ANNOUNCER: Previously on Angel:
Who are you?
WOMAN: This is to confirm you've been rescued...
...by Angel, CEO and president of Wolfram & Hart.
- You run a law firm? - Well, just lately.
- Why on earth are we here? - We're crusaders against evil...
...and now the law firm that represents evil...
...has given us its L.A. branch to run. - We're turning this place inside out.
Yes, it's the project you've been waiting for.
It's Joanie Loves Chachi meets The Sorrow and the Pity.
- Harmony. - Hey, boss.
You're my secretary?
FRED: Have you seen my lab? It's giant, and I'm in charge.
I wonder if you're ready for the next step.
You don't know me, or you wouldn't ask that question.
Charles agreed to let us enhance his mind with a knowledge of the law.
We're gonna change things.
We came to Wolfram & Hart because it's a powerful weapon.
We'll deal with whatever comes next.
[SCREAMING]
Spike.
- Go on, then. - No, you've done enough.
- You can still... - No. You've beaten them back.
It's for me to clean up.
- Spike. - I mean it. I gotta do this.
Now, go.
I want to see how it ends.
[GASPING]
What? What?
- What the hell are you doing here, Spike? - Harmony.
This is Spike? The Spike?
- Wait a minute, who's...? LORNE: Easy, Slim.
- No one's gonna hurt you. - Speak for yourself.
- Would somebody tell me who...? - William the Bloody. He's a vampire.
One of the worst recorded. Second only to...
Me.
But you're dead.
Well, yeah. Who here isn't?
Besides him, and him, and her, and...
What are you again?
[ROARING]
Bugger.
Just Rewards
What...? What's happened to me?
Well, I'm no doctor...
...but I think you're a ghost.
I'm not... I'm no bloody ghost.
Hey, you're the one sticking out of a desk, pal.
And you can't talk to me like that. We're not going out anymore.
Where'd he come from?
WESLEY: From this. FRED: What is it?
- Something I gave to Buffy before... - Buffy? Is she...?
- She's okay. - Where? Where is she?
Europe, last I heard from her.
- I want to see her, talk to her. - That's gonna be tough.
- You can't keep her from me. - She's not mine to keep, or yours.
Says you. You've got no idea what we had.
- You never had her. - More than you, you poncy...
Oh, my God.
You and the Slayer actually...
I mean, I know you had that twisted obsession with her, but...
Ugh... That's just... Ugh.
I...
Ugh.
- I must be in hell. LORNE: No, L.A.
But a lot of people make that mistake.
So Spike and Buffy...
He was an ally of hers for some time.
At least that's what Angel told me.
That's all Angel told me.
So he's a good guy vampire, like Angel?
- He's nothing like me. - Got that right.
What have you done to me?
What is this place?
Who are you people?
What the bloody hell is happening?
[BEEPING]
- Honey of a story. - Story?
Yeah. "The Vampire Slayer: Both Men Loved, Both Men Lost."
I could sell that to any studio in a heartbeat.
I see Depp and Bloom.
But then, I see them a lot.
Sorry. Hazard of running the entertainment division.
Gotta get out more.
So, what are you, then? Scanner girl?
I'm Fred. I head up Wolfram & Hart's science department.
Wolfram & Hart? Heard of that.
- Thought it was a law firm. FRED: It is, among other things.
I heard they represent the worst evil in the universe.
It did, among other things.
But now I'm in charge.
- Are you, now? FRED: Weird.
I get electromagnetic readings consistent with spiritual entities...
...but there's no ectoplasmic matrix.
- Meaning? FRED: Ectoplasm...
...is what makes ghosts visible to the human eye.
If he's a ghost, technically we shouldn't be able to see him.
- And I'm detecting brain wave activity. - On Spike? That is weird.
Also, ghosts generally absorb light and heat energy...
...making the area around them a few degrees cooler.
- Spike's radiating heat. - Think I'm hot, do you?
Lukewarm. Just above room temperature.
Well, what the hell am I, then?
Whatever he is, it's clearly tied to this amulet.
Spike's essence, for lack of a better term, must've been held within it.
Do you have any memory of a strange sensation when it released its energy?
