Why is everybody using these tiny, little lights nowadays?
I remember when people used big ones.
That's a good story, Grandpa.
Wow. Monica's letting other people help decorate her tree?
Did someone get her drunk again, or...?
Having a perfect tree is not what Christmas is about.
It's about being with loved ones.
That is nice. And we're done. Ta-da!
It just doesn't quite feel like Christmas to me.
Oh, here.
See, now it feels like Christmas.
The One With The Routine
And that's the story of the dreidel.
Some people trace the Christmas tree to the Egyptians...
who'd bring palm branches into huts on the shortest day of the year...
symbolizing life's triumph over death.
And that was, like, 4000 years ago.
Around the same time that you started this story.
-Hey, you guys. -Hey. What's up?
I had to get out of the apartment. Janine's stretching all over.
Everywhere I look she's like....
I can see why that's hard to resist.
I like her so much.
I'm sorry she doesn't feel the same.
I know. And she's so sweet.
I just want to feed her grapes and brush her hair.
You are aware that she's not a monkey, right?
I am so over Janine.
Yeah, at first I thought she was hot, but now she's like old news.
-Hey, guys. -Janine!
I'm gonna be a dancer on a TV special for New Year's Eve.
It's called some sort of Dickin' Rockin' Dicky Eve.
Hold it.
Are you talking about Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve?
Yeah, that's what I said.
Oh, my God, we love that show!
Ross and I have been watching it since I can remember.
You're still just a little fat girl inside, aren't you?
I'm gonna be one of the party people.
You're gonna be a party person? Those guys rock the most!
They said to bring someone. Want to be my dance partner?
I would love to spend New Year's with you.
They're taping tomorrow. I don't understand why..
Well, how it works is...
the part with Dick Clark in Times Square is actually live.
But they tape some of the party stuff ahead of time.
Not a lot of people know that.
Do you guys want to come too?
-Are you serious? -We are there!
What are you laughing at?
Well, I used to date him, but you're still going out with her.
Thanks. Great, so we can all go together.
I gotta run. I'll catch you later.
Bye, Janine.
Did she just ask me out on a date?
I don't think so.
She invited him to the biggest party of the millennium.
Yeah, but she also invited you and Ross.
I'm sorry, I don't think that that was a romantic thing.
Well, maybe. But, hey, I know how I can find out.
It's a New Year's Eve party.
So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great.
If she says, "What are you doing?"
I can say, "lt wasn't me, it was New Year's."
That's better than Ross kissing me in high school...
and saying that he did it because he needed Chap Stick.
It was a dry day.
We are going to Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve!
Oh, my God!
Okay, I've been on sets before...
so let me give you some advice.
It's a show, but we're just dancing. It's no big deal.
Important thing to remember: Stay cool.
-Got it. -Okay.
Oh, my God! It's just like I dreamed it!
Everyone! Gather up!
-Excuse us! -Excuse us!
The music's gonna start, you're gonna dance...
we'll tape it. Don't look at the camera. Questions?
Yeah, I have a question. When is this gonna air?
Yeah. Now, you guys dance over there...
you guys, over there. I want you two here.
Everyone else, spread out.
We'd rather not dance together because we're brother and sister.
Yeah, it would seem kind of weird.
As weird as coming all the way down here and then having to go home right now?
So when is it gonna air?
You look in the kitchen, I got the closet.
I can save you time, ladies. I'm right here.
Yeah. Why don't you take a walk? This doesn't concern you.
We're looking for our presents from Monica.
That's terrible.
No, we do it every year.
Oh, well, that makes it not terrible.
Yeah, we never find them.
She's always bested us, that wily...minx.
We'll search here for an hour...
and then we'll go to Joey's and search, okay?
-You can't look for Monica's presents. -We have to.
You don't have to. And you can't, because I live here too.
Well, then you should look with us.
Why?
Aren't you worried about what to get Monica?
No, I have a great idea for her present.
Oh, that's it? A great idea? Oh, yeah?
