Well, that thing's clearly in the way.
All right.
Damn fridge!
-Hi, Joey. How you doing? -Great...
roomie.
-I guess we are roommates. -I know.
Now that you bring it up, our fridge is broken.
We need a new one.
I checked and your half is $400. Thanks a lot.
I'm not paying for that.
I'm just here while they fix my place.
Look, Rach, my parents bought this fridge just after I was born. Okay?
I have never had a problem with it. Then you show up and it breaks!
What does that tell you?
That refrigerators don't live as long as people?
You know the ATM only lets you take out 300, so...
I'll take a check for the rest.
You're joking, right?
Of course I'm joking. I don't take checks.
Thank God, you're pretty.
The One With Joey's Fridge
Hi! Do you guys know any cute guys?
Of course. My good friend Joey over here.
I'm sorry. Thank you, Chandler.
There's a charity ball and Ralph Lauren has a table...
so I have to go.
-What charity? -I don't know.
Something, either trees or disease...
Ralph mumbles a lot.
-He mumbles when you're not attentive? -Yeah. It's weird.
But I need to find a date.
What kind of date?
Someone that has his own tux or the ability to rent a tux.
So he has to be a male who has at least $50.
So close.
-Hey, everybody! -Hi, there.
-This is Elizabeth. -Hi, Elizabeth.
I'm the student.
Isn't she cute? Nope.
Weren't you guys supposed to...
not be seen together?
We aren't.
We just happen to have run into each other here.
This is...
Oh, sly!
I wanted to meet you guys, but I have to run.
-See you later? -Okay.
-Bye, Ross. -Bye. See you.
-Didn't mean to run into you, sir. -That's quite all right, ma'am.
Bye.
Why is she leaving? Is it a school night and she has homework?
Yes. Her molecular epidemiology paper is due tomorrow.
Tell her good luck with that.
Anyone else? Bring them on.
-When's her birthday? -I don't know. Why?
It's just been so long since I've been to Chuck E. Cheese.
-I like Elizabeth. -Well, thanks.
I like her so much, tell her I want my cookies early this year.
A box of Thin Mints and some Tagalongs.
Give him a break. Ross, how's it going with her?
It's been great.
She's 20, so she's not too serious, which is perfect for me now.
That's great. Seriously, she seems nice.
I know you guys like to give me a hard time...
but it means a lot to me.
-Just knowing.. -Okay, I got a good one.
What is she, like, 12?
Chandler, do we talk about our relationship enough?
Yeah. Do we have any Fruit Roll-Ups?
Okay.
I thought of the perfect guy for Rachel to take to her thing.
That's so funny. We found someone too.
Good. She'll have a choice between my guy and your weirdo.
-Why would our guy be a weirdo? -Because that's just your taste.
See, Rachel's not gonna pick your stupid guy.
-Yeah? -Yeah.
My guy is a lawyer, who does volunteer work.
And he has one of these.
A face ass?
A chin dimple.
Well, you know, our guy works with Chandler.
He's really nice and smart, and he's a great dresser.
-Have you seen your guy's body? -No. Our guy's just a floating head.
Well, my guy is spectacular. He's a massage client.
And one time, when he was on the table, I looked at it. And I mean all of it.
-You're not supposed to look. -Like there are police for that.
You look? You massaged me.
I know.
Fine. Your guy may have a great body, but our guy is really funny.
Chandler funny?
-Our guy's a great dancer. -My guy's well-read.
-Our guy has great hair. -My guy has great teeth.
Our guy smells incredible.
Do you want our guy to be your guy?
Well, you don't look good, Joe.
The fridge broke, so I had to eat everything.
Cold cuts, ice cream, limes.
What was in that brown jar?
-That's still in there? -Not anymore.
So anyway, how do you want to pay me?
Is this a service you're providing me?
No, for my new fridge. For our new fridge.
Our new fridge?
-I don't live here anymore. -So what?
Look, okay, suppose we were a divorced couple.
And I got custody of the kid. Right?
Now suppose the kid dies and I gotta buy a new kid.
Okay.
Give me $400!
Thank God, you're pretty.
Professor Geller?
Oh, a student I don't know.
I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment?
Yes, of course. What would this be regarding?
Making out in your office.
Of course. Why don't we go inside.
-What? -Doorknob.
Sorry.
I actually do need to talk to you.
What about?
