Previously...
- When are you coming back to school? - I'm not.
I'm enrolling at St. Clare's. Just need a fresh start.
- You're the whore from the video! - You filmed us having sex
and showed it to everyone! I was in that movie, too. Only instead of hiding,
I dealt with all the whispering and all the looks.
You need to figure out how to do that, too.
What I feel is humiliated. I feel like I'm in hell.
Liam asked me out.
- What did you say? - Nothing.
I just left.
Thank you for telling me. I appreciate it.
This is my sister, this is Jen.
Here I am to rescue her from bourgeois hell.
Adrianna Tate Duncan,
will you please marry me?
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So, Navid and I...
We have something to tell you guys.
Something I already know.
I'm not giving the baby up for adoption.
- So, you're keeping it? - Wait for it.
We are, actually.
Navid and I. We're gonna raise the baby together.
And we're getting married.
- What?! - Married?!
Like, married, married?
It's crazy, right?
What? I am not gonna sit here and pretend
that I think it's a good idea.
If you want to keep the baby, fine. If you want to help out, fine.
But married?!
Help me here.
It does seem a little drastic.
- We love each other. - Things change!
Look at Annie and Ethan. A couple months ago they were all
love love love, moon, moon, moon.
Now they hardly talk to each other.
I'm sure it's fun playing house in your bedroom and all...
Hold on. That's where you guys are living?
I know you love him.
But you have your whole life ahead of you.
Think of all the life events you're gonna miss out on
if you tie yourself down.
- There's college. - I'm still gonna go to college.
College parties.
A summer in Europe.
Or a love affair with a tall, unshaven Italian man
who cooks you pasta puttanesca.
It's not just Ade. Navid, you're gonna miss out, too.
No, I've never had a thing for unshaven Italian men.
- Yeah, but... - We love each other.
I think we can offer this kid a great family.
Why not reconsidering adoption?
There's tons of people out there who can't have kids
- and are ready. - We're ready.
We are and we're gonna be great parents.
- I'm done. You done? - Yeah, I am.
I'll see you guys later.
I didn't mean it.
- You okay? - Yeah, you?
Totally.
Me too, I'm good.
I'm really good.
I am great.
Who needs friends or parents.
We don't need any support.
Right...
Are you okay?
I'm not so great.
I'm just glad you wanted to see me.
And I'm sorry I pushed you,
you know, to
come clean at your school.
Thanks.
It's just a really hard situation.
I know it is.
And I should have been a lot more sensitive.
You've been through a lot.
So, however long it takes you to
be comfortable in public or whatever,
I'm cool with that.
So, you're fine just hanging out here?
Totally.
It's gonna make going to prom tough,
but maybe the prom committee can move it here. That'd be nice.
Dixon, I can't go to prom.
I can't deal with West Beverly kids yet.
But you want to go.
Now you're just making me feel guilty.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have even brought it up, it was stupid.
Hi, Father. Thanks for coming.
Your email was rather insistent.
A martini, please, dry, two olives.
So, I assume you're here because
the Wilsons have had enough of your shenanigans.
I forgive you.
And of course you can come home. In fact, I need you to.
These are tough times for the family and we need to circle the wagons.
It's a tough time for you. You're the one who sexually harassed Portia's...
Allegedly.
I'm a family man. I value family,
- morals, clean living. - What the hell?
Don't blaspheme.
- You're home! - Sorry I haven't called, Daddy.
How's school?
I'm learning lots. I've had some time off
so, I thought I'd visit the old homestead.
Things are tough but,
I'm so glad you're here. You can come stay with Gail and me
and Naomi of course. How's that for a plan?
I'm glad I'm here, too.
But there's no way on earth I'm going to rally around
some narcissistic, freaky, old sexual degenerate
just because he happens to be my father.
And neither is Naomi.
So, I have a slightly different plan.
I think Naomi should get the first installment of her trust fund.
Now.
There's no reason she should have to wait till she's 21 like I did.
And there's certainly no reason she should have to live with you.
And "Gail."
That's ridiculous, Naomi's 16. She can't sign a lease.
But I can.
Naomi and I are going to live together.
Why should I agree to that?
Two words.
Michele
Braverman.
Who's Michele Braverman?
She was my tennis pro when I was 16.
Quite an attractive girl.
Ruddy, robust, very...
Healthy, wasn't she, Daddy?
You give Naomi the money
and we'll play the dutiful little daughters.
Fine.
I'll have my business manager send papers in the morning.
