoke...
and I would be, how do you say...
guilty of killing you over lunch.
Chloe tells me you were a writer in New York?
No, I am a writer.
Until recently, I had a weekly column in New York.
It became a book. It's even been published here.
Brilliant.
- And Aleks is comfortable with that? - God, yes, he's very supportive.
Then people change.
- It's good. - Can you hold this?
Aren't you going to say anything about the fact that I'm smoking?
Everybody smokes in Paris.
Someone got a rave review.
- Your reviews are out already? - No, and please don't remind me.
I'm referring to you. Juliet was impressed.
She said you're beautiful, smart, and chic.
- Sorry. The museum. I have to go. - Again? It's been like this all week.
I thought we at least had the morning together.
I have to go.
Is this going to be every day?
Carrie, I am under so much pressure. Don't make me feel worse than I do.
I'm not trying to make you feel worse.
I said nothing when you left me alone with your wife.
I know it's inconvenient for you right now, but I promise...
there will be more time for us as soon as this exhibit opens. Okay?
That's better. Look, we are in Paris. It's so beautiful.
Go and walk around. Take the driver, go everywhere.
No, you take the driver. I'll walk around and do French things, be very Parisian.
Okay.
See you.
I like the smoking, it's very sexy.
It's killing me!
Oh, God!
Isn't it amazing, Ma?
The whole house is coming together.
What's little Stevie doing over there?
What? That's Brady. I'm right here. What are you talking about?
Does my mother seem odd to you?
You might want to rephrase that.
No, I'm serious. She looks all loopy, and she's disoriented.
Steve, it's called the one-too-many-beer syndrome.
No, her eyes aren't focusing or something.
- I'm worried. - Really?
Ma, you want some ice cream?
Don't let little Stevie have any strawberry.
Mary, that's Brady.
What are you talking about? I know that's Brady.
But who the hell are you?
I'm going to run her down to the emergency room and check it out.
It can't hurt, right?
Want to go for a walk?
If it's a movie about Attila the Hun, why are they filming in Canada?
Cheaper.
And it's pretty much just open space.
Which means nowhere to go, and nothing to do for the next eight weeks.
Listen to me. The operative word being "listen."
I want you to feel free to have sex while you're on location.
- Are we here again? After everything? - No, we are not here again.
I'm not trying to push you away, I'm trying to keep you.
If anyone knows how important sex is to a person, it's me.
- Correction. Was me. - It's the chemo.
Your body just needs time to heal itself. It'll be back.
It's like winter.
Just because the trees are bare doesn't mean they're dead.
- Along comes spring, and bam! - I want you to have sex.
I'm serious.
I know what we have. Sex is just sex. I understand that.
I don't want to just have sex.
You say that now.
But when you're riding a horse all day, wearing animal fur...
and you see some sexy Canadian extra...
in a slave-girl outfit...
feel free to pillage her.
- Samantha. - Don't be so provincial!
You're playing a barbarian, for fuck's sake.
Step up there, Ma, come on. There you go, all right.
- You want to watch some TV? - Yeah.
- I'll be in there in a minute. - It's cold outside.
So it was nothing, right?
The doctor said she had a small stroke.
She's got significant memory loss.
God, when did it happen?
Best he can tell, maybe a week ago.
But nobody knows, 'cause she's been home alone.
I want her to stay here with us tonight.
So I'm going to run and grab her nightgown and stuff.
She wants her own stuff.
I'll go with you.
Magda can stay here with them.
I'm so sorry.
Magda!
Jesus Christ.
What's been going on here?
Didn't you notice?
No, she's always waiting for me to pick her up downstairs.
Fucking cockroach!
Okay, well, this stops right now.
My ma can't live like this.
I'll get a maid or a nurse or something. Someone to live with her full-time.
Nurses do that, right? You can hire them to do that, right?
My ma can't live like this.
Your mother can come live with us.
She can?
Sure.
Why else do we have that big house?
Carrie Bradshaw! You are Sex and the City writer?
