-Budge up, Lizzie darling.
-Give us some room. -Don´t mess with the covers.
You´re making me cold.
Well, look at this.
What?
Nothing.
AGATHA: Okay. Gather ´round.
Oh!
-Wa-hoo!
To you four beautiful people here.
-Mm-hmm. -My friends.
ALL: Aww.
Can I just say that I am happier now than I have ever been?
Living here!
And a lot of that is down to you.
And James?
And James.
But this has been an amazing hen party.
Aggie, your carriage awaits. Gemma, take over.
-AGATHA: Whoo-whoo-whoo! -You got her. You got her. Oh.
-Oi! -Come here.
Oh. Just want to say
the only thing that could make me...
MAN: Come on. Hurry up, mate.
...any happier is...
ROY: ...barrel of laughs, that one.
AGATHA:...if you and Bill got together.
I don´t think it´s going to happen.
Oh!
Bill likes you more than he likes Mum.
And that is entirely understandable.
No, it´s not!
I think he´s probably over me by now.
Gemma, make sure she gets her beauty sleep.
She is going to need it after tonight.
Roy, not even that facetious little remark
is going to ruin my happiness.
Bye, Bill.
Are you going to be all right?
That´s what you do, isn´t it?
Bye!
BILL: Cheerio.
AGATHA: Whoo!
-ROY: Come on, Bill.
ROY: Forward!
-JAMES: Good morning, Sarah. -Oh, good morning.
JAMES: Morning.
-The flowers look gorgeous. -Really beautiful.
And all arranged by Juliet and the Ladies´ Committee.
I am very grateful.
Sarah´s done most of it herself, actually.
Agatha wanted to bring in an expensive London florist,
but we told her this was one event she was not going to PR.
-Let´s.
-See you later. -See you later.
Okay?
Yeah.
[ Organ plays Wagner´s "Bridal Chorus" ]
Oi!
Is Agatha Raisin getting married today?
Yes, and I´m late.
Are you invited?
I wouldn´t think so.
I´m the last person she would want to see.
JEZ: James and Agatha.
If either of you know of any impediment
why you may not be lawfully joined in matrimony,
you must confess it now.
-BILL: Stop!
This has to stop! I cannot let this continue!
! What are you doing? -Jez, you can´t go on with this.
Agatha, you´re making a huge mistake.
Bill, stop it.
I know that you´ve had a crush on me
since I arrived in the village, and while I value you
-as a friend -- -This isn´t about me.
It´s about him.
Who´s he?
Agatha´s husband.
Jimmy?
I thought you said he was dead.
I thought he was dead.
We never get ´round to getting that divorce, did we, Aggie?
ROY: How much money do you want?
JIMMY: Well, there´s my emotional distress, isn´t there?
And, uh, my bus fare back to London.
50 quid. That´ll do.
Each.
What´s happened, Mr. Harvey?
Agatha´s husband turned up.
Where´s the nearest off-license, then, squire?
Well, that´s my place, but I´m not selling you any liquor.
Well, where´s the nearest offy that´s not your place?
GENE: Ancombe.
ROY: Some good news, Aggie.
Jimmy´s agreed to a quickie divorce.
CHARLES: And as soon as that´s done,
you´re free to go through the whole thing again.
How long do you think it will take?
However long it takes,
you´re not going to be marrying me, Agatha.
-Oh, don´t be silly. -JAMES: I´m not being silly.
ALL: Yes, you are.
JAMES: It took a lot to get me here today
because I believe that marriage should be based on trust.
How can I ever trust you again, Agatha?
You embarrassed us in front of everyone.
I´m sorry. I-I genuinely thought...
I don´t want to hear it.
Stay at Gemma´s.
[ Indistinct talking in distance ]
-AGATHA: Yeah.
We´ve brought you some extra tissues, just in case.
Thank you.
AGATHA: And some jaffa cakes.
What am I going to do, Gem?
Hello, Karen.
KAREN: Hello. You after a cup of sugar?
AGATHA: No, no, no. Um...
I wondered if you´d maybe had doubts about your move here.
And if you would consider selling my cottage back to me.
Oh, I see.