You mean my skin and muscle burning away from bone?
Organs exploding in my chest?
Eyeballs melting in their sockets? No memory. Thanks for asking.
ANGEL: He's connected to the amulet.
Last I heard, it was buried deep inside of the Hellmouth.
- How'd it end up here? - Maybe he's here for a reason.
You know, some higher purpose or something he's destined for...
...sent to us by The Powers That Be to help us or...
Who gave them the bloody right to do that?
Can't a man die in peace without some high almighty deciding it's not his time?
Let's have a little fun with him.
You'd think that saving the sodding world...
...would be enough to earn me a rest. You'd think.
Spike.
Huh?
Oh, balls.
- Now what? - I don't know. He just...
What did he mean, saving the world?
Oh, that? Well, Buffy did most of the work.
Well, he helped, but...
What? What?
- Took the "whats" out of our mouths. - Where'd you go?
- Don't you know? - I'm... I was...
- You. This is your fault. - Mine?
You brought that bloody amulet to Sunnydale.
You would've used it, until you chickened out.
- What did you...? - You heard me.
You left in the nick of time. Before the death and mayhem.
Abandoned the woman you claimed to love.
- She made the call. It wasn't my choice. - And this bloody hell wasn't mine.
I'm not you.
I don't give a piss about atonement or destiny.
Just because I got me a soul doesn't mean I'll be lead...
- Excuse me? - Did you just say...?
Spike has a soul?
- You never said. - Didn't seem worth mentioning.
- Seems to be a lot of that. - Or maybe...
...Captain Forehead was feeling a little less special.
Didn't like me crashing his exclusive club.
Another vampire with a soul in the world.
You're not in the world, Casper.
SPIKE: Running away again?
Nice m.o. I can see why heroes like you get rewarded with new glass and chrome.
- Why didn't I think of that? - I'm not responsible for what happened.
- It's almost 3:00. You have a meeting... - Not now.
You even managed to get my ex-tumble, the littlest vampire, fetching coffee.
- Nice perks for the sellout. - Try not to talk about things...
...you don't understand. - I'm not the prat here.
I know you, Angel. What do you think you're doing?
You made some devil's bargain to take over this company.
Thought you'd use it to fight the evil from inside the belly of the beast.
You're too busy fighting to see you are getting digested.
- Not happening. - You think you're in control?
Guess again, mate. You're no more in control than I am...
...except I'm not gonna stand for it, while you're just a blind...
- Grox'lar Beast. - What?
[BEAST SNARLING]
Oh, brilliant.
[BONES BREAKING]
Somebody want to tell me how a Grox'lar Beast got past security?
- I don't have time for this. SPIKE: Of course.
Man's gotta stay focused on profit margins and power lunches.
HARMONY: Angel... - I've got a business to run.
That means responsibilities, appointments...
- That was your 3:00. - That...
I'm meeting with Grox'lars?
- They eat babies. - Just their heads.
- You were supposed to open negotiations. - Negotiations for what?
Get them to stop eating baby heads.
Oh. So that's good.
Oh. So this is bad.
No, actually the Grox'lar Clan respects someone who takes a strong position.
They didn't just jack me up here with human laws.
Also demon laws from every dimension.
Probably should've briefed you about the Grox'lar, but we got a little sidetracked.
I've been implementing our reforms, mostly staff overhaul.
I fired 40 employees in the past two days.
ANGEL: How's it going? - As expected.
Anger, tears, venomous death threats.
Listen, I know I was a little crabby before.
I mean, hello. A little awkward seeing you at my work.
But if you want to talk or something, you know, about us, or...
Okay, too soon.
I understand.
Slayer-loving freak.
Caught an associate we laid off trying to smuggle this out of the Voodoo Division.
ANGEL: It's a nice likeness.
This place just goes on and on, doesn't it?
Like a ruddy theme park attraction.
- I'm in a meeting, Spike. - Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't care.
We're ruffling a lot of dangerous feathers.
There's gonna be a backlash.
Well, we'll just have to ride out the ripples.
I'm sensing a ripple on its way now.
- Yes? - Novac, sir.
What's this about shutting down the Internment Acquisitions Division?
- Internment Acqui...? - Grave robbing.