Were you just saying that?
I Do you really want to live together? For real?
Absolutely for real-- for real for real.
Honey, I wouldn't abandon you in your time of need.
Where do you want to live?
Do you want to live in Bel Air? Los Feliz, Malibu, Hollywood Hills?
The world is our oyster, baby sister.
- To oysters. - To oysters.
CREDITS
Did you by any chance grab my math homework off the dining room table?
- You're the best! - That's what I keep telling you.
What's that?
- I have no idea. - Open it up.
Surprise, surprise.
They're throwing me a shower.
Just so we're clear, I still think you're making a huge mistake.
But you did stand by me when I got those terrible highlights.
So, if you're dead-set on doing this,
you're gonna need your friends' support.
We're not gonna abandon you during your time of need.
Thank you, so much.
Thank you for the party!
To be fair, I'm footing the bill.
Annie's just lending her house.
Just one sec. Come here.
We're having the party at my house? I thought we were having it at the Ivy.
We were. But I also want Nobu sushi
and Sweet Lady Jane pastries. Catering means we can have it all.
Great!
- Your dad's a pervert. - He's not my problem.
Your mom's a soap opera actress.
What's the problem, Naomi?
Very funny.
Now, if you don't mind, I have someplace to be.
Really?
Because, I don't.
Do you, Plum?
I could stay here for hours and hours.
A pick-up for Ryan.
Hey there, English teacher.
Oh, what the...
I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!
It's, no, it's fine, okay. It's just,
It's bloodshot!
It looks terrible. I'm sorry.
You're NaomI's sister, right?
She never mentioned you were so violent.
I'm a many-faceted woman.
Just to be on the safe side, I think you should get checked out by a doctor.
When I was living in Nice, I knew this guy
who took a champagne cork to the eye and, well, he
ended up having to have surgery.
- He nearly lost his eye. - Surgery?
His whole face collapsed.
I mean, he had done so much blow that his face was as hollow as a piñata.
One errant champagne cork and whoop,
the whole thing kind of imploded.
It's a cautionary tale.
- Don't do drugs. - Aim your champagne bottles carefully.
- Ryan, your order's up. - Excuse me.
So you were living in Nice?
- I love the Chagall Museum there. - You like Chagall?
And that museum...
The Musée du Message Biblique Marc Chagall? It's my favorite.
I know the curator.
I've been studying art history in Paris.
- I thought you were at Yale. - I've been doing a term abroad.
That's impressive.
Please. Not compared to you. You're a teacher.
Do you absolutely love what you do?
I do, actually. It's fun.
I mean for now, you know.
- Really more of a writer. - You're a writer?
Have you been published?
Not yet. But...
I've written a novel.
I'd love to read it.
I'd like that.
Maybe over dinner?
I would enjoy having dinner with you.
- Great. - Great.
I mean, you know what my motto is?
"Be careful when opening champagne"?
"Why the hell not?"
How about tomorrow night?
Why the hell not?
Okay.
How good is this?
It's sick. This place is adorable.
I could seriously go berserk here.
Let's do it. I mean, let's go berserk.
I'm going to buy like 40 things.
We have to celebrate, right? We found our dream house.
Isn't that place perfect?
It's amazing! I mean, we have to get it.
The neighborhood is adorable. The nearby stores could make a girl go berserk.
Here.
You have to try this on.
No way.
Trust me, Naomi.
I'm going to have to give you a makeover.
- Not the dress. - What?
Portia Ranson. She's here.
The bitch from the Blendeds who boxed in my car this morning.
Let me talk to her.
Portia. Jen Clark.
Hi. I'm NaomI's sister.
Sorry to hear that.
Listen,
I know that this lawsuit must be very hard for you and your family.
I get that. But I think you should know that it's really hard on Naomi, too.
So, I propose that we rise above our parents,
and we treat each other with respect.
Your sister's a bitch and a slut.
That's a disgusting thing to say, Portia.
I don't think you should be talking about other women that way.
And I really don't think you should talk about Naomi like that.
Why not?
Don't underestimate what I'll do to protect my sister.
How'd it go?
That girl's got a filthy mouth and a sneaky demeanor.
I don't trust her.
Excuse me, Miss.
We're going to need to check your bag.
God, this is ridiculous.
I don't know how that got in there. This is some kind of mistake.
- Why don't you come with me? - This is ridiculous!
Get your hands off me. I didn't...
- This is so stupid! - I told you not to underestimate me.
You...