I love Sex and the City!
I am, how you say, the single girl.
Sex and the City!
I have the sex, she has the sex. We all have the sex.
We want to make a party for you. Saturday night.
Apparently, I fell right into my French fan base.
Both of them. And they were so fun and silly.
And they insisted on throwing a party in my honor.
They want me to meet their friends, who supposedly love the book as well.
Anyway, it's nothing terribly fancy.
Just a cozy dinner in a quaint hotel in Paris, with my ten new French friends.
This is what I love about Paris. You never know where the day will lead you.
I know. Anyway, the party's Saturday night...
at La Petite Auberge on the Rue St. -André-Des-Arts.
- Very good. - Are you up for it?
I can't, darling.
That's the night I unveil my show to the museum curator and staff.
But you go and have a wonderful time...
with the throngs of screaming fans.
Well, I don't mind if I do. Do you think they'll really be screaming?
- I hope so. - So do I!
And we'd turn the office back there into the baby's room.
Would anyone like more lox?
Is that the fish?
We're within blocks of the best grammar schools in Manhattan.
Not that we would ever let him or her go alone.
Her.
- It's a her. We just found out. - It's a girl?
Honey, it's a girl!
I always wanted a girl.
We weren't going to ask, 'cause I didn't want to know about it...
but then I was there, and they asked me if I wanted to know...
and I said yes.
Ever since then, I've been thinking about little girl names.
I like Tiffany, Brittany.
Wayne says I like any name with a "ny" on the end.
We're not getting the baby, are we?
We changed our minds.
We're awful sorry.
If you knew this before...
why did you come here and put us through all this?
We'd never seen New York.
What are you doing in here all this time?
I'm writing an angry e-mail to our baby lawyer.
She warned us about this kind of thing.
How much more can we take?
It's okay.
That's not our baby.
Our baby's still coming.
I'm beginning to think God lost our address.
Come on, honey.
We're Jews.
We've been through worse than this.
And someone got some flowers delivered.
Samantha Jones.
I'll tell her you called.
What's up, babe?
I just got your flowers. They're so beautiful.
Did you get the card?
Yes.
And you know how I said you could have sex...
with someone else? Well...
if it would be okay with you, try not to.
Unless you already have, and then that's fine.
I didn't. I won't.
I don't mean to be a wet blanket...
but how about don't?
Cool.
Okay, you gorgeous Russian, I'm off!
Good luck at the museum...
What's wrong?
It's the cufflink, and it's something with my hands.
It's just, I think I'm having an anxiety attack or something.
I don't know.
Breathe. Here.
Put your head between your legs and breathe.
I can't go, I can't.
Why? What brought this on?
What if they think...
I'm the old man with the silly light machines?
Here, let me do this for you.
The curator's 27 years old. Can you believe it?
Stop.
Look at me.
You will be fine.
Will you go with me?
But...
I have my party.
Please, I need you there.
I don't have anybody's telephone number to call and cancel.
No, you go.
You're right, I'll be okay, I'll be fine.
I'll be fine, yeah.
No, I'll go.
- You will? - It's important to you.
Thank you, my darling. And promise not to let go all night.
Yes, that's a train.
I want to take little Stevie to the zoo.
This is not Steve, this is Brady. Steve's all grown up.
Some days she's perfectly clear...
and then she'll have a bad couple days, like now.
- How are you handling all this? - Not very well.
Steve is amazing.
He gets home from the bar late, and then he's with her all day.
- Let's get ready to go to the zoo! - This is the zoo.
I think you're amazing.
Mama.
And I think you're amazing! Yes, I do.
Why was her coat on?
Shit!
Mary!
Shit.
- Where did she go? - I don't know. The Bronx Zoo?
Shit, stay with the baby. Shit!
Oh, fuck.
The one place in Paris you can't smoke.
Perfect. A hole in my Dior.
What?
Tell that man that I had to go!
Taxi!
Mary!
This pizza tastes like garbage.