I know you fellows are in charge now, and you're doing a bang-up job.
I'm with you 110 percent.
But that department brings in mucho revenue.
Well, we'll just have to tighten our belts and do without.
No, you're not getting it.
Sir.
IAD is under contract to provide fresh bodies to Magnus Hainsley.
You know who he is, right?
Okay. He's one of our oldest clients.
Big potatoes. We stop delivering, and he is not gonna be thrilled.
Then he's not gonna like it when you advise him that he's no longer our client.
- Me? - You got it, counselor.
- You tell Mr... - Hainsley.
...Hainsley that Wolfram & Hart is under new management...
...and out of the grave-robbing business.
Now, run along and go argue your case.
- Me? - Go.
- You don't have to take that from him. - Stay out of this, Spike.
- You don't work here. - Damn right I don't.
Look at you. This is what you do now?
Delegate the dirty work to spineless, low-level flunkies? No offense.
The mighty hero, reduced to a bloody bureaucrat.
- lf a certain Slayer could see you now. - Get out of here, Spike.
Gladly.
Cruel enough punishment being stuck here...
...as a spook while you play chairman of the boring.
But hell if I'm going to spend my afterlife in your stinking city. Get stuffed.
ANGEL: You don't think he's really gone, do you?
WESLEY: That what's on your mind?
Could've been me, Wes.
It was supposed to be me.
- You're not feeling guilty. - What, about Spike?
That's not...
Wolfram & Hart gave me the amulet.
They must have expected me to use it...
...and they had to have known it would do what it did.
Why bother handing you the keys to the kingdom?
It doesn't make sense.
- What are the senior partners playing at? - Maybe dissent in their ranks.
Maybe there's another player in the game they, and we, don't know anything about.
Then again, maybe they got exactly what they were after.
- Spike. - He may be the one they...
What are you doing here? I thought you left town.
Don't think I didn't bleeding try.
Every time I got as far as city limits, I kept popping back here.
Like my insides were getting yanked.
I suspected as much. The amulet's Wolfram & Hart's property.
It's bound to this place. Since Spike's connected to it...
Hey, I'm nobody's blood property, Percy.
So, what, I'm just stuck here forever? I bet you're loving this, aren't you?
Knowing you'll be haunting me till the end of time.
It's a dream come true.
Uh, boss, that Novac lawyer you sent over to dump the client?
- Well, he's back. - Okay, send him in.
Okay.
ANGEL: What is...?
Old Buckets here was right.
You guys are doing a bang-up job.
Harmony, give me Novac's contact list.
Close relations, next of kin.
And let's be discreet about this for the time being, okay?
Discreet?
Oh, you mean like not tell anyone about bucket-o-lawyer.
- Harmony, contact list. GUNN: Hey.
Got word you wanted the file on Magnus Hainsley.
He's a sorcerer, big-time. Rich with old money and older mojo.
Owns a block of shares in Wolfram & Hart and he's connected up the wazoo.
Influence with players in the entertainment industry, politics.
- He's a necromancer. - Power over the dead.
That explains the bodies Wolfram & Hart's been providing.
But not what he's been doing with them. Out of my chair.
Make me.
- What's in the buckets? - Your man Novac.
Guess he's been, what do you call it? Downsized.
It's a message from Magnus Hainsley.
And I'm going to reply to it personally.
- You can't take Hainsley on yourself. - I'm not going to risk somebody else.
You've got a multibillion-dollar company at your disposal...
...with armed and trained personnel. - They cramp my style.
WESLEY: Your style's not going to cut it with a necromancer.
We should probably avoid an eye-for-an-eye escalation here.
- I'm not going for his eyes, Wes. - I know what you should go for.
It'll hurt him. Bad.
SPIKE: Knew you'd pick the Viper.
So bloody predictable.
Spike, get out of the car.
- No. - What?
This "haunting you until the end of time" idea of yours is appealing.
I could drive you completely starkers.
Right out of your gourd. You wouldn't be able to do a sodding thing about it.
Fancy a road trip?
This'll be fun, eh?
You and me together again.
So where are we off to?
To see the wizard.
Do you have an appointment with Mr. Hainsley?