I knew I didn't trust that girl. But a shoplifter?
- Gosh, that's so sad. - You're awesome.
Oh, my God.
Attention everyone!
The bride and mother-to-be has arrived.
You look so beautiful!
Thank you for hosting. This is incredible.
- Congrats. You're here! - Oh, my God!
- How's your new school? - It's pretty good.
Everyone's here. My family... my cousins.
- Hi, sweetie! - Aunt Nancy! Hi.
Your mom couldn't get off work, so I am here to represent.
So, listen, how are you doing?
I've been really worried about you.
- Worried? - Yeah! Listen, honey,
you've taken on a really big job.
Probably the biggest there is.
I know you're up for it.
- I think I'm going to cry. - Pace yourself.
Save those tears for later.
All right, everyone! It's time for the veil!
Wait for it.
All right, ladies.
Let the games begin!
Tonight I'm Leo Briganti. You're Spencer Corwin.
You're Art Cosgrove.
And you're Manuel Montoya.
I'm Mexican?
Tonight you are.
Where'd you get these fake Id's?
Who says they're fake?
- Adrianna got her bridal shower - And for you...
Welcome to your bachelor party.
Close your mouth, Spencer.
You don't drink.
Tonight I... tonight I do.
All right! Time for the judges to confer.
Adrianna is the winner!
That is so unfair!
I mean, it's just
all in good fun. Isn't it?
All right, and up next we have the blind baby food taste test.
So, Ade, you'll be the first contestant. Want to just wait on the patio
- and we'll set up? - You got it.
I didn't know women could be that limber.
You're not exactly the expert. 'Cause you're a virgin!
- Dude. - Somehow I don't think Navid's a virgin,
considering he's marrying the girl he knocked up. Right?
It isn't, uh, technically my kid.
Okay. Come again?
You're getting married,
and you've never had sex? With anyone?
Including your pregnant fiancée?
When you put it like that...
Incoming.
Man, college girls! I told you this bachelor party would rock.
Sorority sisters.
This could be your chance.
- Cool. - I'm just saying.
Could we sit down?
I've got a girlfriend.
Okay.
- Not that she acts like one. - Ladies, please. Have a seat.
We'd be delighted.
- Right, Spencer? - Sure. Please.
Delighted.
I have to... Tell you something.
Me?
I'm pledging a sorority and
my big sister is watching me so
if you could act like I'm saying something
really dirty to you I'd appreciate it.
Thanks.
I'm Isabel.
I'm Spencer.
- t's nice to meet you. - You, too.
So, what's your major?
Mrs. Shirazi?
I'm sorry. I know you're having a party,
but I haven't slept in days and I had to talk to you.
You're making a terrible mistake.
A terrible, terrible mistake.
Please. Hear me!
You're not ready to raise a baby.
You're just a kid
You're not ready and Navid is not ready.
You're going to ruin your lives.
- And the child's too. - All right! Get back here, bride!
I should...
Sure. Okay, but
please don't make this mistake.
Please.
You know, it's like she got... It's like she got this trump card,
you know, because she's bipolar or something.
Not that I judge, you know. Not that I judge at all,
but it's like... you know, it's not fair.
It's like... it's like, because you have
something wrong, like, I have to ask you to prom, you know.
Like, screw your mental illness or whatever.
Not that
prom has anything to do with mental illness or...
I can't believe you're getting married, Spencer.
- Yeah, it's crazy, right? - All right, Isabel, You're up.
Up for what?
But... no. Do you want to be a Pi Nu or what?
Fine.
What are you doing?
Something I hope I'm too drunk to remember tomorrow.
- Impressive. - It's all in the wrist,
I wish I could cook,
but it just... it seems like awfully hard work.
And, you know...
Why work when you can live off your trust fund?
You're preaching to the choir, babe.
You're a Jonathan Safran Foer fan.
You know what, taste this really quick.
Have you read his stuff? Or, let me guess.
- You hung out with him in Dubai. - Okay, that was amazing.
And... no.
I didn't hang out with Jonathan Safran Foer in Dubai.
I find Dubai revolting.
We hang out in Brooklyn.
You know what I'll do? I'll send him your novel.
I mean, yeah, that would... That... it's a good idea.
So, when do I get to read it?
My novel?
Soon... yeah, totally.
Do you want another glass of wine?
We kicked that bottle.
I'll open a new one.
I can't cook,
but I am a genius at opening red wine bottles.
Please welcome to the stage
Taylor and his pell Boyd
- Thank you. - No, it was my pleasure.