What if she gets you a great present...
two mediums and lots of little ones...
and you just get her one present? She'll feel bad.
Why would you do that to her? Why? Why?
-If I help, we can find them faster! -Right!
We have a live one!
-Oh, it's a Macy's bag! -Yeah.
Who's it for?
"Dear losers, do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch?
P.S. Chandler, I knew they'd break you."
Uh-oh. She may be onto us.
We are so gonna find them this year.
You said you'd go across the hall and look. Do you do that every year?
Yeah.
You don't go into the back of my closet...
and look under my gym bag or anything?
-No. Never do that. -No.
That's where Joey gave me stuff to store that I've never seen.
Okay, that did not just happen.
Here comes a camera.
Right. No biggie. Stay loose.
Why do they keep doing that?
We have to get up on one of those platforms.
They've been taping them all day.
Right.
What'd you guys do to get up on there?
We learned how to dance.
When you learned to dance, did you forget how to put on underpants?
Yeah!
-Hey, you're a good dancer. -Really?
You'd be better if you loosened your hips.
-What do you mean? -Like this.
That's it. Feel the rhythm. That's better.
You're dancing with her.
-We're together. -Yeah, we came together.
I don't see it.
You are dancing with the tall guy. Tall guy, raise your hand!
Hey, buddy. Let me dance with her. I like her, and I think I have a shot.
Really, you think so? I don't.
I couldn't find anything.. Hey, wait!
Yeah, we found them.
They were in the guest-room closet.
You have nothing to worry about because they're crap.
Those are mine. I got those for you.
Oh. Thanks, Chandler, they're great!
Chandler, what is this very weird metal A-Z thing?
Those are bookends. That's a great gift.
Oh. Okay, I'm sorry. Thank you for my "az."
Make sure you put all that stuff back in the closet.
Yes, okay.
By the way, I think it's really nice of you that even after you moved...
you still keep storing that stuff for Joey.
Hey, dancing girl?
Can I go to the bathroom?
Here we go. Yeah.
Looking good, Gellers!
We know!
That snippy guy's the one who decides who gets on the platform.
-We should go dance by him. -Okay.
Okay, everybody, hold!
Next on the platforms are....
You two! And....
-You two! -Cool!
Excuse me, sir?
Would it help if I weren't wearing underpants?
Monica!
Would it?
How about me?
Hey, tall guy!
I want to talk to you about that girl you're dancing with.
She's nice, huh? To think I almost brought my wife to this.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Look, I came with that girl, okay?
I plan to kiss her at the New Year's countdown.
I'm trying to win her over. I..
I don't think so.
You can dance with my partner.
She's real mellow.
Look, you dating this girl you came with?
I was hoping after tonight that maybe I could....
No. No. She's fair game if you ask me. Sorry, buddy.
All right. Hey.
Fair is fair. When you're right, you're right. What can I say?
Are you in second grade?
Hey, man, you're the one who wet his pants.
Monica would not hide the presents down here.
No, but she did. Look, there's that old hippie I've always wanted.
If they are here, Gunther knows about it.
And I could get it out of him. He's had a huge crush on me.
That's not fair to play with his head, though. You do it.
Okay.
Hey, Gunther.
Hi.
Getting to be that holiday time again, huh?
Yes, it's like a miracle.
I was thinking, since it's the time of giving gifts...
I was wondering, are there any presents around here for me?
You know what I mean?
-I think I found them. -That's the Toys for Tots collection bin.
-That's awfully convenient, don't you think? -For the tots it is.
-Hey, you guys, guess what. -Did you find them?
No, Gunther fainted.
Man, this sucks.
If Mom and Dad don't see us on TV after we made them jealous...
then who's gonna be the losers then?
I know what'll get us up on a platform.
What?
The routine!
We haven't done the routine since middle school.
When the snippy guy sees the routine...
he'll want to build us our own platform.
Was it that good?
We got honorable mention in the brother/sister dance category!
It's almost fake midnight. Do we really have any other choice?
Okay, let's do it.
Mom and Dad are gonna be so faced!