Let's just say he sent us an invitation.
We're... I'm from Wolfram & Hart.
I'm his date.
Mr. Hainsley is with a customer at the moment.
I'm afraid he does not suffer interruption lightly.
I'm not so worried about his suffering. Go ahead and interrupt.
As you wish. Please wait here, gentlemen.
Life among the power elite.
It's all so civilized.
Hainsley grinds up one of your people, and you drop by for tea.
I'm hoping to avoid a body count here.
No worries.
Looks like this Hainsley keeps one on hand.
Man likes to play with dollies.
ANGEL: This isn't for him.
[PIANO PLAYING]
It's a showroom.
[CHANTING]
DEMON: I thought about going older with it.
I don't know, more distinguished, kind of a...
...50-something Shirley Temple Black with it.
The "ultra-respectable ambassador to somewhere" deal.
But in the end, I went with pretty. I suppose we all do in the end, don't we?
You know, in the end, pretty people just seem to have a... Oh, whoa.
There's something you don't see every...
[DEMON GROANS]
DEMON: Okay, yeah, that's feeling a little weird.
MANSERVANT: Excuse the interruption, sir.
There are some more men from Wolfram & Hart asking to see you.
They seem rather adamant.
Kill them.
Very good, sir.
I don't know. Maybe the geezer's just lonely.
Throws himself a surprise party every night.
He picks out one of these painted pigeons and shows her a good time, you know.
What? I'm sure they don't mind.
- Yeah, they mind. - Why?
They're the lucky ones, aren't they? It's over for them.
They've shuffled off, cleanly, the one time.
Nobody's shoving them back in this world against their will.
I mind.
Mr. Hainsley has asked that I send you back to Wolfram & Hart, gentlemen.
In a manner of speaking.
Uh-oh. Looks like it's buckets for you.
[SCREAMS]
A spoon? That's just...
Well, okay, that's more...
Disappointing, really.
You can't help me, but could you not root for the other team?
I'll root for anyone with a chance of taking you down.
- What is your problem? - You are, ponce.
You're my problem. You've got it too good.
You're king of a castle, with all the cars, comfort, power and glory you could want.
I save the world, throw myself on the proverbial hand grenade for love...
...honor and the right reasons, and what do I get?
Bloody toasted and ghosted is what I get.
- It's just not fair. - Fair?
You asked for a soul. I didn't. It almost killed me.
I spend a hundred years trying to come to terms with infinite remorse.
You spent three weeks moaning in a basement and you were fine.
What's fair about that?
Are you getting blurry, or is it...?
[GRUNTS]
Come in. It's open.
- Hainsley. - Didn't know it was...
...the head cheese himself.
Thought for sure you were another lackey.
You should show more respect.
Oh, uh, I can see you guys have a thing going on.
Don't let me get in your way. I'll let myself out.
ANGEL: So how much do you charge?
Installing the average demon in a human body?
I'm sure a lot of them would love to pass as people.
You know, walk amongst the sheep.
Believe me, friend, the average demon can't afford it.
I'm cutting off your supply, Hainsley.
As of now, your body shop's...
[GROANING]
Who do you think you're talking to?
I eat the dead for breakfast, son.
And you're just another plate of bacon and eggs.
A ghost, huh?
You brought a ghost as your backup, vampire?
I'm not here to back him up. I just haunt the bastard.
- Stay out of this. - Stick it far as it'll go.
You go ahead, wiz. Do as you want.
HAINSLEY: What I want is to turn you inside out, like a shirt.
I could dust you right now, boy.
Wouldn't even need a stake.
But that would be too big an insult for the senior partners to overlook.
It seems that they've got plans for you.
I've got plans of my own.
Gunn. Do it.
And what was that?
Just call in an air strike?
I just froze all your bank accounts.
Terminated your paper assets and turned your books over...
...to a very motivated contact we have at the IRS.
Five minutes from now, you'll have nothing but this house.
Ten minutes from now, that'll go into foreclosure.
You can't do that.
- I'll let myself out. - It's not legal.
You think you can get away with that?
[CHUCKLING]
- I'll sue you to hell. ANGEL: Good luck. We're your lawyers.