Yeah, it's bad.
It's cold. We're going to go. Go home.
I'm still hungry, you know.
That feels good.
Where did you go?
I went to my party.
I thought as much.
- How was it? - Over.
It was over.
I'm sorry.
How could you just abandon me like that, when I gave up my party to be with you?
I didn't abandon you.
I sat on a bench, alone, in a museum.
Let's not do this now. I'm tired. I had a stressful day.
I'm in this relationship, too!
I am a person in this relationship!
Have you any idea what it's been like for me here?
Eating alone and waiting for my boyfriend...
who would rather spend time with a light installation?
That's what I do. That's who I am.
You always knew this.
I had a life in New York.
I had a job and friends.
I didn't give all of that up to come here and wander the streets of Paris alone!
Okay. I'm taking a shower, and then to bed.
We'll talk more as soon as you...
- No, not as soon as... - Please, Carrie!
It was an accident. I didn't mean to.
Oh, my necklace.
I'm so sorry.
I thought I was clear all along...
about who I am.
Maybe it's time to be clear about who I am.
I am someone who is looking for love.
Real love.
Ridiculous...
inconvenient...
consuming...
can't-live-without-each-other love.
And...
I don't think...
that love is here...
in this expensive suite...
in this lovely hotel in Paris.
It's not your fault. It's my fault.
I shouldn't have come here.
Please, don't.
I'm fine.
Thank you.
I'm sorry, mademoiselle, but we have only double rooms available.
Well, I'm a single, and it will be fine.
Let me see, just a minute.
Hi.
Why the tears?
Paris is a mess.
I never should have come here.
Everything fell apart.
We had a big fight...
and then I got slapped.
You got what?
No, he didn't mean it. It was an accident.
- He slapped you? - What? No. It's not like that.
I'll kick his ass.
What? No!
- What room are you in? - I'm not telling you that.
I see you were in room 625.
Room 625? Thank you.
Wait, stop! What are you...
Stop! What do you think you're doing?
I think I'm kicking some Russian ass.
What? No, it's not like that!
- You've got it completely wrong. - We'll see about that.
I don't need you to do this.
Stop! This is totally unnecessary.
What do you think you're doing?
Stop, slow down. You're going to have a heart attack.
I mean it, I took care of this myself. I don't need you to rescue me!
Listen, I'm clocking this foreigner, and there's nothing you can do to stop me.
I've got to hand it to you, kid.
Most people come to Paris to fall in love. You came and got slapped.
Why is that funny?
- Are you cold? - No, I'm still in shock.
This is so surreal.
How did you even get here?
It took me a really long time to get here.
But I'm here.
Carrie, you're the one.
Kiss me, you big crybaby.
I miss New York. Take me home.
Hi, honey.
I'm a bad wife. I ordered Chinese.
I got something from China, too.
- They're giving us a baby. - What?
How?
I guess God remembered our address. We get her in six months.
Here she is.
That's our baby.
I know it.
That's really our baby.
What you did...
that is love.
You love.
Let's not make a big deal of it to Steve. It'd just upset him.
Hey, babe.
I flew back.
You flew all night? Why?
I forgot to tell you something on the phone.
I love you.
You flew back to tell me that?
Can you think of a better reason?
No, I can't.
You have meant more to me than any man I've ever known.
Thank you. Thanks.
You know, I don't live here anymore...
and the Four Seasons won't check you in until 1:00.
Did you want to come up?
Abso-fucking-lutely.
Oh, my God!
Later that day, I got to thinking about relationships.
There are those that open you up to something new and exotic...
those that are old and familiar...
those that bring up lots of questions...
those that bring you somewhere unexpected...
those that bring you far from where you started...
and those that bring you back.
But the most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all...
is the one you have with yourself.
And if you find someone to love the "you" you love...
- What's shaking, baby? - How's Napa?
The house is on the market. Look out, New York, I'm a-coming.
...well, that's just fabulous.
Ripped by RavyDavy part of the [RL] Crew