It's always fun to discover hidden talents.
Hey, Spencer?
I don't think you should get married.
- You don't? - You're too young...
And too cute.
I got to go.
I'm coming.
Wait, don't forget this.
Where are the girls going?
- Easy does it, Manuel. - I just need some more tequila.
- Tequila. - Hey, I got to go.
I really need to talk to Adrianna right now.
Yeah, we can go. Let's just get the check.
No... no way. I don't want... I don't want to go home.
I don't... I don't want to see my girlfriend. I...
All right, you guys head back. I'll party with Manuel here.
Thanks for everything, guys. Appreciate it.
No worries. This party is on Leo Briganti.
This looks like a fun little box. Baby girl.
And this will be useful.
Yay, the groom's here!
Can I talk to you?
I want to make a toast
to the bride and groom.
Future mother and father.
It is no secret that I thought
this was a terrible idea... The whole marriage thing...
but recently, I have been thinking a lot about family.
My sister, Jen... She just flew in from Paris,
and we're going to live together in the most amazing house and...
Having a good family is so important.
Adrianna, Navid... You two aren't going to be a couple anymore.
You're going to be a family, that's huge so, as much as I hate to say it,
I have to admit I was wrong. I was.
I believe in you two.
You'll make this work. You'll make a wonderful family together
So, Ade...
I better be your maid of honor.
I will not wear yellow. I love you.
I love you both. Cheers.
- Cheers. - Navid!
It's time for "How Much Do You Know About Your Bride?"
Come on. Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit.
Go. All right.
- You have the stuff, Annie? - Yeah, I've got the questions.
- Ethan, hey. - Hey, you.
So, we meet again on the outskirts of a party.
True enough. I'm just here, dropping off Navid.
Right.
- Where's Dixon? - Dixon is...
Well, Dixon is currently
very drunk.
Dixon is?
This is all my fault.
You okay?
We just haven't been...
Getting along so well.
Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
It's like we are so far apart.
So disconnected.
You want to hear my relationship theory?
You know how they say no man is an island?
Well, I think, actually, every man is an island.
- Oh, yeah? - And...
Relationships are like bridges.
One guy builds one half of the bridge, and
the other guy... or, gal,
you know...
Builds the other half,
and...
They try to meet in the middle.
But sometimes...
The islands are too far apart.
And it's sad, but...
It happens.
That's okay,
because...
Sometimes, it's just...
Time to move on.
I don't know maybe I'm
just talking nonsense.
No, you're not.
I'm not?
You're right.
I haven't been doing my share.
Dixon has been making
all the compromises. He's been building the bridge all himself.
I've got to start doing my part if this relationship is going to work.
Thank you, Ethan.
No problem.
It's pretty here.
It's not Nice.
But it's nice.
Can I tell you something?
I've had fun tonight.
A lot of fun.
Well, I'm glad.
Me, too.
I, uh...
Should tell you something.
- Okay. I'm scared. - I didn't write
a novel.
- You lied? - I... I do write... I do.
It's just that
calling myself a writer is like...
is like calling myself a mountain climber
because I've hiked up Runyon Canyon a couple times.
But we're all liars, Ryan. I mean,
that's what being a human being is all about.
Lying... we all do it... All the time,
- okay? - So, you lie?
Tell me one thing you've lied about.
Okay.
I'm not living off my trust fund.
In fact,
I spent it all.
I blew through a million dollars
in two months.
All right, well, you know, I'm an astronaut.
- Oh, really? - No, I'm a cosmonaut, and,
I'm actually the reincarnation of Laika.
The Russian space dog.
I'm glad we cleared that up.
I figured I would before you saw me near a fire hydrant.
Liam, what are you doing here?
I'm just... returning your drunk brother.
What...
what is wrong with you?
You got him drunk? Dixon doesn't drink. That's really nice, Liam.
Oh, Annie. Why do you always think the worst of me?
Just tell me how to get Dixon to his room.
- You can go back to your party. - Yeah, 'cause I'm dying to get back.
A celebration of the fact that two deluded 16-year-olds
have decided to ruin their lives... Yippee.
And I really don't need your help.
Come on... come here. Okay...
- try not to... - I'll, just...
I'm just going to help anyway.
Think I might have...
Drunken a little... Too much.
So...
You told Naomi I asked you out.
Just like you knew I would. Come on, Liam, don't play me.
You are so obviously just trying to destroy your relationship with Naomi.
Yeah, why?