AGATHA: I-I was wondering, on the off chance,
if you were maybe regretting your move and...
I´m not regretting it. I´m sorry, Agatha.
I was lonely in London, and I love the feel of it here.
Like, tomorrow night, there´s the barn dance
at the village hall.
Are you going?
Um...
yeah, probably.
I hear that Charles Fraith is doing the calling.
And he´s a bit gorgeous. And worth a bob or two.
Mm.
JIMMY: Morning, sexy!
AGATHA: What do you want now?
I thought you´d gone.
Run out of money, haven´t I?
Really
Well, you´re getting nothing from me.
Well, I´ll have to stick around in the village, then, won´t I?
Why are you doing this, Jimmy?
You ruined my life once before.
Why are you trying to do it again?!
JIMMY: If you don´t give me money every week,
I´m gonna stick around!
That´s what I´ve decided!
I ain´t going anywhere, Aggie!
My bike!
Oh! Get off me!
I´m your husband!
Not anymore!
Leave me alone!
WILKES: Mrs. Agatha Raisin?
Yes?
I´m arresting you on suspicion
of the murder of your husband, Jimmy Raisin.
Are you mad?
She was seen assaulting him, Mrs. Bloxby,
right where he was killed.
Jimmy´s dead?
WILKES: A Mrs. Karen Hardy saw a heated argument
between you and the victim
which ended in an assault this morning.
Mrs. Hardy apologizes, but she had to report it.
Well, it´s true.
He was asking for money. I got angry, and I...whacked him.
And was that all?
Yes. He must have hit his head.
I didn´t think to look back and check that he was all right.
What are you doing here?
JAMES: I was arrested at Bristol Airport,
on my way to Cyprus...
...and our honeymoon villa.
The police think I killed Jimmy.
I´m not sure that they do.
I think they´re going to let us out in a bit.
But I hit him and he fell.
That´s...not what killed him.
They told me that Jimmy was strangled.
And there were boot prints around the body.
That´s why they thought that I was involved.
Well, who would want to strangle Jimmy?
Only us.
ROY: Hi, fellas. I´m looking for a guy called Jimmy Raisin.
MAN: No idea. You want to ask Lizzie.
ROY: Thanks.
Hi. Um, I was wondering
if I could ask you some questions about Jimmy Raisin.
JAMES: Thank you for getting us out of jail.
It´s Roy.
ROY: Well, your Jimmy
had a reputation for being a bit of a rascal.
He´d find stuff out about people,
like they were claiming Housing Benefit while sleeping rough
and then blackmail them to take a cut of the money.
Has he been on the streets long?
Yeah, but about four years ago
he got taken up by a homeless charity
run by a woman called Mrs. Gore-Appleton
and whisked off to Hunter´s House.
What´s Hunter´s House?
It´s a posh drying-out clinic.
Did it work?
No, he was back on the South Bank within a year.
Okay.
Thanks, Roy.
-Always a pleasure. -MAN: Mind out!
Was he homeless when you were dating him?
No. He wasn´t homeless.
He was handsome and funny and...
I knew that he drank, but...
You tend to think the best of people, don´t you,
when you´re 20?
I have to go.
Charles will you take
your very generous wedding present with you?
I´m sure you can get a refund.
I think I´m going to wait a while before I do that.
Just a hunch.
Are you... thinking of staying the night?
-Look at this.
Hunter´s House. It´s only a couple of miles away.
-AGATHA: So it means
that Jimmy was in this area four years ago.
Do you think that´s a coincidence?
Maybe.
Well, maybe we should go there tomorrow and...
make an inquiry about a booking or something.
We could try and find an address
for this Mrs. Gore-Appleton woman.
She might be able to fill us in on Jimmy´s time there.
I´ve tried to find her address,
but the charity seems to have folded.
Okay. Well, we´ll do that first thing tomorrow.
Okay.
I´ll, um...I´ll set up the spare room for you.
You can go back to Gemma´s after the barn dance.
DR. ADDER: Our fees here,
for 24-hour individually tailored rehab,
are £3,500 week.
Could I ask for whom you´re inquiring?
Yes, it´s for my friend here. She´s a hopeless alcoholic.
Yes, I am.