-Spring vacation? -Spring vacation?
Yeah, we have time off, and a lot of people are going on trips..
-Professor Geller. -Yes, Professor Friesenstinlender.
I'll be with you in one moment.
So I will take one box of the Thin Mints.
You don't understand. Elizabeth was about to ask me to go on a trip with her.
Is that taking it slow? I'm not ready for this.
-What do I tell her? -Tell her the truth, tell her you're not ready.
I could do that.
-What if she gets upset? -Then you distract her with a Barbie doll.
Or you could just, you know, you...
What the hell are you doing?
What the hell am I doing? You just broke my fridge!
What? How do..?
How do you know it's even broken?
You think I don't know what breaks my fridge?
Excuse me!
Well, what do you know?
Broken!
That'll be $400.
Joey, I saw you push him.
You pushed him.
Joey, I did not break this. Okay? That has been broken for a while.
Remember I told you about our fridge?
I still haven't gotten the check for your half yet.
Do not give him any money!
I'm not talking to you! You broke my fridge!
-You wanted to see me, Professor Geller? -Yes. Please come in.
-Doorknob? -Yeah. It kind of grows on you.
I wanted to finish talking to you about spring vacation.
Good.
Look, I...
Look, I'm having a great time with you.
And I just don't want us to move too fast or put too much pressure on us.
So I'm sorry, I just don't think we should go away together yet.
It's too soon.
Ross, I think you misunderstood what I was saying.
I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to Florida for a couple weeks.
No.
I think you misunderstood what I was saying.
What I meant was..
You are so adorable.
That. Let's talk about that.
-Hi. -Hi.
How did it go with Elizabeth?
Fine. Just a misunderstanding. She didn't want me to go with her.
She just wanted to let me know she's going to Florida for a spring vacation.
Wait a minute. Is she going for spring vacation or spring break? Wahoo!
What's the difference?
Spring vacation, you're doing nice things with your grandparents.
Spring break, you're doing frat guys.
You know what? Not all spring breaks are like that.
-What did you do on yours? -I went to Egypt with my dad.
I can see it now. "Look, Dad, it's the Sphinx, wahoo!"
I think Elizabeth is a little more serious than: "Spring break, wahoo!"
Come on, she's taking my class.
-And slept with the professor. -I'm gonna call her.
You guys, I want you to meet Sebastian.
We met at the newsstand. We both grabbed for the last Field and Stream.
What? I read that.
-Can I get you a cup of coffee? -Yes. Thank you.
-Rachel, what the hell is this? -What?
You ask us to find a guy, and you come traipsing in here with a guy of your own?
You found me a guy?
Yes. We found you a really cute, funny guy from Chandler's work.
Yeah, and I found you one too, who is not a weirdo.
You know what though, guys, I really appreciate that...
but I'm gonna take Sebastian.
Are you sure? Our guy smells incredible.
Would you stop it with that already?
-Here you go. -Thank you.
So, Sebastian, do you do any volunteer work?
-Not really. Why? -No reason.
I know a single guy who does care about other people.
Are you funny?
-Excuse me? -What are you guys doing?
Are you funny? Tell us a joke!
I just wanted to have coffee with Rachel.
Well, so do a lot of people.
-Actually, I gotta get going. -But you..
-Give me a call sometime. -You didn't give me your phone number.
Okay, see you later.
Turns out he is kind of funny.
I cannot believe you guys!
He was really nice, and he just left because of you!
Yeah, but "Sebastian"? What is that, a cat's name?
You know what I noticed, Rachel? He scares easy.
Is that the kind of guy you wanna take to a ball?
"Hey, Sebastian, would you like to dance?"
"Okay. I gotta go."
Stop it. Rachel, we're very sorry.
That is a very insensitive thing to do.
Let us make it up to you. We have two really great guys for you.
Yeah, what have you got to lose?
You might even end up with someone really special. If you pick my guy.
-All right. -So you will meet our guys?
Yes.
It doesn't matter which one you choose. It's up to you.
Our guy is perfect.
Or you could go out with the guy Phoebe deemed not good enough for herself.
There you are! You broke my fridge.
You owe me $400.
-Okay, sure. -Really?
Technically, you owe me $600 for sending out happy thoughts...
on your last 10 auditions.
Call it even?
Okay.
There you are.
What did Elizabeth say?