Well, either because A you're just not that into her
and you're not man enough to be honest about it,
Or B, you actually do like her and you're not man enough to handle it.
So that's your theory?
Basically, my theory is...
You're not much of a man.
I've been looking for you everywhere.
Ade, I...
I have to talk to you. Okay?
Well, okay, you know how everyone keeps going on and on and on
about the things that we're going to be missing out on?
What life has to offer?
Well, I kind of haven't been listening.
Until tonight.
We ended up going to this
burlesque club and
I started talking to this sorority girl and
even she was telling me that I shouldn't get married,
and I have to admit I started thinking about it...
dating
other people.
All that searching, all that looking.
I'm so lucky, Adrianna,
that I found you.
I promise
I'm done, I'm done looking.
I'm done.
Navid, we can't keep this baby.
What's that?
Your mother came here tonight.
She yelled at me and she told me we were making a huge mistake.
No, don't you listen to her. How, how dare she ruin your party...
No, it's not because of her.
It's because of what I did afterwards.
I took drugs, Navid.
But Ade,
- what about the baby? - I threw up.
After I realized what I did, I made myself throw up.
- You were under tremendous stress. - I was stressed
and I took drugs!
That's not okay, Navid, that's not good!
I'm not ready
to raise this child, okay? I...
I am not...
I'm really not ready. I just got out of rehab a few months ago. I'm not ready.
- I know, but Ade... - No, I'm not ready to raise this child.
I wish... I wish I was.
I really,
I really, really wish I was.
I'm not.
Oh, geez.
Thank you for helping me.
Yeah, yeah, no problem. He'll, he'll sleep it off.
Annie, I was thinking about those theories of yours and
I want to offer up another theory.
Maybe I'm just curious about you.
What do you mean you're curious?
Well, I don't know.
I mean,
you throw a shower for something you don't feel like celebrating.
You act like a good girl, but...
You're not.
You are a volcano.
- What? - Yeah, see
You're dormant now, but there's stuff percolating.
This whole good girl routine,
the smile that you paste on your face...
it's just a mask
and when you finally can't take it anymore
and you explode,
it's going to be fantastic.
Who doesn't want to watch a volcano explode?
Annie, where are you? It's time for dessert.
No offense, but the baby cake is a little macabre.
What were you doing upstairs?
Liam just dropped Dixon off.
And, I'm sorry, Naomi, but I do not like Liam.
I just don't.
Of course you don't.
I'm just playing him really tight.
I mean, it's tedious, but I think it'll do the trick.
He'll come around. Maybe I'll be the next one to get married.
Cake?
How are you feeling?
I shouldn't have eaten that worm.
Famous last words.
Would you...?
Would you like to go to the prom with me?
Really?
Really.
Wait, hold on, wait.
Are you going to remember this tomorrow?
I'm not the one that's drunk.
Cool.
A lot of this should be, easy to return,
though I don't know if we should return things or give the money back.
And some of these things, I mean...
What are we supposed to do with hand-knit baby booties?
We don't have to deal with everything tonight.
Come here.
Hold me.
Are you okay?
I'm sad.
I'm sad, too.
We're not getting married, are we?
Maybe someday.
- But not now. - Not right away.
It doesn't make sense, does it?
No, it doesn't make sense.
- Do I have to give back my ring? - What? No.
I had to sell my iPod for that ring.
Of course not, don't be silly.
You keep that ring on.
It can be like an engagement-to-be engaged ring.
Okay.
It's okay, Ade.
- We're okay? - Yeah, I mean, think about it.
We've been through all of this,
through everybody, through their reactions,
the whole storm, you know.
We didn't, we didn't turn on each other.
No, we didn't.
So we're more than okay.
We're good.
We're really good.
I love you.
I have the most wretched hangover.
It's probably post-traumatic stress disorder.
I can't believe you went out with Mr. Matthews.
- We got the house. - We got the house?
- When did you find out? - Yesterday.
I wanted to tell you right away, but...
The money was supposed to be wired from my bank in Paris, but
they used the wrong routing number apparently.
It's so frustrating.
I wanted to sort it all out before I told you about the house, but,
now the bank is saying that it might take up to a week to sort out. I just...
I don't know what to do.
I so don't want you to have to pay with your money...
I don't mind. Seriously.
No. No way.
Jen, you have to let me do this, okay?
You've been amazing to me. Please.
Okay,
fine, but I'm going to pay you back.
I'm the big sister.
You're the best big sister in the world.
You're so sweet.
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