JAMES: She displays all the chronic symptoms.
She´s a liar. She lets people down.
And you can´t trust her as far as you can throw her.
I understand.
An old drinking buddy of hers, Jimmy Raisin,
received some treatment here a few years ago.
I remember.
I wonder if you have a contact number for him
or for the charity that paid for his treatment
run by a Mrs. Gore-Appleton, I believe.
Yes. I would just like to get in touch with him
so that I know what to expect.
I´m afraid we don´t give out any personal information.
But let me show you the premises.
Oh. Thank you.
Mornings begin with breakfast
-JAMES: Look. Look. -...in the canteen,
which we have nicknamed "Sobriety Central."
JAMES: Um, what exactly does breakfast consist of?
Oh!
Gore-Appleton.
Well, no one with the name "Gore-Appleton"
has ever lived at the address she gave the clinic.
Well, what about the offices of her old charity?
ROY: It´s now a minicab firm.
The woman´s vanished into thin air.
Or never existed.
AGATHA: Okay. Well, thanks, Roy.
We could always check out
some of the others who were at the clinic at the same time.
They might know something about her.
JAMES: Where´s that list?
AGATHA: What about... Sir Desmond and Lady Derrington?
Okay.
DESMOND: I hope you enjoy the rest of the day.
And thank you for your advice.
Oh, James. Look at this sweet little flower.
Sneezeweed. Not my favorite.
But, uh, Her-In-Charge likes a splash of color.
It´s a very beautiful garden.
Well, it gives me something to do
-after I left the Guards. -I know what you mean.
I´m recently decommissioned from the Cavalry.
Oh. Do you know Tim Simmonds? Excellent chap.
Very well, indeed.
Look, um, stay for a glass of something afterwards.
And, uh, bring your little Scottie friend, eh?
Are you local, Captain Lacey?
-AGATHA: No. -JAMES: Yes.
Well, which is it?
Well, my little Scottie friend is hoping to be local soon.
Yes.
She´s a hopeless alcoholic, you see.
Untrustworthy. Her life a tissue of crippling lies.
And I was thinking
of checking her into Hunter´s House to clean her up.
I hear, from people who´ve been there, that it´s very expensive.
I hope you don´t think me rude, Lady Derrington,
but I had heard that you been there yourself.
Good gracious, no.
Oh. It´s just that a friend of ours, Jimmy Raisin,
had said that he met you both there.
Don´t be absurd.
You were there four years ago? September?
Well, your friend Raisin is obviously still drunk,
because we haven´t set foot inside the place.
-JAMES: He´s lying. -AGATHA: I know he´s lying.
JAMES: He must have been there with some other woman,
-some girlfriend. -AGATHA: Mm-hmm.
Well, maybe we should come back another time
when the wife´s not around and question him.
-Oh, no. -DESMOND: I´m sick of scum
-like you and Raisin! -AGATHA: Fair enough!
JAMES: Yeah, we´re just leaving!
You´ll get no more money out of me! Do you hear?!
Crystal clear!
[ Car door closes, engine starts ]
AGATHA: Step on it! Step on it!
JAMES: I´m stepping on it.
What are you doing?
Writing a list of suspects.
Is that a permanent marker?
No, it´s not a permanent marker.
Right. Who have we got?
Sir Desmond Derrington.
Well, he was angry enough with us for even mentioning Jimmy.
Well, I know. So, what could he have done to Jimmy himself,
if he´d tried getting more money out of him?
Anyone else?
No. That´s it. It has got to be him.
This must be your record. One suspect. 24 hours.
We are an excellent team.
-Oh!
Yes?
-Yes.
Did you visit Sir Desmond Derrington this afternoon?
How do you know that?
-His wife told us. -I´ll handle this.
His wife told us.
She saw him threaten you and asked him for the truth
about his trip to Hunter´s House.
And after he confessed about his extra-sexual activity,
-she told him to sling his hook.
And he turned his gun on himself as he sat in the car.
Oh... -Oh, God.
Maybe he shot himself out of guilt.
Jimmy had already blackmailed him before,
and we think he was trying to do it again.
-We thought of that, too. -Yeah.
Did we?