Five, six, seven, eight!
So do we really need to ask who's going up on the platform next?
You get up there and do that again, exactly like that.
Get this. Dick will want it for the Bloopers show.
All right, cut! Listen up, everyone!
When we start again, it'll be the countdown...
so I want to see everybody's excitement!
Hey, guy!
You got three seconds to get away.
What's going on here?
Take a look at the guy's pants!
You told us to show excitement, but don't you think he went overboard?
What's the matter with you? Go!
Yeah, take a hike, wet pants!
Can you believe this?
We're on the platform for the millennial moment!
I know!
You haven't been practicing the routine, have you?
No.
Me too!
When the music starts...
I was thinking about maybe going into the robot.
Ross, we should stick to the routine. We don't want to look stupid.
All right, we're back! Ten seconds left.
-Ten. -Nine, eight.
-Seven. -Okay, it all comes down to this.
Whatever happens, happens.
Destiny.
three, two, one!
-Cut! -No!
Year!
Happy "No" Year!
Now we go to the live shot of Times Square. That's a wrap!
What did that snippy guy say?
I think he's kicking out anyone who's not dancing.
So just keep dancing.
Hey, look who I found.
Oh, hi, guys!
Birds have a very good sense of direction.
I thought maybe they could help us find the presents.
Yes, if the presents are hidden south for the winter.
Or we could just follow your clever jokes. Any ideas? Didn't think so.
Come on, show us where the presents are.
The duck seems to think that Monica got me garbage.
I wonder what I could get Monica that's as good as garbage.
How about my "az"?
-Hey. This is hollow. -What?
This bench, it's hollow. I can't believe I never knew that!
-Oh, the presents! -Don't look directly at them!
What?
All right, no, we could look at them.
This one's for me!
This one's for Chandler. Here.
-And the big one's for me! -Oh, let's open them!
-Wait a minute. We can't do this. -Why?
I don't want to know what Monica got me.
I'm sure she worked hard at getting it and wanting to surprise me.
And you guys are gonna ruin that.
We have to put these back. This is not what Christmas is about.
Whatever, Linus. I'm opening mine.
Nobody is opening anything, okay?
I want to see the look on her face when I give her my present.
I'm sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine.
So, please, please, can we just...? Can we put them back?
-Will you get us better gifts? -Fine.
Hey, guys.
You found the presents?
You let them find the presents?
Great.
Do you know how long it took me to find you that water purifier?
-That's what you got me? -Yes, I see. That look is priceless.
Home sweet home, huh?
Nice to get back to reality.
Plus, we know how the New Year's gonna go off.
I guess there's no reason for all that Y2K panic, you know?
Anyway, good night.
-Joey? -Yeah?
Three...
two, one.
Happy New Year.
What was that for?
Tonight when they yelled "cut" and we didn't get to kiss...
I was really, really disappointed, and I just....
I just really wanted to kiss you.
Really?
In the moment, I really wanted to kiss you too. In the moment.
-In the moment. -But only in the moment.
So do you want to kiss again?
Sure. New Year's Eve is only two weeks away.
Can you wait?
No.
Me neither.
Three, two....
You don't have to count down every time we kiss.
Oh. Okay.
Except I sort of felt like I needed a couple seconds to get ready.
We were on the platform, ready to dance into the new millennium...
and the guy yells, "Cut!"
-So Joey didn't get to kiss Janine? -Nope, he sure didn't.
I guess that means that you guys are still tied.
I don't know about that. I think she saw us do our routine.
I may have boogied right into first place.
So you guys are telling me that you actually did...
the routine from eighth grade?
Yeah! But of course we had to update it a little bit.
Hey, by the way, quick thinking about catching me.
There's no way you could've done the end...
the way you guys did it back then.
What? We could do it.
I don't know. You were a lot bigger.. I mean, stronger back then.
I can do it, okay?
Come on, let's go! Come on.
One, two, three, four...
five, six, seven, eight.
I can't do it!
Now, you do that, you're on TV.