Turns out she is going to Daytona for "spring break, wahoo."
That means wet T-shirt contests, guys doing shots off of girls' bodies...
waking up with strangers.
She is gonna have a great time!
Is she staying at the Hotel Corona?
-You know the hotels? -I was there! Spring Break '81, wahoo!
In 1981, you were 13.
So? I drove down, sold T-shirts. Had a blast.
You know who knows how to party? Drunk college chicks.
Okay, she can't go.
You can't tell her not to go. You just started dating.
-What am I supposed to do? -You just have to be cool with it.
What if she goes down there and sleeps with a bunch of guys?
Well, maybe you don't marry this one.
I'm sorry, this is very serious. And you know what, Ross?
You like her, she likes you, everything's gonna be fine.
You're right. I'm probably overreacting.
It's just she's staying at this party hotel on the beach...
with a huge pool and free drinks with every meal.
If she's got enough money for that, she can certainly pat for the fridge she broke.
I'm so glad you're going on this trip.
I've been working so hard this semester.
I really need to go crazy, blow off some steam.
Sure.
Look, I don't know if your plans are finalized yet, but...
I know a great way to blow off steam.
-What? -Are you into crafts at all?
Ross, are you okay?
Yeah. Of course I'm okay.
I'm just being supportive.
Supportive of you and this whole trip...
and what's this?
It's a bathing suit?
To wear in front of people?
Is that supportive?
Is this?
Okay, good.
-Hey. -Hi.
We're so glad you decided to meet our guy. You'll like him so much.
-When do you want to meet him? -I don't know.
-I don't work late tomorrow night. -Tomorrow night is good.
But why put off something till tomorrow that you could do it right now?
-Eldad, come here! -What?
-This is Rachel. -How are you?
A little blindsided but good.
Eldad, sit down. Move over now.
There you go. There you are.
Okay, we can take a hint!
What? What are you doing here?
This is Patrick.
-Hi. -Hi.
You're too late because she's already with our guy.
You're right, I am too late. They're sitting on the couch and talking.
Come on.
Rachel? This is Patrick.
-Hi. -Hi.
This is the guy I was telling you about.
This suit does not do justice to what's underneath it.
Okay.
But, Phoebe, I'm just sort of in the middle of something.
Okay. That's okay. Have a seat.
-You can't do that! -I should go.
Sit down, we're winning.
Maybe I should go.
No. Have a seat!
Rachel, you haven't touched Eldad's hair.
-He has the softest hair. Touch it. -I'm good.
Rachel, Patrick is really rich. Give her some money.
This isn't really worth the free massage.
-That's right. Bye-bye. -No.
Eldad is much more cooperative, and he can dance.
You dance for Rachel.
Don't dance for me. Please!
What is the matter with you?
Yeah, let's talk it out.
Am I the only one that this is embarrassing for?
I'm a little embarrassed.
I'll tell you who should be embarrassed. It's you guys.
I do not need you to get me a date.
-Why did she ask us to..? -I am still talking!
Then you chase away the one guy I actually liked.
No offense to you guys. Really, congratulations on...
all the cash.
And you really do have very soft hair.
But I'd much rather go to the ball by myself than go through any more of this.
Goodbye.
Now, do you use some sort of special conditioner on that hair?
Papaya extract.
Thank you.
So have a great time down there.
-I will. -Yeah.
-Did you pack that bathing suit? -Yeah.
It was pretty funny when I hid it for a while.
Anyway.
I am worried about that suit.
Not because it's revealing, which I'm fine with.
I'm concerned about your health.
Sun exposure.
Don't worry, I have plenty of sun block.
-It's SPF 30. -All right.
Well, if what's in the bottle is actually 30.
Sometimes you get 30, sometimes it's 4 and...
more often than not, it's just milk.
Ross, it's gonna be okay.
I'm not going down there to hook up with a bunch of guys.
I really like you.
I like how things are going between us.
-Really? -Yeah.
I'm just going down there to relax and hang out with my friends.
Okay. Cool.
Here they are!
Call me!
Sorry for pushing those guys on you.
That's all right. I ended up having a really good time.
The charity was a big success, and they raised a lot of money and awareness.
So, what was it for anyway?
I wanna say a disease.
I just got this really weird message from Ross. He said to turn on MTV.
Oh, my God, look! That's Elizabeth!
Professor Geller.
To be 13 again....