Yes. But Lady Derrington said he was with her all yesterday
preparing the garden for the open day.
So it couldn´t have been him.
CHARLES: And forwards.
And back.
Forwards, turn left.
And...
And twizzle.
Like ladies on a spit.
-And polka with your partner.
CHARLES: Are you ready to go ´round again?
JULIET:
So, have you found this Fiona Gore
No. Not yet.
The woman seems to have disappeared
as completely as her dodgy charity.
-Mm. -Or she´s changed her name.
[ Song ends, cheers and applause ]
Bill? My mum asked if you´d like to dance.
Uh...I said I´d get Charles another beer.
Sorry.
CHARLES: Ladies and gentlemen,
the next dance is the Flying Scotsman.
Three sets of couples, longwise.
Gentlemen, keep the band on your left; ladies, on the right.
Now I will hand you over to Jim.
JIM: Thanks, Charles. Ladies...
I think this Fiona Gore-Appleton woman could be living locally.
Ah, who cares?
Think about it, Gem.
Jimmy arrives in the village and he recognizes her.
If she´s got something to hide --
Jimmy could have been blackmailing her --
so she kills him.
You´re just in a mood
because James is dancing with the newbie.
No, I´m not.
JIM: Down and back.
And we have a new top couple.
I´d really like to kiss Bill, you know.
Gemma, can you concentrate? I think I´m onto something here.
We know nothing about these two newbies
that have arrived in the village,
what, three, four weeks ago -- Karen Hardy and...
The pretty one dancing with James.
How do we know they are who they say they are?
JIM: Top couple -- down and back.
James, I need to talk to you.
Do you mind?
Just forget about that for a minute.
I can´t.
What do we know about Juliet and Karen?
-Well... -Nothing.
-Exactly.
Well, I think that this "Fiona Gore-Appleton"
could be living right under our noses.
We need to find out if these women are who they say they are.
How do we do that?
Well...
Oh, no. You have a plan.
I can´t believe you talked me into this.
Thankfully, Juliet left the window open.
AGATHA: And Karen hadn´t changed my locks.
JAMES: What are we looking for again?
AGATHA: Passports, gas bills,
anything official with her name on it.
We need to see if she really is Juliet Comfort.
JAMES: Okay.
AGATHA: I´ll do the same for Karen Hardy.
We will be back at that dance in no time.
Oh, my God.
What is it?
Agatha? What have you found?
AGATHA: Nothing.
It´s just really odd
seeing someone else´s furniture in my cottage.
KYRA: Why aren´t you dancing?
Right. When one of those newbies leaves, I´ve got to text Aggie.
JIM: Well done, Sarah.
Very good.
[ Song ends, cheers and applause ]
Charlie? May I have the honor of another dance?
My pleasure.
-Oh, but --
The pleasure would be all mine.
Yes. Yes, I suppose it will be.
JIM: Forwards and back.
And again.
...twice ´round your partner.
Some people find flirting really easy, don´t they?
Why don´t you?
Scared of being rejected, I think.
So are they. They´re just a bit braver about it.
Okay. Bugger it.
JIM:
And forwards and back.
GEMMA: Hey, Bill.
Um, you know, I´ve been watching you
at dances and parties for about 15 years now.
I´ve never actually seen you dance.
That´s because I can´t.
Oh, that´s rubbish. Anyone can jiggle about a bit.
-No. You know how some people... -Why don´t we go back to...
...are tone-deaf and shouldn´t sing?
Oh, like Aggie?
Yeah, like Agatha. Well, I´m "dance deaf."
When I dance, it upsets people.
Just an excuse. Come on. You´re dancing with me.
No, I´m all right. Seriously, I´m all right.
No. I don´t want to dance with you, Gem!
-Sorry, I didn´t me-- -GEMMA: It´s all right.
I didn´t mean that.
JAMES: She´s so tidy.
She seems to have put everything away.
Oh, hang on.
"New House."
Well, I have got a load of bills,
and they are all in the name of Karen Hardy.
Well, that puts her in the clear.
I shall see you back at the dance.
JAMES: Oh, my.
AGATHA: What?
Agatha, you are not going to believe this.