This isn't over, vampire.
SPIKE: That's how you'll fight evil now?
- Call the IRS? - Whatever.
"IRS? Could you fight my battles? Could you wipe my wide...
ANGEL: Thank God.
...ass?"
- You. - Power over the dead.
Enough about me. Let's talk about you.
You're a ghost. Close enough, anyway.
That's just a horrible way to be.
You're not here, you're not there.
Just lost somewhere in the middle.
You can't fight against it, you can't fix it.
You can't even lift a finger, because you simply don't have any.
Yeah. What's it to you?
I can give you back what's been taken from you.
Freedom. Power of choice.
I can put your destiny back in your own flesh-and-bone hands.
That's right. A corporeal body.
I can make that happen.
But to do that, I need you to do something for me.
- Something that might require... - Hurt Angel? That it?
You want me to hurt Angel?
You've come to the right ghost.
Wiped out every asset we could find. Wasn't easy.
- Man's got fingers in a lot of dirty pies. - I think pies are going to be off his menu.
Well, it's gotta hurt. I mean, damn, who doesn't love pie?
FRED: You're back. - Hainsley out of business?
- Yeah, for the time being. - So he's not going away?
"This isn't over yet, vampire," may be the tipoff.
Guys, can we get back to my spiritual crisis?
- Yes. Spike. - Popped out on me at Hainsley's place.
But we all know that he'll be back, and back, and back...
...and I don't want that happening.
So explain to me how we're gonna get him out of here.
He can't get out of here.
Please don't tell me that.
Okay. Wesley, you tell him.
I've had my entire department doing thorough research on the amulet.
There's not much.
Not in the way of releasing Spike from it anyway.
At least, not in the conventional sense.
And what's the unconventional sense?
Something he asked for.
Eternal rest.
HARMONY: Fine. Don't talk to me. - What?
Whole time we were a thing, you treated me like old rat blood.
Why should now be any diff? Just because you've gone all Patrick Swayze.
- What are you on about? - Well, gee, nothing much.
Just since you're all soulful now, I thought maybe, just maybe...
...you might have learned to open up a little. You know, talk.
But I guess a leopard can't change his stripes.
Spots, you dink. Leopards have spots.
Excuse me, Mr. Brainy. Thank you so much for sharing.
Wow, what a breakthrough.
WESLEY: This is an unusual situation, but I think it's our only choice.
It's what we'd do in any case of a haunting, isn't it?
An exorcism of sorts.
I mean, I know he's already dead, but he'd be gone dead.
Forever. It just doesn't seem right.
I agree. But neither is leaving him here.
Trapped between realms...
...no control over his fate, not able to touch anything...
...affect anything. Unable to fight.
Letting him cross over seems most merciful...
Yeah, yeah, mercy. You know, I'm all for it. Just, hey, tell me how we do it.
The amulet's protected, invulnerable to anything.
But the magic protecting it doesn't work on hallowed ground.
Hallowed? Like a church?
Or a cemetery, yes.
- It has to be taken there and destroyed. - Destroyed how?
I think a sharp blow would probably do the trick.
Angel, what do you think?
Think I want to sleep on it.
[SIGHING]
SPIKE: Well, look at you.
Oh, no. No, no, no.
SPIKE: Sitting in luxury's ample lap.
Top of the world...
...Iooking down on...
Well, everyone.
It's good to be king, isn't it?
Ground rules: Haunt me all you want during business hours...
...but this space, off-limits.
SPIKE: Relax, beefcake. I didn't come for a fight.
- Really. - Not that I could, right?
Can't touch. Can't affect anything.
Yeah, I overheard your little group powwow about me.
- How much? - Enough of enough.
- Look, Spike... - Necromancer tried to make a deal.
- What? - Said he could bring me back...
...body and soul...
...if I used our close personal relationship to double-cross you.
Tempting.
- And what'd you say? - You see, right there. That's the problem.
You having to ask me that.
I don't play for that side anymore, or haven't you heard?
Besides, even if Mr. Death could do what he promised...
...I trust him about as much as you trust me.
What do you want from me?
I can't live like this, Angel.
Being useless.
Being nothing.
I want it to end.
I suppose this'll do.