CHARLES: Nothing like a good barn dance to get you going,
-Wait till we´re inside. -CHARLES: I can´t.
I can´t.
Oh, Charles.
-Juliet... -Charles...
-Look, Charles.
Someone is burgling my house.
Wait here.
-JAMES: She´s coming in!
CHARLES: Hey!
Stop there!
James?
Hey!
JAMES: Oh!
CHARLES: Stop!
Stop! Hey!
Hey! Stop!
James? What´s happening?
JAMES: I´m being chased.
By who?
JAMES: Charles.
CHARLES: James? What were you doing in there?!
James?
It´s Agatha.
Juliet´s not who she says she is.
All of the stuff on the sale of her house
is in the name of Patricia Gadd.
And if she´s changed her name once...
She could have done it before.
CHARLES: Oh, she´s not the murderer, is she?
I quite fancied her.
JAMES: Juliet, can we have a word?
-No. I have to go. Sorry.
There were people in my house, Charles.
I don´t feel safe staying here tonight.
Juliet, you cannot run away from this.
CHARLES: Wait! Hey!
-Fiona! -Patricia!
Juliet!
-Juliet! -Patricia!
Fiona!
You were right, Aggie. I spoke to a friend of mine in The Met,
and they´ve been after Gore-Appleton for a while.
She´d get huge donations for her charity
but just pocket the money.
Her only project seemed to be Jimmy Raisin,
who she took up with for a while.
-Got to go!
Imagine Juliet´s shock
when she saw Jimmy turning up for our wedding.
The one person in the world who could identify her.
What are the chances of that?
AGATHA: Well, not high.
But don´t you think that chance governs the world?
Whether we´re here or not, who we fall in love with.
I mean, what are the odds of you and I sitting here right now?
I mean, think about it.
What if my parents hadn´t met
or your parents hadn´t met each other
or their parents hadn´t gone to the same dance
and then plucked up the courage to talk to each other?
All of these chance meetings have ended up here tight now...
with us.
I´m so sorry...
that I didn´t sort out my first marriage properly
and I put you through that.
Thank you.
AGATHA: Jimmy was so long ago
that it almost feels like... he never existed.
And I feel like I didn´t really exist...
...till I met you.
Give us a kiss.
It´s getting hot in here.
AGATHA: Yes, it is.
! -CHARLES: James!
! -KAREN: James!
CHARLES: James! James!
-AGATHA: Just ignore them.
CHARLES: Aggie! Got to get out!
I better go.
AGATHA:
-KAREN: Get out!
CHARLES: James! Are you in there?!
BILL: Did you see anyone in the surrounding area?
SARAH: No. Nothing else at all. Just on the way home...
Are you sure you have somewhere to stay the night?
Yes. Sarah´s putting us up. Thank you.
Thank you for raising the alarm.
Well, I heard a car race off, so looked out of the window.
What color of car was it?
Blue.
-I won´t be a minute.
AGATHA: Oh.
I feel a little bit overwhelmed by everything.
Yeah, I bet.
And I keep thinking about Jimmy, and...
Oh. I know he was a complete pain in the neck,
but, oh, he didn´t deserve to meet someone like that, did he?
GEMMA: No.
And I feel as if I want to know a little bit more about him.
Okay.
And I feel guilty for not grieving for him, and...
and I didn´t stay in touch.
There´s no need to feel guilty, Agatha.
I know. I know.
But first loves, Bill.
They stay with you.
It is a powerful thing.
OFFICER: D.C. Wong? Come in.
Yes?
The suspect has been apprehended on the motorway.
-BILL: Okay, thank you.
They´ve picked up Juliet Comfort on the M4.
She was heading for Heathrow.
WILKES: "Juliet Comfort."
Why call yourself "Juliet Comfort"?
It felt like a happy name.
Ah...
But is "Juliet Comfort"
a happier name than "Fiona Gore
Well, that´s an irrelevant question, really,
Chief Inspector.
What actually is your name?
Patricia Gadd.
I´ve never heard the name Fiona Gore-Appleton.
But why change your name at all?
Because...I wanted to disappear.
From the police?
From my husband.
Who is...abusive.