Feels hallowed enough.
- Sure you want to do this, Spike? - What?
Think I could really stand hanging out with you and your lot now and forever?
Wise-cracking ghost sidekick.
No, bloody thanks.
Come on. You know as well as I do, it's for the best.
I'm glad it's you, though...
...finally doing me in.
Feels right, you being my grandsire and all.
Circle of death, eh?
- Goodbye, Spike. - See you around, Angel.
I think you missed.
[GROANING]
And the dead shall rise! Just because I say so.
- Hainsley. - Vampires should think twice...
...before messing with a man who wields power over all things lifeless.
If you ask my advice.
Took your sweet time stepping in, Hainsley.
I was close to getting a trip to the great beyond.
Relax, son. I wasn't going to let anything happen to you.
You're the linchpin of my plan.
Our plan.
And you'd better hold up your end of it.
- I'm not going to be used by you. - Yes, you are.
But afterwards, I'll give you your reward, just as you asked.
I'll put you back in the driver's seat of your afterlife.
Control.
That's all anyone really wants, isn't it?
Hello, vampire.
Have a nice nap?
No. Don't get up. You've had a rough day.
You know, so have I, thanks to you.
Yours is about to get a hell of a lot worse.
I don't think so. Me, necromancer.
You, dead.
- You can't lay a finger on me. - Maybe not.
But what do you think the senior partners are gonna do to you...
...when I turn up missing? - You're not going to be missing.
You'll show up to work bright-eyed and bushy-tailed tomorrow morning.
When you reverse the seizure of my personal assets...
...and reinstate the Internment Acquisitions Department.
- And why would I do that? SPIKE: Not you.
Me.
Wearing your body.
And to think I didn't trust you.
Come on, Angel.
What choice did I have?
Bloody exorcism?
Letting you and yours banish me to oblivion? No, thanks.
Necro here is gonna give me my body back after I take yours for a test drive.
Fix his little problems.
And here's the kicker.
I go in, and you go...
Off to Never-Never-Come-Back Land.
And then yours very truly will be running the show.
Your cars, your fancy digs, everything...
...everyone I deserve will be mine.
And maybe I'll have a go with that Fred.
She looks like a goer.
- And she seems to really look up to you. - Shut up.
You know what? You're right.
Enough talk.
Let's do this already. I'm itching to get physical.
I've never installed anyone in a conscious dead body before.
I imagine this is going to be extremely painful.
[CHUCKLING]
[CHANTING]
- What...? What are you doing? - Spike.
- No.
No!
I can touch you now, Hainsley.
Think you're clever, eh?
[GROANING]
But your ghost can't control me for long.
I hold the power. I rule the dead.
Not today.
Oh, bollocks.
I was just getting warmed up.
That was you hitting me?
That last bit, yeah. Hains has been dead since he hit the table.
Oh, come on. Had to get a few licks in, didn't I?
Spike came to you with this.
Once he learned Hainsley used himself as a conduit for body transfers...
...our trap fell into place. - A bit reckless.
If Spike's sticking around, it'd be prudent to share his plans with the rest of us.
Yeah, sharing's not something Spike does very well.
Preaching the horse's mouth.
FRED: Spike.
What are you...?
Can I help you?
Well, that's the heart of it, isn't it? The crux, the nub.
I'm sorry?
You're the smart one, aren't you?
The go-to girl who knows all about this ghost mumbo jumbo.
Um... Well, actually Wesley's the occult expert.
He was trained as a Watcher. He knows about the supernatural.
Yeah, but you're the science queen.
The hows, the what-ifs, that's your cup of tea.
You figure things out in that cute little noggin of yours.
I guess.
What...?
Is there something...?
I'm slipping.
What?
I don't want to go.
But it's like...
It's like the ground underneath me is splitting open...
...and my legs are straddling both sides of this bloody big chasm.
It's getting wider, pulling me in.
Is that...?
Is that what's happening when you keep vanishing?
I know what's down there.
Where it's trying to take me.
And it's not the place heroes go.
Not by a bloody long shot.
It's the other one.
Full of fire and torment.
And it's happening.
And I'm terrified.
Help me.
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[ENGLISH SDH]