He´s a hedge funder in the city,
and he said that if I ever left him he would hunt me down.
So I squirreled some money away
and planned a new life somewhere quiet.
I think that man who was burgling my cottage
-last night was working for him.
I think he´s tracked me down.
So that´s why I ran away last night.
AGATHA: I can´t believe Jimmy ended up here.
ROY: I can´t believe you wanted to come here.
But if you insist on having closure...
Ah. She´s over here.
Lizzie?
Oh. Hello.
Hi. Um, this is Jimmy´s wife.
He used to call me his little wife.
I didn´t know he was married.
A-A very long time ago.
Are you sad he´s gone?
Yeah.
And me. It´s lonely without Jimmy.
Did he leave anything behind?
Any belongings or anything?
That´s his worldly goods.
-AGATHA: Oh. -Ooh.
GEMMA: What´s in there?
ROY: Uh...
A photo of a girl with brown hair.
That´s me.
Oh, give over.
Oh, he kept it all these years.
ROY: These clippings are all articles that mention you,
including the profile piece
saying that you´re the best PR in the country.
Another photo. That definitely isn´t you.
Oh, hang on. Um, "Me and Fiona."
Fiona Gore-Appleton.
Well, that´s Karen Hardy.
This is the woman who bought my cottage.
Are the insurance people still in your cottage?
Oh, I´m not going to be able to get in for a few days.
Oh. Well, if you fancy some lunch,
I´m just about to make a salad.
That would be really nice. Thank you.
D.C. Bill Wong, please.
Well, could you please get a message to him?
JAMES: So, what made you move here?
I wanted to be part of the community.
And you´ll think this is a bit silly,
but when I saw the property, I saw you were next door.
You -- Surely you knew why Agatha was selling.
You knew we were getting married.
You´re not anymore.
If you lay the table, I´ll just go and change out
of this old thing and we can have lunch.
I should go, really.
Don´t be silly.
You´re perfectly safe. I´m sure I can resist you.
Where are your knives and forks?
You don´t keep your cutlery where Agatha did.
KAREN: Under the sink.
What do you think?
I got it at the boutique in Stow.
You knew Jimmy.
Are you Fiona?
"Fiona" was just a name for the charity.
Did you know you were buying the cottage from Jimmy´s wife?
No.
I thought her surname was a coincidence.
And I liked the symmetry of it.
I couldn´t believe it when he turned up.
And when he started demanding money, well...
I was not going to have that.
I´m going to phone the police.
Of course.
I´d have let that fire burn
if the vicar and his wife hadn´t walked past.
Stay where you are.
KAREN:
WILKES: Stop right there!
Just stop there!
Right, there.
Oh!
You´re under arrest!
-Get off! -Take her! Take her!
KAREN: Get off me!
Hey, mister. Your taxi awaits.
-Better.
Good.
Well, I am under very strict instructions from the nurse.
At the first sign of wooziness,
I´m to bring you straight back here.
I don´t feel like going to Jez and Sarah´s.
I feel like going to Cyprus, as the villa´s still free.
-Get some sun. -Good idea.
Well, I´m sure I could get us flights by this evening.
I want to go on my own, Agatha.
Um...
Do some thinking.
Okay.
Well, if you want me to join you at any time, just text.
Let´s just...give it some time.
Mm-hmm.
Morning, Agatha.
Morning.
BILL: What time is James´ flight?
-I don´t know. -Yes, you do.
3:10.
If he goes to Cyprus alone, he´s going to sit there
and find a reason not to get back with you.
No, he won´t.
He´s been a bachelor for years, Agatha.
His head is full of excuses
to not be in a serious relationship.
It´s his default position.
I should know.
If you´re lucky enough to have found someone you really like,
you have to persist.
Get on that plane.
There´s a girl over there who really, really likes you
and who I know that you really like, too.
So stop finding excuses not to give her a chance.
´Cause she´s special.
And so are you.
JEZ: Hymn number 272, "Love Divine, All Loves Excelling."
♫ Love divine, all loves excelling ♫
♫ Joy of heaven to earth come down ♫
♫ Fix in us thy humble dwelling ♫
♫ All thy faithful mercies crown ♫